Who says Jennifer Lawrence is going to play Patty Hearst?
Uh, the studio boss waving the $20m pay check?
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Hollywood power players attend Brian Grazer's pre-Solstice hooker party
So what else is new?
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Daniel Day-Lewis spotted dining with designer Domenico Vericca
The pair might make some comfortable slip-on loafers together maybe for the burgeoning fungal nail disease footwear market
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Sam Taylor-Johnson out of 'Filthy Shades' sequel
Says things getting just too damn grubby and might damage her reputation
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Ben Stiller still moaning that Joan Rivers 'didn't like me' and we never made quiche
Blame the mess he made of quinoa ratatouille for the never ending feud
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Drew Barrymore reads Dr. Seuss when dumbing down
Such downmarket trash, no wonder they say her kids aren't exactly Einstein
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Britney Spears reported taking pre-Viagra to keep up with kids
Uh, make that pre-Algebra!
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
American Apparel wants models, not 'Instagram hoes'
Instagram retaliates, says it wants American Apparel sluts, not models
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Yoga outfit 'said to stretch truth in regards to assets sale'
Sounds like a story about some keep fit fanatic hooker's Spandex gusset bursting just as she's about to blow a John
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Heinz merging with Kraft in $36B deal to create 'global food giant'
Attorneys for Jolly Green Giant Sweetcorn Corp beg to differ, slap lawsuit on Heinz merger proposal
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
SEC chief takes aim at predatory traders in 'dark poos' scandal
Big black shits going down the pan says SEC boss Mary Jo White
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
NY Stock market riggingno longer a conspiracy theory
Tin foil hatter vindicated as insider trading tip stands to make him a cool million bucks
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
De Blasio praises school despite crap test scores
Headteacher demands Hizzoner takes detention for messing up his math grades
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Parents claim nuns cashing in by closing Montessori preschool
Sure, there isn't a decent cat house for at least ten blocks round here, but Mother Superior shouldn't be so damn grasping
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Reports coming in that cops take down NYC commuter train heroin ring
Rumoured replacement said to be the Colorado Springs Weed Line, coming to a subway station near you
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
WTF 'Your subway's late because of a surge in unruly passengers?'
Onion ring-eating grossly obese travellers blocking your commute?
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Top military brass resisting calls to lift transgender shirt
No, wait! that should read 'shirtlitfer ban'.
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Tsarnaevs' terrorism lair 'looked like a bomb site'
Highly surprising, considering.
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Ponzi schemer who stole $60M from independent film king pleads mitigation
Says he was on a Bernard Madoff internship sponsored by Enron
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Head of world's largest uranium producer dies at 44
Rest of body bound to follow soon
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Pennsylvania politician says randy celebrities signed re-election petitions
Blames too much cheap ObamaCare Viagra doing the rounds
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Dozens of sharks spotted swarming around oil rig
That's loan sharks, sniffing blood as news of BP profits tumble goes viral
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
President Obama will host Pope Francis in the Fall
That's the Decline & Fall Of The Holy Roman Empire, guys.
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Drug Endorsement Administration blamed for handling of agents' sex parties with hookers
Should have subcontracted to a DC Madam just like every other government department
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Massive hemorrhoid to whiz past Earth this Passover
God's way of saying enough with the braised brisket and whorseradish source, really messing up the celestial digestion
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Lumber Liquidators slapped with class-action suit that deadly chemical is boring
Uh, correction! That should read: 'class-action suit over deadly chemical in flooring'
written by queen mudder, 26 March 2015
Pope presented with pizza
Causes 'fracas' as topping didn't include mushrooms
written by Ella Davide, 26 March 2015
California Gay Advocacy Group Proposes Ballot Initiative to Allow Killing of Straights
In response to a measure to allow killing of gays in CA, Nigel Reynolds, attorney for the GAG has filed a petition with the California Attorney General, Kamala Harris, to allow killing of straights.
written by Moose, 26 March 2015
