True Facts From Snoops #1135
Snoops: The "Boy Named Sue" lived to be only 30 years old after he lost a knife fight to a guy named, "Goody Goody Gumdrop!"
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1134
Snoops: Long time checkers champion James Elliot of the Madisonville Nursing Facility admits to using steroids!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1133
Snoops: Former President Bill Clinton Ring Tone is Hillary shouting: "You Better Leave It Alone!"
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1132
Snoops: Some people with very religious views, like Jews and Islamics, won't eat with a fork!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1131
Snoops: Many clouds have different names like Stratus, Puffy, Cumulus, Bad-Looking and Circus.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1130
Snoops: Wilbur Wright was the first person to sit on a cushion that was also a floatation device.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1129
Snoops: During the V.P. debates between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden, Palin used the word "Snot!" 24 times!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1128
Snoops: Colonel Sanders was allergic to at least three of his secret spices but took a shot.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Karoke means "empty orchestra" in Japanese.
Where here in the U.S., it means stagger toward the door before you're too drunk to leave!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
In the early days of the telephone, operators would pick up a call and use the phrase, "Yello!".
It wasn't until 1895 that someone suggested answering the phone with the phrase "number please?" which was sometimes misunderstood as asking their weight.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
That's enough walking that if you stretched it out in one line, you would walk around the world 5 times.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.
If that means you'r afraid of the dentist drill and needle, I got that bad!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
The second most popular name is Muhammed.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored day for self-destruction.
Right before work ever starts for the week. I can understand that.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Search On For earth-Like Planet
We need elbow room and wouldn't hurt to borrow some more money there.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
PETA For Cow Rights
PETA has come down strong on country leaders blaming cow flatulence for pollution! "Cows have been farting since creation!"
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
White House looks to regulate cow flatulence as part of climate agenda.
That's it! Lay it on the cows! China can't see itself fart for smog but it's the cows fault!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Los Angeles has more than 100 aftershocks after Quake!
"Right now they think Michael Moore was here filming and his belly keeps shaking!", says fireman. "We need to find him. Christie is out here too? Ho Boy!"
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Sandusky's wife shifts blame for verdict to today's kids: 'All they think about is sex'
So I guess poor old Sandusky is a victim of these young sex monsters? Could have caused a heart attack. (Next phrase booed out of hearing.)
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #23
"...thus Washington and his troupadors surprised the British by secretly boating across the frozen river by night..."
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #22
"...the Vikings were here long before Columbus as they have found a mound of their horns of plenty in Minnisoda...."
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #21
"...the discovery of Viagra came about when a man in a lavatory went perpendicular..."
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #20
"...in the 1960s you heard a lot about "Power to the People", a radical grope wanting alternating energy..."
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #19
"...The Pee Pot Dome Scandal was started over a circumcision gone wrong.."
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
I wonder how many calories you burn up doing both off and on.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
That's why their breath smells so bad!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Plus 75% of those hate each others country and/or are at war with each other.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
A snail can sleep for three years.
He usually awakens with, "Ho Boy do I need some coffee and to take a leak!"
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
The average person laughs 10 times a day!
However, a gibbering idiot will laugh about 300 times, often over the same joke.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
So don't feel too sorry for those young men turned to pigs by witches in fairy tales.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
But you have to be careful that you don't drown.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1127
Snoops: A crocodile can't move its tongue and cannot chew. Its digestive juices are so strong that it can digest an anvil.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1126
Snoops: People from Southern Japan bow much slower than their Northern Japanese neighbors!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1125
Snoops: Notorious bank robber, John Dillinger once escaped from a county jail using a using a fake gun he whittled out of a fruitcake.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1124
Snoops: Bill Clinton wore note on his back during his campaigns so he would remember, "It's the economy, Stupid". He'd forget to replace on front. In fact, he was kicked in the ass 9 times by mistake.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1123
Snoops: A noted theologian says that there never were any such thing as a Sea Scroll, dead or alive!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1122
Snoops: Although every kid in school once knew about Johnny Appleseed, few ever heard of his brother down south, Jimmy Kudzu.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1121
Snoops: Holes in the middle of billions of cheerios serve the same purpose as doughnut holes & once discarded chicken wings: To trick you out of your money!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1120
Snoops: Due to Global Warming, all recipe books will have to be revised as it will take less time to heat.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1119
Snoops: In book, Bob Dylan says that the one song he wished he had written was, "I Heard It Through The Grapevine". "Hits for Marvin Gaye, Gladys Knight, CCR & a giant TV commercial brought millions!"
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Couple Encouraged By Donations Restaurant
Wilsons say they get more money since no prices on food. People paying more as they leave, drop cash into box. "This will help us to go broke over a lot longer time", says owner.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
"My other The Car" Marathon Weekend Here!
All three episodes will be played over and over.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Increased Phone Chatter Reported By CIA
Even higher than usual peak as teens leave school.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Mafia Death Suspected in NYC
Victim apparently choked to death by dental floss while brushing teeth.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Today in History #8
1795 - Beethoven (24) debuts as pianist in Vienna. Critic: "A complete flop. Fingers like sausages.(in Vienna)."
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Today in History #7
502 - King Gundobar of Burgundy delegates royal power. Lives rest of his life a wino!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Today in History #6
Tom Jones is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II, 2006. "I'll always love that "What's New, Pussycat" she is quote as saying.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Today in History #5
Miramax chiefs part ways with Disney, 2005. Argument still continues over Donald Duck wearing pants.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Today in History #4
In 1973, the last United States combat troops left South Vietnam, ending America's direct military involvement in the Vietnam War. They left in complete victory, cheered on by the South Vietnamese.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Today in History #3
In 1943, World War II rationing of meat, fats, Oreos and cheese began.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Today in History #2
In 1882, the Knights of Columbo was chartered in Trenchcoat, Connecticut.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Today in History
In 1638, Swedish colonists settled in present-day Delaware. Plans to celebrate feature three firecrackers.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Arrested after 1 day on FBI's Top 10 list
"I guess I'm one of those one-hit wonders, says Criminal #10!"
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
UN panel: 8 reasons to worry about global warming
However, since there is no such thing, others offer 8 reasons to doubt it.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Magnitude-5.1 earthquake shakes Los Angeles
Two this week. Is there a bigger one on the way?
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Monk fails Mantra Test
For the 100th time in a row, a monk can no longer keep saying his mantra once he hears the complete version of "Black Betty".
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
A cat can jump from the twentieth floor and live!
However, he will be flat-footed until the day he dies.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
A Monk invented champagne
Also, the first chips were made by a monk slicing potatoes. He was called the Chip Monk!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
Nutmeg itself consists of 60% nut and 40% meg.
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters
Plus two numbers, an asterisk and a hiccup!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
Gingrich's Plan to Stop a Solar Flare Apocalypse.
We can reflect it using a giant mirror!
written by Bureau, 29 March 2014
