Deleting the Expletives of Big Papi David Ortiz

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Friday, 10 May 2013

After playing the best baseball seen in these parts in years and years, the Red Sox have fallen back to earth. If you ask David Ortiz, the master of smutty talk, you'd receive a four-letter response.

Alas, as the last bastion of expletive deleted good taste, we cannot type the simple four letter words and must take the time to repeat the ad nauseum expression, "Expletive Deleted."

Apparently after using the F-bomb in front of a family friendly 38,000 fans and children at the opening game when he took the microphone to express his emphatic emotions, Ortiz is at it again.

This time the F-bomb was applied to another terror of the modern ballplayer: steroids.

Endlessly accused in speculation, and named on at least one official list, the recalcitrant Ortiz did not respond, "Nuts," to the charge.
He resorted again to your father's expletive deleted.

This time he coupled his response to a modern insouciance, "Who gives a (blank)?"

Granted that Ortiz speaks English as a non-native, having learned his vernacular at the feet of expletive deleted coaches and ballplayers.

Yet, we suspect that this is not the error of a poor English speaker, but is the rage of a deliberate pattern of hostility and contempt.

No doubt, David Ortiz thinks his expletive deleted doesn't stink, and that he expletive deletes ice cream. Who gives an expletive deleted?

We have endeavored to raise the vocabulary of readers in this expletive deleted blog, but we begin to realize the impact of an expletive deleted expression.

We now enjoy telling the reader to go expletive delete himself.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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