Obamacare deadline delayed over concern website could fail
After all, it has happened a half dozen times before.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Obama chides Russia on gay rights
Putin ready to move in on still another country!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
More than half of uninsured don't know health care law deadline is looming
That's because they keep changing the stupid date!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
CIA Say Cockroaches in Putin's Ear: Blow the whole planet up!
"We'll keep you safe and make you the leader of the new Cockroach Earth!"
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Dems ask Obama to make no stupid moves.
Putin is just trying to get in some laughs at your expense so don't kill us all!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
DEMS Count on Pot to Pump the Polls.
Both sides are going to need plenty of pots with all the crap they're dishing out.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1087
Snoops: Delilah's last name according to some recently found scrolls, was Hotsy Totsy!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1086
Snoops: Crafty Claude is the only known person in America that opened up a school for professional beggars!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1085
Snoops: If life gives you lemons, don't dare pucker up because the homeliness woman/man in the world will make a beeline toward you!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1084
Snoops: Our word for "baloney" gets its original name from the German work for "baloney".
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1083
Snoops: Due to accidents at food processing factories, the American public have eaten at least 10,000 fingers and toes.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1082
Snoops: Some wives take advantage of husbands with alzheimer by telling them twice a night that they haven't had sex in a week.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs - it will let you go instantly.
Both halves of you at the same time!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Man Frantice Over Pizza Coupon Expiration
A Dayton man was frantic today after he discovered his "totally excellent" pizza coupon expires Thursday, a day before he gets paid on Friday. Stated the man "coupons should expire on Mondays."
written by Catchthisdrift, 26 March 2014
Chris Christie has lost 100 pounds!
That's a really big loss, especially for writers on The Spoof, as we need all the fat jokes we can get.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
New Cold War Could Stop Global Warming
With a couple of nuclear summers could return us to better times. That is, for those that survive.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Today in History #6
F. Scott Fitzgerald's first novel, "Ho Ho Ho & All That Jazz" published, 1920
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Today in History #5
McCarthy charges that Owen Lattimore and Francis the Talking Mule are Soviet spies, 1950.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
Her Uncle, Bryant Winger, invented the flying bicycle used in the same film.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
"That's nothing. We have an old goat lady over in the hollow yoy can smell two days away!"
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Obama: Russia can't 'run roughshod' over neighbors
Tea Party: If you cut off it's head, the rest of it will die.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
NJ considers tax on weed to pay for roads.
Georgia group trying to mix marijuana with kudzu, could have a fortune in no time if successful.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Ukraine's spy dolphins switch allegiance to Russia.
But sharks still loyal as Ukraine urge them to eat spy dolphins!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Terror grips Ebola-hit west Africa.
Why hasn't the U.N. ben working on these. This could spread rapidly and all we are doing is arguing politics, running over small countries and rewriting health policies.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
No Wonder We're A Mess
The President today announced that there has been a fake FBI group in the United States for the past four years. "I guess we now know why everybody knows."
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Facebook Continues on Its Frenetic Acquisition Spree
CEO Zuckerberg today announced his latest addition to FB's asset pool,paying $7 bil for Navel-Vision,a Valley start-up which produces belly button embedded TVs. Navel-gazing will never be the same.
written by Trinculoman, 26 March 2014
Arab League rejects Israel as Jewish homeland
Israel: We are so surprised that they would feel this way about us...not!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.
This was discovered by a Think Tank in New York only last year.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
A fact that proved the guilty verdict of the serial killer, Nutty Nancy!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.
And Twinkies! Almost forgot they came back. Twinkies and Honey!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Today in History #4
In 1989, the science-fiction TV series "Quantum Leap," starring Scott Bakula as an errant time-traveler, appeared on NBC. Then disappeared!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Today in History #3
In 1937, a 6-foot-tall statue of the cartoon character Popeye was unveiled during the Second Annual Spinach Festival in Crystal City, Texas. Many began shouting "The Eighth Wonder of the World!"
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Today in History #2
In 1874, poet Robert Frost was born on a cold foggy day in San Francisco.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Today in History
On March 26, 1964, the musical play "Funny Girl," starring Barbra Streisand as Fanny Nice, opened on Broadway.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Secret Service pulls 3 agents from Obama trip
Three agents say he tripped over his own big feet!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
NFL Bans Goalpost 'Dunking'...
Also spinning football like a top, over dancing, jumping into crowd all after touchdowns. Pointing after a first down and crowd cheers.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Sen. Sessions: Obama has made 'dramatic nullification' of immigration law...
"This will all have to be changed back."
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Artificial protein to supercharge immunity? #3
Company who purchases supercharge protein will supercharge the price for it.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Artificial protein to supercharge immunity? #2
Drug companies say it would put them out of business.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Artificial protein to supercharge immunity?
