Sen Harry Reid Awarded Highest Recognition by National Group
Natl. Association of Inveterate Falsifiers has given the Senator their Dissembler Imperator Award for 2014. Though it was a close contest between him and Nancy Pelosi, Reid deftly fibbed the final.
written by Trinculoman, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1118
Snoops: There is a population of radioactive wild six-legged women in several European countries, caused by Chernobyl disaster two decades ago. You cannot outrun them and they are vicious!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1117
Snoops: From 1790 to 1800, the capital of the United States of America was Kansas City!.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #18
"...I'm not too out of it yet. Today's music isn't mine but I do like some Wrappers like Snoopy Dog & Charlie Brown..."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #17
"...Admirals Huey, Dewey and Louie sank the whole Spanish Armada in the Bay of Pigs..."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #16
"...The French evolution of 1789 actually started several year later. Many were burned at the Steak!..."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1016
Nearly one third of New York City public school teachers send their own children to home schools.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
FT: Best of times making way for the worst.
New Slogan: "This is a good day to see if we all die!" Fire all we have in a massive first strike and get it over with."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Putin plans for Crimean casinos.
Oh please do. The Muslims will love that.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
ONLY GOD KNOWS: OBAMA, POPE DIFFER ON ACCOUNTS OF 'SOCIAL SCHISMS' TALK.
And the pope is infallible so guess who's lying?
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Spike in Israelis denied entry into USA.
Also those in leaving after they recall what happened to Hitler, Haman, Herod, Pharoah & Egypt, etc.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1115
Snoops: Never never order a cob salad in the South as you don't know what that cob has been used for.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1114
Snoops: In his original draft, William Shakespeare had Juliette's name as Wilma!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1113
Snoops: Howdy Doody had a twin named Double Doody who used to serve as a stunt dummy during the show.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1112
Snoops: One good way to keep your kids off cigarettes is the first time they are caught, force them to smoke a dozen exploding cigars. Also, it's funny as all get out!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1111
Snoops: In the early Batman comics, his boy wonder side-kick was The Willow Warbler!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1110
Snoops: Al Gore predicts that the number one greeting in the future will be "Hot enough for you?" Advises followers to buy Chaffin powder.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1109
Snoops: Houdini's first escape was from a runaway Amish buggy in the early 1900s.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1108
Snoops: Dick Van Dyke and Dick Van Patton are actually half-brothers!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1107
Snoops: Jimmy Carter admits that he exaggerated his Southern accent when running for President because he needed the southern vote. "That's why I attended the debates with a straw twine my teeth."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1106
Snoops: The reason people first poured their hot coffee in a saucer wasn't so it would cool when they blew on it but because they might could hold out both pinky fingers for proper etiquette.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1105
Snoops: Always keep one eye on the road & one on your surroundings while driving, we are told. But there's a problem. It can lead to becoming cockeyed. Many begin to look like Marty Feldman by age 35.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Gay Athlete Announces He's A Heterosexual
Gay Professional Ping Pong player announced today that he's actually heterosexual.
written by Elise Kim, 28 March 2014
A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night.
This has led President Obama change his vacations at least three different times.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
Many in the United States complain that they don't even sell "Coca-Cola Per Capita" here or they haven't found any on the shelves.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.
Many women say they also smell stronger!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
Less intelligent have more dandruff and lint.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Antarctica is the only one!
Antarctica is the only continent without reptiles, snakes and people trying to sell you a time share there (as of 2012).
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
That means that if you like several envelopes you're probably feeling bloated!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
U.N. General Assembly condemns Russia's actions in Ukraine
"Putin is shaken", according to source. "That's how hard he's laughing."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
. Million Jars of Peanut Butter Dumped in New Mexico
Company says they cannot leak into soil. The same guys who argued that they were safe to begin with!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Polar Vortex This Year?
Santa sends word that he is not to blame, as does President.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Congress votes "No!" to Presidents Plan!
"That covers any he proposes. Well, it's off to Hawaii to loaf around there instead of here", says hacked message believed to come from Dems.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #14
"... This would not happen on George P. Bushes watch! He ran Sodom Insane out of the oil fields of Kiwi & Sandy Arabia!.."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #13
"...remember Orange Julius Caesar was killed by his best buddy, saying "Brutus, you Judas!" and do not turn your back on no one elses!"...
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time: 1/100th of a second.
So any time you hear anyone say it, they are lying like a dog! (Wonder where 'lying like a dog' comes from?)
