Written by Ossurworld

Thursday, 25 April 2013

Surprise of all surprises, the Houston Colt .45s have come to Boston in April.

We thought interleague play began later in the season. To our shock, we learned that the Houston team is now in the American League, having been drummed out of the National side.

The divorce was amicable. It was time to go.

Then, we learned that the Colt .45s have changed their name to the Astros. This was done apparently in honor of the Jetson dog, Astro.

It seems fortuitous that the Colt .45s renamed their team in 1961 because the NRA would never let a Texas team leave the ranks of gun owners. They tend to go ballistic in Texas over the gun pried from their cold, dead fingers.

So, now that we have caught up on history, we are still amazed by the Astros. We shouldn't be. The pivotal bad National League team used to be the Amazin' Mets, but Houston was so pathetic, they were sent to the American League like they were shot out of a cannon.

The Astros are already passé within their own nomenclature. They used to play at the Astrodome that has been turned into a terrarium next to the new stadium in Houston.

You have to understand the irony that the originator of Astroturf has gone green. Alas, the Houston Astros themselves remain space shots.

Once a state of the art baseball franchise, hard times have befallen those Astros who have come from Houston to Boston to face the guys who are 'Boston Strong.'

Give the Astros a blindfold and one last cigarette. They are facing the hot-dog Red Sox that shoot from the hip.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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