How Not To Die
1. Breathe
2. Don't have a heart attack
3. Don't get sexually active with Donald Trump
written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
Secret of Rapid Ageing Revealed.
LONDON: Scientists at the Tavistock Inst. have discovered that "rapid ageing" is directly caused by being timed while getting old.
written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
Woman Thought to Have Been Dead is Found.
lONDON. A Woman thought to have been dead for over fifty years was yesterday discovered by her husband.
"I woke up... and there she was... lying beside me," said he."
written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
Last Words
"Look at the size of the fu##k'in teeth on that bastard!"
Last words of an English tourist 'taken' by a Great White while fishing off the coast of Tasmania.
written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
TRUMP the next President.
How do we know?
The Media.
Howz dat?
The Media tells Americans what to think.
All of them?
Most of them.
written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
Never too old!
When I was a young man and the entire world lay before me, I dreamt of having BMW's.
Now....I am an old man.
I have BFW's.....burps, farts and wheezes.
DANG!.......soo close!
written by b kenneth mcgee, 18 May 2016
Scientific Discovery of the Century
Scientists have just found that Micheal Jackson, Bruce Lee and Jesus are all currently on a spiritual journey in Chuck Norris' beard.
written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
Hitler's Legacy Lives On
Before we get to the article, we would like to thank MacDonaldTrumps and their tasty Trump burger for their cash.
written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
Film at 10 o'clock
I am currently wearing rubber nipples, whilst riding a donkey, on top of a sopranos singer. Film at 10 o'clock.
written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
