NYC Street Performance Canceled
A homeless vagrant lying in the gutter on the corner of Skid Row & Tin Pan Alley kept an audience spellbound with his entertaining antics - until the police arrested him for indecent exposure.
written by Dick Sheerer, 23 July 2015
Stewardess Of The Month. Period.
A menstruating flight attendant suffering from jet-lag lost her mind and punctured the pilot's eardrum with her hairpin, pierced it into his brain and killed him - just in time for beverage service.
written by Dick Sheerer, 23 July 2015
All Fiorina's Fault
A major earthquake registering 12.9 on the Richter scale struck California from the epicenter located directly beneath Carly Fiorina's bed, and it happened at the exact same time she was having sex.
written by Dick Sheerer, 23 July 2015
UFO In Appalacia
An extraterrestrial UFO crash-landed into a river valley in a remote mountainous region of West Virginia and its crew was kidnapped and sexually abused by a local pair of perverts who died doing it.
written by Dick Sheerer, 23 July 2015
911 Dispatch Snafu Fixed
A rogue dispatcher at the 911 Emergency Response Center in Detroit was arrested and charged with negligent homicide for demanding ransom payments from distressed callers who ran out of time and died.
written by Dick Sheerer, 23 July 2015
Undocumented Alien Invasion
Planet Earth fell victim of a surprise attack by a hostile race of extraterrestrial invaders who seized control by force and have violently sodomized all of the world leaders repeatedly ever since.
written by Dick Sheerer, 23 July 2015
Muckrakers Uncover Crud
A crew of New York City Department of Sanitation workers scraping festoons off the walls of the sub-terrainian sewer system found GOP candidate Rick Santorum hunkered down comfortably in a rat's nest.
written by Dick Sheerer, 23 July 2015
Chris Christie Tours Middle East
Action Hero Chris Christie Soared through the sky near the Syrian border with Iraq and dove down into a heavily guarded ISIS compound with guns blazing and saved the day - until the coward woke up.
written by Dick Sheerer, 23 July 2015
Clarence Thomas On Extended Vacation
Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas made a swift departure from Washington DC with a lynch mob of his fellow justices in hot pursuit. He was stalked to the banks of the Potomac River and then hanged.
written by Dick Sheerer, 23 July 2015
