Republicans Send Letter to Iran Telling Them Obama Sleeps With a Night Light
The Republicans sent a letter to the Iranians reminding them not to make any deals with Obama since he'll be out of office soon and because he used to wet the bed and still sleeps with a night light.
written by Al N., 20 April 2015
Republicans Reveal They Have Evidence Obama is Stockpiling WMDs
Dick Cheney revealed that the Republican Party has proof that Obama is stockpiling weapons of mass destruction and the army should be called in to invade the White House.
written by Al N., 20 April 2015
Netanyahu And Israel Walk Away From Peace Talks
"We don't negotiate with terrorists who won't compromise and don't keep their word,"said Bibi
No one asked a Palestinian representative for comment. Speculation was that it was something like:"ditto"
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Daily Pot Smoker Abstains on "4/20"
Asked to comment, he said, "I wanted the day to be different and special."
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
New Infrastructure And R&D Bill Passes Both Houses With Ease
"This is how America achieved her status as an economic superpower Post WWII. More jobs, new technology,better roads/bridges/water systems/power grids. A no-brainer really," said everyone in Congress.
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Jeb Bush Throws Brother Under The Bus
"I love my brother but the guy was a sh***y f***ing President. One of the worst ever. I'm not like him. I let facts dictate my decisions. He sucked. Everyone knows it. Even his supporters."
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Ted Cruz Apologizes For Fear Mongering, Pandering, Distorting
"I've realized the error of my ways," said Cruz. "I'm running a more sensible campaign now."
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Loretta Lynch Confirmed As New Attorney General
"We thought the highest law enforcement officer in the land was an important position," said Mitch McConnell. "We put it to the floor and confirmed her nomination. It wasn't rocket science."
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
97% of Climatologists Fudged Data, Proven Wrong
As scientific fraud of massive proportions is unraveled, climatologists all over the world 'feel the heat'. "Even the NASA photographs of the Earth's poles were doctored," said an investigator.
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Police Officers Show Restraint, Use Proportionate Force
Recently, a police officer assessed the situation and didn't end up killing anybody. An arrest was made. The perp did not resist and thus was not even beaten up.
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
New Video Game Inspires Hope In Some Parents
"I've heard that in this game your child can pick a character, join up with other characters, and explore back yards, creeks, and play sports outside. Good graphics. Promising," said a mother of 4.
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Groups And Factions Upset Over Harmful Label
"We think the term 'PC Police' is demeaning; an inflammatory label which offends," said some nanny from some stupid advocacy group.
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Yahoo Website Receives Journalism Award
"This speaks to our constant diligence and fact-checking, the talents of our fluid writers, and our straightforward headlines," said CEO Marissa Mayer.
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Large Group Of ISIS Fighters Defect
"We're not so sure about some of the stuff we've been told, both by our holy books and by our commanders and recruiters," an anonymous dissatisfied fighter was quoted as saying.
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Mainstream News Media Eases Up On 2016 Presidential Election
"19 months away and we've been talking about it since Obama was sworn in," said a cable news exec. "We're going to let this thing flesh out for a year or so before we speculate and prognosticate."
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Bush, Clinton Donate 50% Of Their Massive Campaign Funds To Charity & Towards Paying Off The National Debt
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written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Congressional Republicans Praise Administration,Sec. of State Kerry, on Iran Talks
"We don't want Iran to have a nuclear weapon either. We think an incentive agreement which allows the world to inspect and enforce this is a great idea," said a prominent Republican lawmaker.
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
Media Coverage-- About Gays, Gay Marriage, and Feaux-"Religious-Freedom" Discrimination-- Abruptly Ends
"With that subject there's nothing much to report on anymore," said an unnamed AP reporter. "There are bigger more important issues going on in the world. Plus, social conservatives have dropped it."
written by Angelo Thomas, 20 April 2015
