Inhumane Society wants Neiman Marcus 'faux' fur probe
Says too many damn Alsatians are going missing before ending up as fun fur stoles on the catwalk
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Nokia confirms acquisition fucked-up French telecom company
Money for old rope acquistion soumds like a desperate tax saving ploy
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Bill De Blasio defends his decision not to endorse Hillary
Endorsements start at $100,000 and rise thru to $500,000. No IOUs accepted.
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Man standing outside Papaya Dog is stabbed in head with a Screwdriver
Such terrible luck the guy's having, last week he got hit in the chops by a Manhattan, And previously a Bloody Mary.
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Psycho-killer wolverine escapes from New Jersey porn shoot
Lock your pussies, guys, she's got a taste for raw meat
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Woman says she was forced to take the piss in jail cell after drinking 'Bahama Mamas'
Mock my taste in booze and see how I redecorate your jail cell walls
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
UN chief gives Daniel Craig special emission to eliminate mines
The project will commence after mignight, Mr Bond, so it will be a nocturnal emission
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Kendall Jenner goes topless, 'soon maybe headless'
IS Jihadis reckon a spot of beheading is coming next
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Uptight Israeli ultra-Orthodox Jews cut Kim Kardashian from photo
Women don't have a soil in Judaism, besides KK is an old slag in the first place
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Lil Wayne's former driver accuses rapper of threatening to chill him
Dastardly stuff, LW!
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
'Fault in Our Stars' author's Indiana home 'is listing'
Second thoughts, make that 'is being listed'
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
WTF 'The evolution of Emma Watson?'
Jumped up non-entity now a hasbeen as Harry Potter movies become old hat
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Kissing cab hos gobsmacked at inclusion in Clinton campaign vid
Prior arrangement with live porn streaming company throwing up all kindsa copyright issues
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Hillary's father's tombstone razed to the ground
Poor sucker turning in his grave at the idea of Hillary 2016
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
South Carolina abduction thwarted because suspect couldn't shit sticks
Er, 'couldn't drive stick shift'
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
18th-century sex toy unearthed at school of swordfish
Correction! that should read 'at school of swordmanship'
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Exotic dancing spoof discovered in Florida mansion
Sounds like Bargis Tryhol caught pirouetting The Nutcracker
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Incontinence pad used by Pope Francis auctioned off for $30K
Vatican taking da piss with its holy relics program
written by queen mudder, 15 April 2015
Hollywood Buzz Reveals Senator Harry Reid's Next Career Move
Soon-to-be-retiring Reid is jumping into Movie Biz. Word is he's been signed to appear as an arch villain in the next Bond flick. Harry will be portraying Bond's new nemesis, Ernst Stavro Blowwank.
written by Trinculoman, 15 April 2015
Socially Awkward Deduction Worried No One Will Take Her On This Year's Return
...but concerned about being seen as EZ.
written by Jeff Watts, 15 April 2015
Small-Breasted Cocktail Waitresses Demand Income Equality
According to the latest data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, cocktail waitresses with small breasts make 63 cents for every dollar large-breasted cocktail waitresses make.
written by Moose, 15 April 2015
Rand Paul Announces His Approach to Foreign Policy
Candidate Paul asserts in his Presidency US will dispense with all Foreign Policy matters, declaring: "We'll all git out to the holler 'n' brew sum Kaintuck moonshine! Daddy's nutso recipe kicks ass!"
written by Trinculoman, 15 April 2015