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
Film company had to hire a stuntman to eat a carrot for the scene!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance.
This was the biggest blooper since the giant cigarette was seen lighting fuse on Flash Gordons rocket!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear trousers.
Donald later sued, pointing out that none of their own ducks wore anything at all!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
Percentage of people who wanted to know about this: 2%.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Prince Charles Announcement
The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II, which moves only six inches for each gallon of fuel that it burns, may become a hybrid.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Carjacker foiled by inability to drive stick
"After all, it was only my second try", claims society's victim!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Found Third Time & Different Place This Week
Search area for Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 moved almost 700 miles after "credible new lead"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Obama: Russia needs to "move back those troops"
"Or Key West will be full of paratroopers in no time."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Today in History #8
W.C. Handy-the "Father of the Blues"-dies, 1958. "Ah Yesss! The Blues man. Very Handy."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Today in History #7
Reactor overheats at Three Mile Island, 1979. Heavily protested in Japan but protesters reassured by Guv. that it could never happen there.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Today in History #6
Land cleared for Ford's Will It Run plant, 1941. Sorry, that should be "Willow Run Plant".
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Today in History #5
In 1990, President George H.W. Bush presented the Congressional Gold Medal to the widow of U.S. Olympic legend Jesse Owens. Thus causing Hitler to spin in grave like Tasmanian Devil!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Today in History #4
In 1943, composer Sergei Rachmaninoff died in Beverly Hills, Calif. Wasn't he the one they named the noodle dish after?
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Today in History #3
In 1914, U.S. Senator and Secretary of State Edmund Muskie was born in Rumford, Maine. Lets have a good old time in remembering Muskie tonight. Drink a toast for Muskie, or whatever.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Today in History #2
In 1854, during the Crimean War, Britain and France declared war on Russia. How different things are today in our enlightened world!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
Today in History
On March 28, 1939, the Spanish Civil War neared its end as Madrid fell to the forces of Francisco Franco. Just in time as World War II started!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
STUDY: 1 In 4 Car Crashes Involve Cellphone Use..
People on other end of call traumatized, deaf.Don't use phones while driving!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
House of Representatives Capitol Cloak Room Fun Revealed
An insider tells us that one of the most amusing pasttimes enjoyed by the Republicans on the House Oversight Committee is throwing darts at a board plastered with the mug of Lois Lerner, IRS mum face.
written by Trinculoman, 28 March 2014
Secretary Kerry's Schedule is Interrupted by a Sudden Trip to Asia
Enroute to Ukraine, Kerry diverted his plane further eastward to land in Ho Chi Minh City. Apparently, it was time for his Viet Cong handlers to reprogram the electronic modules that run his brain.
written by Trinculoman, 28 March 2014
Hillary Presidential Campaign Makes Notable Announcement About Bill's Job in a Hillary White House
Making the most Bill's expertise while President, he will be in charge of screening prospective White House interns. Naturally, he will make extensive use of The First Member in this critical role.
written by Trinculoman, 28 March 2014
VP Biden Gets His Latest Mission from The Boss
Obama called on the Hot Line to direct Ol'Joe to the southern Indian Ocean to search solo for the wreckage of Malaysian 370. He was also ordered not to return to DC until he had found Amelia Earhart.
written by Trinculoman, 28 March 2014
Different Versions of Obama's Audience with Pope Francis Reported
Rome-Pres Obama claimed that Pope encouraged him to ramp up income redistribution. Pope Francis was more pointed: "I told His Highness to stop f*cking with religious freedom and leave the nuns alone!"
written by Trinculoman, 28 March 2014
Supreme Court Proceedings Were Delayed Today Due to the Absence of An Associate Justice
US Top Court grinded to a halt, cuz Justice Sotomayor was absent this AM. Turns out she was ensconced at a Taco Bell scarfing down new Taco Waffles by the dozen with her binge-buddy Kirstie Alley.
written by Trinculoman, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1104
Snoops: Before painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo spent two months taping it off.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1103
Snoops: The term: "Sitting tall in the saddle" originally was an insult. It meant that the rider had a big ass!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1102
Snoops: Charlie Brown of the comic strips mother's maiden name was Blockhead.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1101
Snoops: Every person has a unique tongue print. So there's no use in you trying to say that that was some other kid who stuck his tongue to the frozen meter.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1100
Snoops: The youngest pope was 79 years old.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1099
Snoops: Another coincidence between the Kennedy and Lincoln assassinations is that each had a brother-In-Law with a wooden toe.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2014
