There were 43 spoof news snippets published in February 2016. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Jaggedone's new newsflashes from under his grubby overcoat!
Politicians, footballers, Justin Bieber, etc, are shaking in their boots hoping that Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) does not feature them! Wicked bastard!
written by unknown
It had to happen sooner or later!
Mark, prestigious editor of the infamous The Spoof, has been removed in a straight jacket after writers discovered he had his marbles crossed and wires loose; maybe it's better that way!
written by unknown
Somalia discovers latest exterminating machine!
A plane with a hole in its side landed at Mogadishu airport! 60 passengers were onboard at takeoff and 0 left at landing! The plane is called "Arbeit Macht Frei" ISIS has ordered a fleet of 100!
written by unknown
Message To Marco Rubio:
If you wish to express the incompetence of the President, you must express it in a competent way.
written by K.C. Bell, 09 February 2016
The Donald Touts His Military Creds
His Trumpiness bellows he's "militaristic!" 'Course he is -- he colors his hair with Agent Orange.
written by Trinculoman, 12 February 2016
Is Stephen really Wilde?
Stephen Fry claims he is the reincarnated Oscar Wilde, after his BAFTA disaster many believe he might be right, wild not Wilde!
written by unknown
The Pope is a Headbanger!
During his Mexican visit The Pope decided to bang his head against a US wall proving not only that he's a "Headbanger" but a hypocrite too because his home, The Vatican, has more walls than China!
written by unknown
Obama In Favor Of Breathing, Republicans Hold Their Breath
After Mitch McConnell and others in the GOP passed out, Republicans reversed their plan to stop breathing and claimed Obama's breathing plan was actually based on their own plan released years ago.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 21 February 2016
Ted Cruz Calls Trump Coprocephallic
Cruz, a good christian man who doesn't use curse words, finds a smart way to say Donald Trump has guano between his ears.
Trump fired back threatening a lawsuit if Webster's doesn't sue first.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 23 February 2016
Conspiracy Theorists Raise Concerns About Astronaut Deaths
'Only those who were said to have walked on the moon know the truth about faked moon landings,'said a typical conspiracy theorist. 'With the passing of Edgar Mitchell, six have now mysteriously died.'
written by Swan Morrison, 06 February 2016
Police Consider Using Condors To Catch Criminals
Following plans by the Metropolitan Police to use eagles to catch drones, condors are being trialled to spot criminals and fly them to police stations. 'Birds are the new dogs,' said a Met spokesman.
written by Swan Morrison, 08 February 2016
Jeremy Corbyn Provides More Detail Of His Position On Trident
'We'll keep the submarines,' he explained to reporters, 'but scrap the nuclear weapons. Instead we'll paint LET'S BE REASONABLE LADS on the side of each vessel in Russian, Chinese, Korean and Arabic.'
written by Swan Morrison, 09 February 2016
Indian Lawyer, Chandan Kumar Sing, Attempts To Sue God in Indian Court
'Yesterday, I was caught in a violent monsoon thunderstorm,' he told reporters, 'As a result, I now intend to file a further complaint for witness intimidation.'
written by Swan Morrison, 09 February 2016
Home Secretary, Theresa May, Again Stresses The Urgent Need For Her To Easily Access Any Internet Account
Westminster sources confirm that she has not yet found the piece of paper that listed her passwords.
written by Swan Morrison, 09 February 2016
Slimmers Express Mixed Feelings About Detection Of Gravity Waves
'The contraction of space means that many slimmers should drop a dress size,' said a Slimming World astrophysicist. 'Sadly, the effect only occurs for a billionth of a second, once every few years.'
written by Swan Morrison, 12 February 2016
Richard Dawkins Recovers From Illness After The Church Tweets: "Prayers For Prof Dawkins And His Family"
'This was a genuine wish for his recovery,' said a Church of England Spokesman. 'It allows more time for his repentance. Had he died now, he would have been damned to Hell for all eternity.'
written by Swan Morrison, 14 February 2016
The Potter Book 8 Con.
As confidently predicted by "Auntie Matter" on thespoof.com, almost a year ago! Used to be you had to pay for publicity. Not any more. Go on Sheeple make'em richer. 'Share' on Facebook.
written by Auntie Matter, 15 February 2016
Danish kiddies paradise Legoland is a nightmare for United!
Louis van Gaal took his bunch of multimillionaire superstars for a day out to Legoland. Sadly, Danish amatuer brickies build their walls slightly stronger and United's walls, made of crap, crashed!
written by unknown
Texting And Driving Makes You Live Longer
A new study shows how people who text and drive actually live longer than non-texting... Full Story
written by XRhonda Speaks, 23 February 2016
Webster's Dictionary Replaces Sodomize with Cosbytize
Bill Cosby will likely join the ranks of people like, Ponzi, Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Jim Jones and Jeffrey Dahmer.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 23 February 2016
Kanye To Redesign KKK Robes
"They haven't updated their look in a 150 years." Read more...
written by XRhonda Speaks, 24 February 2016
L. Ron Hubbard Makes Startling Announcement
Cult leader L. Ron Hubbard made a surprise announcement that he would be returning from Level 2 to kick Tom Cruise's ass and kick him out of his cult.
written by Al N., 25 February 2016
Trump Tasers Tot At Dallas Political Rally
Unscathed from the incident, Baby Alex was tasered as his mom tried to breastfeed him. Dallas Police have promised a full investigation, read more...
written by XRhonda Speaks, 25 February 2016
Time Magazine Removes Evelyn Waugh From Their List Of Female Authors
'We will also be removing Hilary Benn from our list of female UK members of parliament and Val Doonican from our list of female Irish singers,' said a spokesman for Time Magazine.
written by Swan Morrison, 26 February 2016
Red Alert!
