Family Finds Nasty Surprise In Cornflakes Box
A family from Gloucester have spoken of their shock and distress after opening a box of cornflakes from their local supermarket and finding inside a live, fully-grown, adult crocodile.
written by Darwin, 21 March 2014
Study Finds Humans Have Only Four Facial Expressions, Not Five as Previously Thought
Fifth one wasn't a true one as it was man who got hung up on tall electric barbed wire fence while fleeing bull.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Hillary Clinton Called Monica Lewinsky "Narcissistic Loony Tune"
Bill: I agree. I took too many sleeping pills and she took advantage of me sleeping in the nude on the desk.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Airplane Still Missing
Those objects in the water were only Amelia Earhart and D.B. Cooper.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
NRA caught spying on IRA
NRA: We have to. The FBI and CIA are spying on us and we can show them the stuff we got on them. James Bond cracks up!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
New Poll Released!
Findings: Top .01% pay up to .02% of all taxes!!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Woman admits throttling husband!
Tells Judge, jury that "Remember, it takes two to strangle!"
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
U.S. Citizen May Be Put On Drone Hit List
Hackers say they have been given DNA of White House, Congress in case an innocent American hit by drone.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Huge boom in cigarette smuggling.#2
Even bigger boom in explosives smuggling!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
NSA Hacks Networks Through Administrators' FACEBOOK Accounts.
"We'll get around to bugging our enemies once we get through here."
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
MICHELLE O: Human rights are off the agenda.
That's their tough luck to be born in China. Wears red to meet Chinese official.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1028
Snoops: The worse place a guy can place a condom is in his billfold in his back pocket. You are supposed to place it on your penis.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1027
Snoops: The IRS has a secret booklet showing how one of their agents can get blood from a turnip!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1126
Snoops: Baseball great, New York Yankee slugger, Mickey Mantle's real name was Agamemnon Cristofori.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1125
Snoops: The "D" in stern John D. Rockefeller, the world's first billionaire, apparently stood for Dinky!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1124
Snoops: The first person to make a lot of money off old comic books was the inventor of the "Sea Monkeys".
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1123
Snoops: The scientific term for a human being tearing their own hair out by the roots is called "a hissy fit".
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Police in Detroit Out of Yellow Tape
"We're now using red tape", says officer. "We have enough of that to tape off the city."
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Another Recall at GM!
This time it's for faulty air bags with holes. "One pursuing $25,000 says that he wrecked and it sounded like an elephant farted in the car!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
New for Lloyds of London
Kim Kardashian insures her rear end for $1,000,000!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
On This Day #4
In 1994, at Academy Awards, "Schindler's List" won 7 Oscars, including best picture & best director for Steven Spielberg; Tom Hanks won best actor for "Philadelphia" while Chuck Smith won "Best Boy"!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Today in History #3
In 1871, journalist Henry M. Stanley began his famous expedition in Africa to locate the missing Scottish missionary David Livingstone Seagull.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Today in History #2
In 1804, the French civil code, or the "Code Napoleon" as it was later called, was adopted. To this day, no one knows the real parents.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Today In History
On March 21, 1685, composer Johann Sebastian Bach was born in Eisenach, Germany, to the tune of Bach's Lullaby.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze
That's to keep from saying what they really want to say to you, 'turn your head, idiot!'
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Scientific breakthrough!
nytime you lick a stamp, you get half a calorie. Prestick stamps may earn Post Office a Pulitzer Prize in medicine.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Guy caught humming current song as he works, fined
Song was copyrighted and you must pay company for the humming.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
First lady Michelle Obama and daughters arrive in Beijing
Along with Michelle's mother, President's 100 sisters and sisters-in-law.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Could Citizens United and a semi-colon undo Obamacare?
Or what's left of ObamaCare. Many still cancelling policies or just not paying for them.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Putin: no need for further retaliation against US
"I've embarrassed myself enough."
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
STUDY: Humans can detect one trillion smells.
And the most offensive today are coming from Washington. Like of privacy stinks!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Gates Foundation attacks private colleges and universities for opposing massive student data collection by feds.
Students: We never thought our privacy would be taken from us by the left.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Growing number of children developing drug-resistant infections.
Many suspect it's the mandatory shots they receive at school have created superbugs immune to treatment.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Pentagon goes hypersonic with long-range rapid attack weapon
New hypersonic can reach targets at superspeed. Takes need for more aircraft carriers out of the picture.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
U.S. Government Setting Pattern
Private citizens making deals with Chinese millionaires.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Obama ladies touch down in China amid taxpayer uproar.
These ladies need a vacation a lot more than silly things going on in Crimea, Russia, Middle East. Let's put our borrowed money where it counts.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Huge boom in cigarette smuggling.
Also in the cigarettes that contain tobacco.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Missing Aircraft Blackout
No more news will be broadcast about the missing Malaysian aircraft due to millions of people turning off their television sets after non-stop coverage for days on end.
written by j.w., 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1122
Snoops: If a cat lands on it's back instead of its feet, it will quickly flip over, glance to see if anyone was watching, and crawl away in a low position.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1121
Snoops: Seven-Eleven Stores got their bit start when the first owner got hot at shooting craps!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1120
Snoops: Flapping your arms up and down while on a plane to try to save gas will not get you a discount on a plane. It will get you in hot water once you land, however.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1119
Snoops: The most common name for a woman in America is Pat. Oddly enough, it is also the most common name for a male.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1118
Snoops: The first five Presidents of Transylvania College in Lexington, Kentucky were all found dead in a pile of bones. Police suspect spontaneous combustion.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Bert Already Asking For Annulment of Marriage to Ernie
After an all out Punch & Judy type fight that kept neighbors up all night.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Couple find $1,000,000 in Confederate money
Plan to build a time machine back to 1862.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
John Deere Recalls Lawnmowers
During a lightning storm, they could start up and try to find their way back to the dealership, mowing down everything in it's path. Other than that, should be safe.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
US Lawmakers still laughing at Putin
"He's more of a big loud fart than a pootin", says guy behind chair.
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
New Drug Derived From Red Wine Could Help Humans Live to 200
Especially if they have a couple livers preserved on standby!
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
Philosophy Professor Gets $5 Million Grant to Study Immortality
"If I'm right, I'm going to have to stretch this $5 Million out over a lot of years!"
written by Bureau, 21 March 2014
