NEW YORK - Alex Rodriguez is negotiating a deal with Major League Baseball that would allow him to reverse a lifetime ban for his role in taking performance-enhancing drugs by switching to Performance Unenhancing drugs (PUDs).
PUDs are delivered rectally, so A-Rod would have to take a PUD up is rectum three-times-daily (TTD). He has suggested that Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia delivers the morning PUD, catcher Chris Stewart applies the mid-day PUD, while manager Joe Girardi brings it home with the bedtime PUD.
All remaining Yankees have volunteered to help with A-Rod's SPORT diet by tossing his salad at dinner time.
