Santa to leave i- presents
Santa can't be arsed lugging heavy toy sacks down chimneys any more..he will leave ''igifts'', to kids with iphones,
otherwise, he doesn't care no more
written by Ella Davide, 30 November 2014
U.S doctors delighted with Drunkenness
Manhattan Medics are about to make a fortune from Pre Christmas 'HANGOVER THERAPY'. Potential Liver Disease is 'Big Business', so get hammered and help your Doctor become a millionaire!!
written by Ella Davide, 30 November 2014
OAPs 'cool', say Teens
A survey of young peoples' attitudes to the Older Generation
reveals admiration: 'Most Granddads play their music, like, well loud ( lost their hearin'aid) and like Tartan trousers ( just like us )
written by Ella Davide, 30 November 2014
Saudi rehab for jihadis offers alternatives to extremism
Mostly bottles of Sharia-compliant whisky plus the odd acid tab
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
gly tree helps Pennsylvania town find real meaning of Xmas
Chopping it down as setting the logs alight only the start of festive fun
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
Pope seeks inter-species dialogue during Thanksgiving visit
Offers turkeys the olive branch if they convert before Saturday
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
Furious Nebraska players erupt after school fires
Heaven knows why they're getting so hot and bothered about a bit of local arson
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
Young philanthropissts gather for Millennial Bull
Young trustafarians hope to shake off that 'spending-Mom-and-Dad's-millions' image with a bit of Millenial BS
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
Voters put off by smug Clinton's 2016 plans
Want to see some public sackcloth and ashes for her marriage to such a lowlife jerk
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
Pyongyang 'princess' gets a preminition
Nocturnal visions predict North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un in need of son-bearing wife about to tear up current prenup and toss it to the dogs
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
Giant alligator bagged by Orlando hunter set to make a fortune
Swanky Upper East Side, NYC, designer shoe company bids half a million bucks for the beast's skin
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
Ferguson Officer Darren Wilson won't get a cent in severance money after resignation
$10m Hollywood life story movie blockbuster maybe makes up for it
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
5,000 of the world's wackiest lawsuits filed against celebrities in 2014
Well how else can an artorney turn an honest buck??
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
Plane evacuated after JFK 'bomb' scare
Luckily it turned out to be a drunken hoax from pissed guy wanting a Mile High Flub refund (don't ask)...
written by queen mudder, 30 November 2014
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE SARAH SWITCHIT VOWS WHITE HOUSE CHANGE
Vowing change, 2016 Presidential hopeful Sarah Switchit said her first order of business would be to square off the oval office.
written by Ray Bellew, 30 November 2014
Thousands Of Russians Take To Streets To Protest Against Health Cuts
Russian authorities say reforms can improve care by concentrating specialists in better hospitals. 'We copied that lie from the British NHS,' said a Russian spokesman. 'Why does no one believe it?'
written by Swan Morrison, 30 November 2014
Special Forces
Contrary to the popular myth, there are people who are not particularly special in the Special Forces.
written by IainB, 30 November 2014
Retailers Announce 'Lemming Tuesday' On Which Shoppers Will Be Encouraged To Jump From Cliffs Into The Sea
'Retailers invented Black Friday to drive shoppers into unnecessary and pointless panics,' say police. 'Lemming Tuesday is even worse - thousands will again mindlessly follow the crowd and be killed.'
written by Swan Morrison, 30 November 2014
Black Friday a Washout As Rain Forces Everyone Into Shops
Black Friday, the festival which should have been a celebration of Soul Music, Reggae, Blues, Nelson Mandela and Diana Ross a turned out to be a washout as rain forced everyone into shops.
written by Auntie Jean, 30 November 2014
Call For Free Hearing Aids As Woman Tries To Make Cheese With Muslim's Bag Stolen From Mosque
A hard of hearing woman shopping for cheese making items stole a Muslim's bag from a Mosque in Chicago this motning instead of the correct item, a muslin bag. Her apologies were accepted.
written by Auntie Jean, 30 November 2014
Alleged Miley Cyrus "Topless" Shot Mislabelled
The much anticipated Cyrus "Topless" pic was released. Close review of the image actually reveals it to be a "No Top-less" shot. Milester needs time at Maxie Boob Reconstruction & Enhancement clinic.
written by Trinculoman, 30 November 2014
Snow,Rain, Hurricanes and Heatwave on the way
BBC Weather predicts that at least ONE of these weather types will occur ,SOMEWHERE in the World, over the next 6 months
written by Ella Davide, 30 November 2014
Ferguson Killing Of A Teenager
Question for police officer Darren Wilson: Would you have left the safety of your squad car to pursue Michael Brown if you did not have a loaded weapon?
written by K.C. Bell, 30 November 2014
