There were 34 spoof news snippets published in January 2016. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Erskine Quint goes to Hollywood!
Erskine goes to Hollywood, but not in a gay way, however Frankie did!!
written by unknown
Kim Jong un is just so Bombastic!
North Korean nutter, Kim Jong un, scared the shit out of the world by supposedly testing H bombs, however, he claims that Tom Jones's "Sex Bomb" is to blame because he feels it's a blast!
written by unknown
Bill Gates on Desert Island Discs!
Bill Gates appears on BBC 4's Jurassic radio programme, Desert Island Discs divulging his top 10 fav discs and a special one is; I am the Walrus - Apple Record dedicated to Steve Jobs, say's it all!
written by unknown
Angie Merkel naked! How horrific!
In solidarity with the Cologne sex attack victims, Angela Merkel will stand naked under the Cologne Dome hoping this action will put off sex attackers forever! She has a point!
written by unknown
Chaps will be Chapo's!
Notorious prison breaker, El Chapo, and Sean Penn, naughty chap, met before El Chapo was captured, but he assured Sean, "see you soon the boy's are already digging" Sean will play El Chapo soon!
written by unknown
Moonwalking! No English Spacewalking!
Brit astronaut, Tim Peake, walking in space decided to show off and do a version of Whacko Jacko's, Moonwalking! Houston were not pleased so they told Tim either come back in or go to hell in heaven!
written by unknown
Donald Trump To Wear Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress For All Remaining Debates
He will also wear it during the Presidential debate with Hillary Clinton, if he wins the Republican nomination.
written by Moose, 03 January 2016
Labour Reshuffle
Jeremy Corbyn replaces entire Shadow Cabinet with Bobble Head dolls made in his own image.
written by John_L, 05 January 2016
How do you pick a candidate . . .
. . . for what is perhaps the worst job in the nation, when actually wanting the job may be the major disqualification for getting it?
written by The Ruling Authority, 08 January 2016
Thousands Of Hewlett Packard Printer Ink Cartridges Washed Up On British and European Beaches
'They were lost at sea last year,' said a spokesman for HP. 'Fortunately, despite their ridiculous retail cost, they contain virtually no ink and so the environmental consequences should be minimal.'
written by Swan Morrison, 08 January 2016
Competition Hots Up For Most Inventive Way To Resign From Shadow Cabinet
Following Stephen Doughty's resignation on live TV, it is rumoured that another shadow minister plans to hire a plane to tow a banner across the London sky that reads "You're insane, Corbyn. I Quit!"
written by Swan Morrison, 09 January 2016
PM pays tribute to rock legend
"I was saddened to hear of the death of iconic Rock Legend, Lemmy Bowie," explained the PM "I have fond memories of listening to his track The Ace of Space Oddity"
written by I think I'm funny..., 11 January 2016
Cameron And Hunt Dismayed At Failure Of Their Honesty And Sincerity Impersonations
'They tried their best to pretend to look honest and sincere when claiming that junior doctors were being unreasonable,' said a Downing Street source, 'but sadly the public just aren't that gullible.'
written by Swan Morrison, 13 January 2016
'Yes, Prime Minister' to be shown to all MPs.
The classic comedy 'Yes Minister' and 'Yes, Prime Minister' is to be shown to all MPs. This after in the space of a week both Cameron and Corbyn stole comic policies from it for their own.
written by John_L, 17 January 2016
Jimmy Savile Case Closed
Scotland Yard have announced that the Savile Inquiry is closed. Said Chief Super Justin Thyme; "Now that the main suspects have at last died off we have no further need for it. Rule Britannia!"
written by Auntie Matter, 18 January 2016
Education Secretary Champions A Diversity Of Sporting Opportunities For Young People In Schools
'Athletics teaches young people about drugs,' Nicky Morgan told UK Sport representatives, 'tennis informs them about bribery, and football allows exploration of corporate corruption.'