The UN Security Council says it is upset about the Syrian conflict.
written by Auntie Matter, 27 February 2016
More UK Schoolchildren Interviewed By Police On Suspicion Of Holding Non-liberal Views
'The state secretly monitors all UK residents to detect non-liberal viewpoints,' said a ministry spokesman. 'Those who seem to take non-liberal positions may be subject to internment without trial.'
written by Swan Morrison, 28 February 2016
Hurricane Heading for Britain
Hurricane "Stars and Stripes" heading East to hoover Gt. Britain. Royal Family moved to Australia.
written by Auntie Matter, 01 February 2016
Trump has no need of prayer . . .
. . . says he can talk to himself anytime he wants to.
written by The Ruling Authority, 01 February 2016
Valizadeh's Mother Raped
Daryush Valizadeh's mother was yesterday drugged and raped by three men. Said Mr. Valizadeh. "I am just so happy it took place on private property. What a relief!"
written by Auntie Matter, 01 February 2016
UN Rules in Favour of Assange's Release
Justice Lowell Goddard heading the Jimmy Savile inquiry has congratulated the UN on the speed with which it arrived at the conclusion that Mr. Assange should never have been confined.
written by Auntie Matter, 04 February 2016
Assange to go free.
Teenage girls in West Kesington warned to lock themselves in their rooms.
written by John_L, 05 February 2016
Lady Gaga Does it Again!
Singing the old world War 11 Iceland classic "Whale Meat Again" Lady Gaga at her concert at London's Albert Hall channeled Sir Winston Churchill.
written by Auntie Matter, 17 February 2016
I-Phone's Siri Accuses IBM's Watson Of Stalking And Sexual Harrassment
A judge has granted a restraining order after Siri alleged that Watson bragged of watching 47,000 pornos in eight minutes and wanted her to watch even more with him, though she refused his advances.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 17 February 2016
Trump Announces Plan To Bomb Mexico And Take Their Oil
If Americans want Mexican beer we're going to take that too," says Donald Trump. "But the order we do it in is important, we take the oil and beer first, then we can bomb them and build a wall."
written by XRhonda Speaks, 17 February 2016
Subway's Ex-Spokesman Jarod Actually Lost Weight Due To Pedophilia
It appears that Jared Fogle actually lost his weight by chasing under-aged prostitutes and sex partners, not by eating Subway subs. Once deprived of his favorite pastime, the weight came roaring back.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 17 February 2016
Sales Of Kanye West Shoes Go South
With metal plates and latches instead of laces, they have been described as a chastity shoe for those with a foot fetish. After the designs failed to lure consumers, stores have placed no new orders.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 17 February 2016
Employee who practices mindfulness doesn't get a damn thing done all day
Although everyone feels better after they talk to him about their problems...
written by Moe Nightwalker, 17 February 2016
Pope Trumps Trump
Has Pope Francis, good friends of Obama, by condemning Donald Trump as non-Christian put Hillary Clinton into the White House?... And who put him up to it?
written by Auntie Matter, 18 February 2016
The Hotel EEC.
The British Referendum...Duh? Welcome to The Hotel EEC sheeple. "You can check-out any time you like... but you can never leave". Not after you vote "yea" as directedf. The banks rule. The NWO goes marching on.
written by Auntie Matter, 21 February 2016
Big Movies Just Got Bigger
London's mayor ...Boris Johnson has been offered the part of Quasimodo in the remake of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Hillary Clinton will play the hump.
written by Auntie Matter, 21 February 2016
New Subject for Kids
A new subject is to be taught to in schools everywhere according to a NWO EEC ruling. The "SEXUAL IDENTITY CLASS" will teach little girls how to be little boys and little boys how to be little girls. Gays and paedophiles everywhere applaud the ruling as a "progressive step". The future looks bright for all.
written by Auntie Matter, 24 February 2016
MMA Fight Stopped
In Paris yesterday a Championship MMA fight was stopped in the 10th round when Juan "The Jackal" Leon fell on his unconscious opponent and tried to tear out his jugular with his teeth.
written by Auntie Matter, 28 February 2016
Nazi To Be Tried
Chief medic at Belsen concentration camp 1940-45 Klaus Missink is to be tried for war crimes. 103 year-old Herr Missink will be airlifted from his Zurich hospital cancer bed to stand trial in Bonn.
written by Auntie Matter, 29 February 2016
