The captain of the a disabled wheelchair curling team has been suspended pending an investigation into allegations that he is not disabled, just a lazy bastard.
The astonishing claim was made by a member of the opposing Korean team at the Paralympics in Vancouver, after the Koreans had beaten the other team 7-5.
Accused captain James Scrounger, 28, has been unemployed since birth, and has severe difficulty getting his arse out of bed in a morning. His mother used to ask him to do light chores around the house, but he would only sweep the floor if he could sit down on a computer chair whilst doing it, which is how he came to rely upon it so much, and why he is such a lazy twat today.
Other members of the team were quick to rally round to support Scrounger, which he liked, because he's so lazy, and prefers not to support himself. Miles Spazz told us:
"Curling? Is it really a sport?"
