University of Arizona Students No Longer In Line for Good Citizenship Award
Tuczon-After extended hoodlumisn and chaos, the NCAA has removed the U of A student body from eligibility for its annual award for outstanding civic consciousness. Guess now Penn State has a chance.
written by Trinculoman, 31 March 2014
Man in Mississippi Dies After eating MultiVitamins!
He had been on them for 35 years says son. He was 94.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Totals on ObamaCare at this point
Over five million Democrats, two Republicans, ten million illegal aliens!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Jimmy Carter Not Afraid of Putin #2
"I poot any time I want to. Don't even wear a diaper. I'm a wild man!"
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Jimmy Carter Not Afraid of Putin
"It's Brezhnev that you have to keep an eye on!"
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Northwestern Football Players Win Right to Unionize
I bet they can't hire some big brutes to attack them on strike as football players are big brutes also!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Excerpts form Sarah's Speeches #31
"...I think the unspeakable has probably already happened -- it's just that they can't find a way to let us all know by talking..."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #30
"...spending most of our hard working dollars on buying cheap what-knots with labor from Mexico and other islands..."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #29
"...if George Q Bush were still around, Putin would have her shirt put on as Bush ordered, "Put it on!..."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #28
"...when Al Gore acted like Little Chicken with My Head is Falling! My head is falling! It should have fell when the globuler worming didn't work out right..."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #27
"...Please join us in the Teapot Party. We'll perk you up! That's my joke for toady..."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #26
...that was when Neopolitan amounted the French thrown from another Neopolitan, whose was short also..."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Obamacare Enrollment Ends A Lot Like It Began
Not with a bang but a whimper!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Lindsay Lohan Admits 'I've Been Very Close' to Relapsing
"Hiccupp! 'Scuse. Hick!!" "Yep, almost blew it and read lips back"
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Report: Most people suspicious of New Diet Plan
They claim they help you lose weight by losing gravity.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #7
"If Jeb Bush winds up running against Hillary Clinton, I'll pull out that one hair I have left on my head."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
New Jersey: Probe Finds Christie "Blameless" in Bridgegate
"To quote a certain someone, 'It Ain't My Fault!".
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #6
"Rotten eggs float in water because they are lighter than water, or as they say down south, 'Sh*t Floats!'
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #5
"Instead of using all that after shave, cologne and underarm deodorant, I just hang a little pine tree scent down there."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #4
"What's so sexy about Miley Cyrus? Those little knobs of hair on her head make her look like an Ewok."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #3
"Be aware that I saw your silly "Warning Dry Paint" sign. I merely wanted to see if the bench was sturdy. That's why I touched it."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #2
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and gave it a banging with everything I had, even my rear end! Guess it'll think first next time! Somebody bring me a buffer!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Experts Fear 'Earthquake From Hell' ...
As well they should! Yellowstone is the top of huge volcano!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Wisdom From King Rooten Tooten
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have, always drunk on his ass in the yard.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1156
Snoops: Scientists use petri dishes to grow bacteria, algae, cells, Pee Wee Herman and Danny Devito.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1155
Snoops: Chuck Darwin sailed around the world in a boat & became very seasick. Returning, he stated that he had come from monkeys. Later, he stated he actually said, "I'm sick as a barrel of monkeys."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1154
Snoops: You cannot make a great Margarita without a great avocado slice.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1153
Snoops: The first recorded version of calling Thursday "Little Friday" was in the book, "Robinson Crusoe"
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1152
Snoops: It was Martha Washington, our first First Lady who coined the term, "I need to go see a man about a dog".
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1151
Snoops: The United States is thinking about importing dung beetles to help take up excess in cow pastures and big mound of bullshit in Washington DC.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1150
Snoops: There is only one diamond mind in the United States and the Government owns it...and everything else for that matter.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1149
Snoops: The Grandfather Clock got it's name from a song about a "Grandfather Clock".
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Diet drink danger: Possible link to heart risk in older women, study says
Especially those 90 and older!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Where did the Social Security debate go in Congress?