Just in time as Ebola case may have detected in Canada.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
China sells bottled air to tourists...
United States may begin exchanging pure water for oil in Arab countries.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Police Force Woman To Make Bowel Movement In Yard During Raid.
Another freedom lost. This time it's crapping where YOU want to crap. Forefathers probably didn't clarify that enough.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Girl kicked out of school for dressing like John Boy!
I'm sorry, that should have read: Girl kicked out of school for dressing like tomboy.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
PEW: Next generation will be over 50% non-white...
U.S. may give Wyoming to Poland.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1081
Snoops: The main reason Santa Claus never visits the South Pole? He's afraid he would become by-polar!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1080
Snoops: The actor with the most Oscar nominations? Woody Harrelson!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1079
Snoops: In Norway, 200 minutes on a stationary bike produces enough energy that some hotels give you a night free, free breakfast buffet & the maid will help pull you out of bed the next day.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1078
Snoops: The Dalai Lama has an older brother named Rama Lama, Ding Dong!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1077
Snoops: Bow and arrows were around thousands of years before Robin Hood. At first they were known as "Thingy Flingers".
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1076
Snoops: The Grand Canyon is 18 miles long and one mile deep. It usually floods about twice a year.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
MAG: Who Gets Sued When Robot Car Crashes?
Both company who built it or individual who bought it or company that sold it. Sounds like a few years in court.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Professor: 90% of News Stories to be Written by Computers by 2030.
This is an exaggeration....Hal #7.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Russia seizes 51 Ukrainian ships in Crimea...
West still wringing their hands!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Supreme Court Wins Award
The ugliest group of people ever to serve in that office!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
White House extends deadline again; To rely on 'honor system'...
FLASHBACK: We Lack 'Statutory Authority' to Extend Deadline to Sign Up for Obamacare.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Health law penalizes 'wrong' insurance 18 times more than no insurance...
any better off laying funds aside for medical emergency or buy $10,000 deductible for big emergencies. Doctors discount cash because of little paper work.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Duke could soon be a duchess
HRH The Duke of Edinburgh has refused to comment on rumours that he is currently undergoing hormone treatment on the way to becoming a woman. The 90 year old Prince is tired of being a consort to Liz.
written by whatinthe world, 26 March 2014
Sean Hannity Tones Down; Retracts
Reports: Fox News Pundit And Radio Talk Show Host Sean Hannity--Recently Humbled By Fact-Checkers--Walks Back Yesterday's Statements
written by Angelo Thomas, 26 March 2014
MSNBC Pundits: All Over The Map
Reports: MSNBC's Prime-Time Pundits Offer An Array Of Differing Opinions And Stances On Tonight's Big Issues
written by Angelo Thomas, 26 March 2014
U.S. Senate Tidbits
Reports: Ted Cruz Rumored To Have Done or Said Something Low-Key Without Reporters Present
written by Angelo Thomas, 26 March 2014
Congresswoman Bucks Trend
Report: Michele Bachmann Publicly Says Something Rational And Based In Fact
written by Angelo Thomas, 26 March 2014
Supreme Court Rumors
Reports: Justice Antonin Scalia Consults With Clarence Thomas About How To Convincingly Contradict His Own Prior Rulings
written by Angelo Thomas, 26 March 2014
At European Summit Chancellor Merkel Berates Obama for NSA Spying
Obama was unwinding in his room, trying to lessen jet lag, when Angela Merkel burst in demanding that US return all digital images of her in flagrante sessions with French gigolo Francois Hollande.
written by Trinculoman, 26 March 2014
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen months
Then, even though he had totally changed his appearance, the mob got him!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Japan Still Waiting
It's been over a year since nuke spill and as of today, it still hasn't created any superheroes!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better than men.
Or at least men pretend that can't hear as well.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
A Starfish has no brain!
Just ask SpongeBob about his friend Patrick. No brains.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!
But they still may pretend not to hear you. Heads up in the air. Snobs!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine
It still had a 50% cure rate simply because people believed that it did.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Never Reach The End!
You can never reach the end of the rainbow as it moves as you do. Stupid Leprechauns!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Record Low Bank Robberies Last Year
Ron Paul: That's because Obama has put all the crooks in top positions in the U.S. Government.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Lots of Friends And Family Cheer
As local man, Harvey Grubb, runs up a Mountain of Debt in record time!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
It's March Madness Time!
Both Obama, Merkel, Cameron and Putin still in Final Sweet Sixteen!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Al-Qaeda Suspected
As 50 pit bulls released at Postal Employees Convention!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
Food Channel Hopes To Capture Bigger Audience
Beginning April 14th, The Food Channel will feature Live Jello Wrestling, Bambi Versus Delilah!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2014
