Following Liverpool's semi-final Champions league win over Chelsea on penaties reports have been confirmed that 6'7 Liverpool striker Peter Crouch is in fact a shaven wookie from the planet Kashyyk.
Financial books from Anfield show that Crouch (26) has charged millions of pounds to the Club to pay for razors and shaving foam in an effort to conceal his identity. Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez had this to say.
"I am stunned by this information. I mean, ok, we thought something was strange when Peter started killing our youth players with lightsabres and growling but we just thought it was a phase. I mean, come on, a wookie, next you will be telling me that Dirk Kuyt is a Klingon or something."
In other sports news reports have confirmed that Liverpool striker Dirk Kuyt is a klingon...