Boomer: They are holding out, since they spent all we put in, until they get disease that only affect 62-plus citizens.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Senate panel says torture didn't help U.S. in hunt for Osama bin Laden: AP
Although some people would call the feather tickling torture.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Today in History #9
Longest strike in Major League Baseball history ends, 1995. Most fans thought it had just been a seventh-inning stretch a little longer than usual!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Today in History #8
North and South skirmish like Dimwits in Court House, 1865. Sorry, that should read: North and South skirmish near Dinwiddie Court House, 1865.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Today in History #7
Abigail Adams urges husband to "remember the ladies", 1776. "Remember you have a lot of beeping to catch up on."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Today in History #6 (part 2)
In 1968, President Lyndon B. Johnson stunned the country by announcing he would not seek re-election. I did not kill JFK!!!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Today in History #5
In 1968, President Lyndon B. Johnson stunned the country by announcing he would not seek re-election. "You beep beep wouldn't know a good president if he beeped you on the beep! Kiss it!"
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Today in History #4
In 1949, Newfoundland (now called Newfoundland and Labrador) entered confederation as Canada's tenth province. (or 10th & 11th, according to if Labrador has since been retrieved).
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Today in History #3
In 1914, Nobel Prize-winning Mexican poet In 1914, Nobel Prize-winning Mexican poet In 1914, Nobel Prize-winning Mexican poet Trini Lopez was born in Mexico City. Sorry, that should be Octavio Paz.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Today in History #2
In 1889, French engineer Gustave Eiffel unfurled the French tricolor from atop the Eiffel Tower, officially marking its completion. It was the last thing he did before falling.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Today in History
There are 275 days left in the year. This only happens once in every year!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
'Royal' Couple Allegedly Claimed Welfare and Food Stamps While Living on $1.2 M Yacht
Also, many who are paid to help people sign forms signed up for welfare themselves.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Low-cost Dominican surgeries spark warnings by US
However, many going to other countries for medical treatment. Don't believe government warnings.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Another ObamaCare Mix-Up
Already over 1,000 people signed up to receive an appendix.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
In Kentucky, Obamacare's success did nothing to change the politics of the law
"We still can't get insurance because companies movine out of state, no one can fill out policies with it constantly being changed.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
4.8 mag quake shakes Yellowstone National Park...
One thing about it, if this blows we'll forget all about Obamacare, illegal aliens, even Final Four!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Elton John to marry longtime partner...
"We slipped up and he's pregnant!"
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Palin: Shake old baldy in Russia up a bit
"Fire a warning nuclear weapon across his ships."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
POLL: Bush beats Obama by 23 points as commander-in-chief...
Obama hasn't even landing aboard a ship for a speech yet. Doesn't even know how to pronounce "nucklar".
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
North, South Korea exchange fire across disputed western sea border...
Doesn't this happen everyday since 1950s?
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Police Arrest 2 Volunteers Signing People Up For Obamacare; Charged With 'Soliciting Unlawful Business'
Several judges ready to call ObamaCare cases unlawful under constitution.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Huge food spread for Obama visit
TABOO: Photos taken inside King Abdullah's desert retreat sparks controversy.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
On eve of deadline, health law remains work in progress...
We still can put it off until 2016 so no hurry. Waste of time if GOP wins.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
872,504 ordered removed by immigration authorities have not left...
"Just hang on until the President gets back from latest work/vacation and he'll legalize us!"
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
ICE released 68,000 convicted criminal aliens last year...
No one knows how long they had been frozen or what planet they came from.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Not Just Cow Flatulence!
While nutrition experts encourage eating fiber, Government to ask us not to overdo it.
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
L.A. Still Shaking
Over 100 young men with low pants suddenly show their ass!
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
Putin invites Pope & Obama to lunch in the Crimea!
Putin has invited Obama & the Pope for lunch in the Crimea and promised to spoil them with best Beluga caviar hoping that he will be blessed by the Messiah and his rep, very fishy!
written by unknown
Cameron & Obama enjoyed a 'joint' meeting!
Last weeks nuclear meeting in Holland, gave Cameron & Obama the opportunity to have a "joint" meeting. It seems they felt the "Iran weeds" were slightly overpowering and preferred Afghanistan poppies!
written by unknown
Angela Merkel wants United to beat Bayern!
Angie Merkel hopes United stuff Bayern because it will then prove the fact the Uli Hoeness is a born loser!
written by unknown
Juan Mata admits he is a dwarf!
United record signing,Juan Mata, had admitted he is "muy pequino" and started life as a dwarf, but through his teenage years turned into a Leprechaun. Ireland hope he changes his nationality!
written by unknown
Mob hitman turns Las Vegas tour guide.
"Now right over here is where Vinnie garroted that pig, Bill the Pill."
written by Bureau, 31 March 2014
