Kentucky Derby betting hots up amid Queen Elizabeth visit rumors

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

image for Kentucky Derby betting hots up amid Queen Elizabeth visit rumors
Kentucky Derby could be a bloodbath for the bookies

Kentucky - (Ass Mess): As a huge wall of money began flooding the betting market ahead of Saturday's running of the 133rd Kentucky Derby ante-post odds have begun some dramatic fluctuations amid reports that a massive corruption scandal is about to be busted by the Feds centered on the Blue Grass State's equine breeding industry.

The revised list of runners and riders also reflects the dramatic effect that a visit to the big race by Bush puppet monarch Queen Elizabeth will have on the weekend's big race:

ANY GIVEN SATURDAY: Owned by the WinStar Farm, Maverick Racing and Padua Stable, trained by Todd Pletcher, and ridden by 35 year old Garret Gomez whose tally of over 2,000 winners is highly respected, the dark bay/brown colt by Distorted Humor/Weekend in Indy is generously priced around the 16/1 mark.

Spoof Verdict: will still be running the following Saturday in a bid to complete the circuit.

BWANA BULL: Owned by the Mark DeDomenico, Mark Jelladian & Dan and Jerry Todaro partnership, trained by Ohio-born Jerry Hollendorfer and ridden by 30 year old Javier Castellano whose tally of over $12 million last year was a personal record breaker, the chestnut colt by Holy Bull/Shahalo is a steal at 20/1.

Spoof Verdict: Bull is an apt part of the name and at 20/1 will take a miracle to find the frame.

CIRCULAR QUAY: Owned by Irish gangster and former shyster bookmaker Michael Tabor, trained by Texan Todd Pletcher and ridden by 36 year old Puerto Rican John Velazquez, the chestnut colt by Thunder Gulch/Circle of Life is priced 8/1.

Spoof Verdict: Feds have been onto Tabor for over three years now and might bust him as well as impounding all his racing bloodstock ahead of the big day. So save your hard-earned cash on any ante-post plunge, you could regret it.

COBALT BLUE: Owned by the Merv Griffin Ranch Company, trained by Michigan native Doug O'Neill and ridden by Mexican Victor Espinoza, the Golden Missile/Prado Star chestnut colt is ambitiously riced at 40/1.

Spoof Verdict: Will be popular south of the border at 40/1 but will need a major miracle to get within 500 yards of the eventual winner. Save your cash!

CURLIN: Trainer Steve Asmussen is pretty bullish about the 4/1 favorite's chances on Saturday as are owners Jess Jackson, Padua Stable, George Bolton & Midnight Cry Stable who are rumored to have piled in around $4 million in bets between them; rider Robby Albarado is fully recovered from a 2000 pelvic fracture and the 4/1 chance is a chestnut colt by Smart Strike/Sherriff's Deputy.

Spoof Verdict: Would present a major industry upset by winning and cleaning out a number of top bookies at such a ridiculous price.

DOMINICAN: Trainer Darrin Miller is Kentucky Derby novice, so is owner Silverton Hill Farm and 25 year old jockey Rafael Bejarano looks pretty desperate to get into the winning frame; the El Corredor/First Violin chestnut was gelded as a precaution two years ago.

Spoof Verdict: 12/1 are daft odds for a daft horse.

GREAT HUNTER: Another one trained by Doug O'Neill, owner J. Paul Reddam is one smart guy with a doctorate in philosophy and the rider Corey Nakatani, 35, has had some pretty notable successes in the past; the dark bay/brown colt by Aptitude/Zenith is a bit younger than the others and is generally available at 12/1.

Spoof Verdict: Worth an each-way bet of up to $1000 on the current ante-post price.

HARD SPUN: Owner Fox Hill Farms Inc is the racing name of second hand Florida car dealer Richard Porter whose Round Pond won the Breeders' Cup Distaff last year; trainer J. Larry Jones has never had a Kentucky Derby runner before and veteran 46 year old jockey Mario Pino has never ridden in this big race; the bay colt by Danzig/Turkish Tryst might appeal on pedigree however.

Spoof Verdict: Named after the Rovian fantasy of the US state visit of Queen Elizabeth, you'll be hard done to back Hard Spun even at odds of 14/1.

LIQUIDITY: Yet another Doug O'Neill-trained horse owned by Ontario brainbox J. Paul Reddam, Liquidity's jockey is Tijuana-born David Flores who has ridden in eight Kentucky Derbies; the Tiznow/Boa bay colt is the owner's/trainer's second string.

