COPS: Drunk Motorist Wearing Pants As Shirt When Found Passed Out At Wheel
"He didn't know which end was up!"
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Harry Reid Suggests GOP to Blame.
For what? "I don't know but whatever it was they were ll talking about outside." "It's not his fault."
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Vatican Spokesman Says Obama Anti-Christian.
Vatican Chief Justice: Obama's Polices 'Have Become Progressively More Hostile Toward Christian Civilization'.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches #2
"You notice that this President never goes anywhere near trouble, such as the Suey Canal or even in Bangladingle. To me, that is a coward."
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Excerpts From Sarah's Speeches
"Before Custard lost the Battle of the Biggest Horn, he had helped Union Workers defeat the Rebels in Mississippi."
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Few Casualties After Colorado Pot Sales
Thus far, the first three weeks of legal marijuana has contributed to only 150 deaths. "They said there would be thousands! How does that number suit you, Numbnuts?"
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Micro-SD Card Forced to Face Reality
In a heart-breaking turn of events, a micro-SD card learned the hard way yesterday that size really does matter. Said the card "I'm just as many gigabytes as these other guys! It's just so unfair!"
written by Catchthisdrift, 24 March 2014
Today in History #5
In 1939, "The Hound of the Baskervilles," Sherlock Holmes movie adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's famed detective, premiered in NY. Leading 100,000 boys to find 30,000 condoms hid about the house.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Today in History #4
In 1832, a mob in Hiram, Ohio, attacked, tarred and feathered Mormon leaders Joseph Smith Jr. and Sidney Rigdon. The first act, Abe Vigoda on a unicycle!
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Today in History #3
In 1832, a mob in Hiram, Ohio, attacked, tarred and feathered Mormon leaders Joseph Smith Jr. and Sidney Rigdon. Smith and Rigdon then skipped any other punishment by flying away.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Toady in History #2
In 1765, Britain enacted the Quartering Act, requiring American colonists to provide temporary housing to British soldiers. Before they left, they had the family drawn & quartered.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Today in History
On March 24, 1989, the Exxon Valdez ran aground on a reef in Alaska's Prince William Sound & began leaking an estimated 11 million billion trillion gallons of crude oil according to Greenpeace.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1066
Snoops: Trigger, Roy Roger's horse, count not only count by stamping his feet, he could out yodel Roy!
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1065
Snoops: The average lifetime of one of those seven-year bulbs? Two years and six months in tests.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1064
Snoops: Don't believe that old chestnut about a man being so fat they had to bury him in a piano case. Actually, he was buried in a time capsule.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1063
Snoops: Sharks do not have any bones. So if there is shark "bones" at an Aquarium you're visiting, demand your money back. What they have is cartilage, so call it bones & see if they correct you.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1062
Snoops: Some human beings can hear their eyeballs moving, especially after a couple of Denver's Mile-High Specials.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
VICTORY: Chris Christie down 100 pounds since lap band surgery.
"Only 200 more pounds to go!"
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
REPORT: Homeland Security Exercise Targets Online Dissent.
Could give the President a bad name. "A lot of us already have a bad name for the President", says one protester!
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
More Snow Predicted for Northeastern U.S.
Global Warming once again rears it's ugly head!
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1061
Snoops: One day, Thomas Edison had his 100th attempt of inventing the light bulb. Just as he thought of it, he reached up and got it from balloon over his head!
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
France Faces Recall
10,000 pound of genetically modified Horse meat has been recalled in France after horse found in Meat Loaf!
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Runaway Elephants Pose Hazard!
Runaway Circus Elephants Damage Cars Near St. Louis, one couple courty in back seat had to be cut out by jaws-of-life crew.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Jimmy Carter believes U.S. is spying on him again
"Just before you came in for the interview, I had to stomp one before it ran under the couch."
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Two more colossal pharaoh statues unveiled in Egypt
Also, a rare upside down pyramid!
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Downed Plane?
Australians, Chinese, Americans, Russians, Britain and France spot objects in Indian Ocean.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1060
Snoops: Before birth control, many couples for many years use the old reliable green banana and armpit.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1059
Snoops: Soaking beans for ten hours will reduce farting by 50%. So if you eat gassy food while on a date, ask the head chef how long did he soak the beans.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1058
Snoops: Milton Berle's nephews & nieces called him, 'Aunt Milty' because of all the dresses he wore when he came to visit.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1057
Snoops: After over 100 years of study, New Scotland Yard has discovered that Jack the Rippers real name was Mack the Kipper.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1056
Snoops: A Great White Shark can eat as many as 18 gorillas, should they be stupid enough to stay in the water.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops: #1055
Snoops: At one ecologically concerned French Hotel, having sex three times a night can provide enough energy that you get one night free.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
POLL: 40% say political divide good.
40% say that it is not. Other 40% can't tell their ass from elbow. "Math is not our best subject."
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Obama aide: 'Possible' Russia could enter America
President: I just hope we're on vacation somewhere else.
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
U.S. Spy Comes Home From Russia
"Putin's after something big. He's got about 50 big statues of himself in the works."
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
South Dakota Passes Law Arming Teachers
"It's that funny looking thing back there in the closet", says 78-year-old Miss Puckered. "They call it a grenade lobber or something...Launcher, that's it!"
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
New ABC Reality Show!
Man with complete amnesia asks couples to name him! Who and what name will he choose?
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Serial Killer Just Like Rest of Us!
Next door neighbor: "He'd come home from work, we'd have a beer and some food and he'd come over and we'd go kill some people."
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
Jimmy Carter uses snail mail to evade NSA
"He's a cute little feller too. But boy is he slow!"
written by Bureau, 24 March 2014