written by Swan Morrison, 19 January 2016
HMRC Sends Jolly Nice Thank You Letter To Google
'We wanted to thank Google ever so much for thinking of us and using their valuable time to pay a bit of UK tax.' said Damian Hinds MP, Exchequer Secretary to the Treasury. 'It was very kind of them.'
written by Swan Morrison, 23 January 2016
Egypt Museum Staff Face Trial Over Botched Repair To Tutankhamun's Mysteriously Damaged Beard
'It's lucky they never noticed the rip in the shroud of Rameses II,' said an anonymous member of the museum staff. 'That got torn at the same fancy dress party.'
written by Swan Morrison, 24 January 2016
Will he or won't he??
King Louis van Gaal has created a Dutch Dilemma at Manchester United, will he retire or not? The great debate. He was last seen kicking up daisies in his Portugal residence, maybe that's the clue!
written by unknown
Duke of Edinburgh asks, "Is it Christmas Yet?"
Phil the Greek hit the headlines again when told he'd missed Christmas this year, flew into a rage for not getting reminded and threw his mug of Bovril at a footman.
written by fredflange, 28 January 2016
Democrat Presidential candidate, Senator Bernie Sanders proposed a maximum wage of $16 per hour.
In addition, Senator Sanders supports a minimum wage of $15 per hour.
written by Moose, 01 January 2016
Othering
Other Othered from Support Group Forms Another Other Support Group
written by Matt Birkenhauer, 01 January 2016
Dakota Johnson slams Ageism, applauds Nepotism in Hollywood
On Tuesday, Dakota Johnson called Hollywood out on not casting actresses like her mother Melanie Griffith, but applauded their hiring of the daughters of existing celebrities like Melanie Griffith.
written by Ben Erwin, 06 January 2016
EPA Formally Declares Clouds a Dangerous Pollutant
The declaration came after a new study indicated that clouds are melting the Greenland Ice Sheet.
written by Moose, 13 January 2016
Yosemite park plans to change some ironic names
The National Park Service announced today that it was changing the names of The Redskin hotel, Jungle Bunny Village and other beloved park sites.
written by Moose, 14 January 2016
British Astronaut Tim Peake cuts Spacewalk short.
The tea delivery system built into his spacesuit didn't work correctly and he refused to carry on work with out a decent tea break.
written by John_L, 15 January 2016
Airport Surveillance to Tighten Up
Internal organs removal now compulsory at all European and American airports.
written by Auntie Matter, 16 January 2016
Negative Reviews for Mad Mad Fury Road More Entertaining Than Movie
Truckload full of mothers' milk driving fast through desert not that compelling, actually.
written by Moe Nightwalker, 19 January 2016
Future Superstorm, "SnoWallopAlooza", Shuts Down East Coast
A MONSTER storm that might pack blizzard conditions spun by the elite East-Coast media will, hopefully, live up to the hype, but New York City and Washington DC shut down anyway.
written by Moose, 21 January 2016
Hidden Driveway
I'm always flummoxed by signs that read "Hidden Driveway."
If you went to all that trouble to hide your driveway, why announce its whereabouts with a sign?
written by Matt Birkenhauer, 24 January 2016
"Revenant" to be Made Into Musical.
The film Revenant starring Leonardo DiCaprio is to be made into a musical, renamed "Robinson Crusoe on Ice"
written by Auntie Matter, 24 January 2016
Now for the Attic Tax
UK: Following the "bedroom tax" comes the "attic tax". Anyone living in a house with an attic will have their welfare benefit cut by 10%.
written by Auntie Matter, 27 January 2016
Jimmy Savile Inquiry to Drag On...and On...and On...
Judge Lowell Goddard chairing the Savile inquiry has announced that the case will drag on for another 4 years so that high ranking suspects can get a chance to die off.
written by Auntie Matter, 28 January 2016
Lloyds Bank Sold
J.P.Morgan Chase Co. has bought Britain's Lloyd's bank for an undisclosed sum. Interest rates expected to rise. The NWO marches on.
written by Auntie Matter, 28 January 2016