Spoof Verdict: At 40/1 it's a bit of a joke, $5 each way kind of bet.

NOBIZ LIKE SHOBIZ: UAE fake shaikh Shaikh Mohhamed McTomb Raider reputedly offered $17 million this week for this Elizabeth Valando-owned contender trained by Barclay Tagg which is due to be ridden by Cornelio Velasquez; the bay colt by Albert the Great/Nightstorm has an awesome pedigree that bookmakers have marked as an 8/1 chance.

Spoof Verdict: If you like the hype about this one, go for it. But any bet over $100 would be money down the drain.

SAM P: Owner Starlight Stable & Donald Lucarelli are pretty bullish about this one's chances; trainer Todd Pletcher has done a good job and 30 year old Venezuelan jockey Ramon Dominguez is reportedly riding like a bat ut of hell these days; good pedigree about the Cat Thief/Affirmed Legacy chestnut colt.

Spoof Verdict: At 33/1 the price is daft. A good each-way prospect if the weather holds.

SCAT DADDY: Yet another Todd Pletcher-trained contender, owned by Rumson, New Jersey resident James Scatuorchio and Irish gangster/mobster Michael Tabor, and ridden by Edgar Prado; the dark bay/brown colt by Johannesburg/Love Style has had a big wedge of Irish money laundering pig-breeder cash staked on him.

Spoof Verdict: 5/1 second favorite; run a mile if Queen Elizabeth backs it, it'll be a kiss of death.

SEDGEFIELD: Silverton Hill-owned, Darrin Miller-trained and Julien Leparoux-ridden chestnut colt by Smart Strike/Belva.

Spoof Verdict: 40/1 price is extremely generous given it's chances.

SLEW'S TIZZY: Owner is Joseph LaCombe Stable Inc, trainer is equine veterinarian Greg Fox and the jockey is yet to be announced to partner this dark bay/brown colt by Tiznow/Hepatica.

Spoof Verdict: Odds of 100/1 quoted on the internet. Say no more.

STORM IN MAY: This three-legged no-hoper is owned by Teresa and David Palmer, trained by William Kaplan, ridden by 23 year old Mexican Juan Leyva and is a gray/roan colt by Tiger Ridge /Laun Shaw.

Spoof Verdict: Internet bookies go 150/1. If he gets into the top ten finishers it will be a miracle.

STORMELLO: Owner/trainer William Currin has reportedly piled on the $$$$ in wagers at the 25/1 odds on offer this week; jockey Kent Desormeaux rides the chestnut colt by Stormy Atlantic/Wilshewed.

Spoof Verdict: Odds of 25/1 might see it placed 3rd or 4th, good value each way bet.

STREET SENSE: Owner is James B. Tafel, trainer is Carl Nafzger and the rider will be Calvin Borel of this dark bay/ brown colt by Street Cry/Bedazzle.

Spoof Verdict: The 6/1 third favorite. Hold on to your cash and don't go ante-post. Watch the odds on Saturday morning and listen out for the vets' reports.

TEUFLESBERG: Gary Logsdon, Donnie Kelly and Jamie Sanders bought this horse for $9,000 to recue it from a glue factory fate. Trainer Jamie Sanders's tarot reader rates it highly and jockey Stewart Elliott has promised to wear his lucky underpants on Saturday. The bay colt is by Johannesburg/St. Michele.

Spoof Verdict: The 66/1 price is a joke. Even at 1,000/1 the price would be stupid. Suitable candidate for the three-legged race.

TIAGO: Owned by showbiz couple Mr & Mrs Jerome S Moss and trained by John Shirreffs, Tiago will be ridden by Mike Smith; the bay colt colt is by Pleasant Tap/Set Them Free.

Spoof Verdict: 16/1 seems pretty generous. Save your hard earned cash and put it on the throw of a dice instead.

XCHANGER: Owned by Circle Z Stables, trained by Mark Shuman and ridden by a yet to be named rider, this gray gelding is by Exchange Rate/Saragoza.

Spoof Verdict: Odds of 250/1 easily available on the internet. Wouldn't touch it with a bargepole.

ZANJERO: Owner Winchell Thoroughbreds LLC is fronted by donut shop magnates Joan and son Ron Winchell; trainer is Steven Asmussen and the rider will be Jamaican Shaun Bridgmohan; the dark bay/brown colt is by Cherokee Run/Checkered Flag.

Spoof Verdict: Odds of 25/1 might come down to the 16/1 - 18/1 mark on the day. Worth a little flutter.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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