Frank Williams beats Ralph Schumacher in head to head race

Funny story written by StoneCold-316

Wednesday, 19 May 2004

image for Frank Williams beats Ralph Schumacher in head to head race
FW and RS at the end of the race, FW clearly annoyed, Ralph clearly a bit stupid

Frank Williams and Ralph Schumacher went head to head in a race to determine whether or not to keep Ralph for the 2005 season.

Both Patrick Head and Frank Williams were said to be extremely disappointed in Ralph's performance, the race was conducted in private in Jerez over 75 laps. Frank Williams drove his wheelchair while Ralph drove the latest 2004 Williams challenger with a few new parts including a power upgrade.

Unfortunately, Ralph had trouble with the balance of his car and blamed the weather conditions for the adverse effect on the aerodynamics on his car;

"I keep telling engineers that the car is no good and that when Montoya goes quick lap after lap, it is pure luck, whereas I am like my brother…very good" said Ralph.

Clearly the bright, sunny and calm conditions threw Ralph off his game.

At the end of the race, Frank Williams finished 3 laps ahead of Ralph even though he did not wear his regular wheelchair gloves and opted for the less efficient strategy of stopping off at a beach resort for two days rest.

A very unimpressed Frank commented " I am sure Ralph could go faster and that he could not because he is crap". Patrick Head strongly disagreed and said that "Ralph could not go any quicker, even with Concorde beneath him and a 2 month head start".

A distraught Willy Webber, manager for Ralph Schumacher, attempted to calm down the Williams team and said that his driver "is not at fault, he is good because Michael says so", in a bid to get the contract talks moving, Willy Webber offered to accept an increase in salary for Ralph with a promise of doing no better or worse than current efforts.

Michelin were also blamed by the Schumacher camp and that the tyres were not fair as Michelin showed favouritism to Frank.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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