The Old One Two chairman Sir Kerr MacRae admits he could lose the huge necked sensation Richard Six Bellies Adams next month.
Six Bellies Adams has a pre-contract agreement with the The Old One Two to sign a professional contract on completion of his two Hundredth Plate of Spaghetti Bolognaise
But MacRae told the club's radio station Shite FM: "We want him to stay but I cannot give any copper-bottomed answers and say he will be here."
Six Bellies Adams's agent Gordon Ramsay told the Spoof: "Our only concern is Richard's best interest and development as a unfeasibly huge player."
MacRae remains confident that Six Bellies Adams will commit himself on 16 March, but admits he would be powerless if the huge girthed striker decided he wanted to take the plunge into a Balti.
He added: "In the same way that supporters have jobs and sometimes move on, if he feels he is better served by a move then that is a matter for him and his dietician.
"We hope that we are the right club to give him the right career path to progress. If he feels that, then I'm sure he will stay.
"We want to get the best from him and for him to progress and flourish here, as he has done so far.
"But if at any stage he wants to go, then that will be a matter for him and his advisors and those he talks to."
Although all parties insist that food is not the priority, The Spoof understands The Old One Two are prepared to make Six Bellies Adams the highest-fed striker in the country.
Adams saw himself on the bench last night for the oepning game of the season due to a serious tactical error by increasingly confused player Manager Sir Kerr MacRae. He had planned a two player rotation at half time to allow the chunky yet talented Adams time get into his new shirt.
MacRae said: "I'm not going into contractual details but the issue is he is now a 19 collar size.
"All things being equal, he is a big lad who will listen to his advisors and his constantly rumbling tummy, and everything they say has got to be taken into account."
Six Bellies Adams's representatives met MacRae, The Old One Two director of football Sir Ted Blakemore, and academy director Huw Jennings earlier this week.
Rumours of a romance with German Au Pair Lena Onalampost were scuppered when the pretty German returned to her fatherland this week.
Luckily, no one saw the game which also heralded two new players Mark Gammage ex ice dancer who forgot to take off his skates in the first half and Darren Bridges.
The 4-0 loss against a new squad from Dunton Green added to calls for MacRaea's reign to end, especially as they only played against a Dunton Green Squad of 3 men and a Yorkshire terrier named "Scruff"
"That dog was never over 30" said Westerham Legend Ian Sadlier after it completed it's Darlington Hat Trick by beating Nimble footed Stu The Glue at the nearpost.
If Six Bellies Adams signs a professional contract with The Old One Two, it will give the south coast club scope to feed him later, with feeds of up to £10m being discussed.
