True Facts From Snoops #1105
Snoops: Singer, songwriter Paul Simon says that the song that he wished he had written? "Snoopy Versus The Red Baron".
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1104
Snoops: Pope Francis favorite reading to relax after a busy day? Acme's Big Book of Limericks!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1103
Snoops: Before 1970, all beer bottles had "The floor may be closer than it appears" on the bottom.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1102
Snoops: Human beings fall out of their beds an average of six times during their lifetimes. Just ask an actuary.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1101
Snoops: While the ostrich eye is bigger than it's brain, many American mothers tell their children, "your eyes were bigger than your belly!" when they take out too much food.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
The movie "Noah" is definitely Not an adaptation from the Bible,
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that Noah cussed a blue streak and kept throwing off extra rabbits.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Latest Leak From Edward Snowden
The latest leak from Edward Snowden was when he pissed himself when Putin pointed at him this morning.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Third Straight Year of Record Low Tornado Activity.
Will you shut up before some of those things hear you?
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Moscow Warns West it May Change Stance on Iranian Nuke Talks.
Israel says that sounds like they have the "Go Ahead!"
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Principal Fired Over "Speak English!"
"How was I going to decipher all those curse words?"
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Vast Majority of Lottery Players Didn't Win Latest Jackpot
The recent $400 million Mega Millions jackpot was not won by nearly all the people who bought tickets. There was no media flurry around any of the losers. "This isn't so exciting" said one non-winner.
written by Catchthisdrift, 19 March 2014
Astronomers Close To Confirming Big Bang Theory
'We are examining microwaves produced at the time of the Big Bang that are now arriving on Earth,' confirmed Professor Brian Cox. 'We now await the predicted arrival of fridges and washing machines.'
written by Swan Morrison, 19 March 2014
Heavily Armed Police Storm Man's Home Over Life-Sized Gun Shadow
"That was a shadow of my privates when reflected on the wall as I was taking a bath. Now every old women in the neighborhood will be dropping by!"
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Putin Promises to Bring Back Gory for Russia!
I'm sorry. That should have been "Glory".
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
PRESS BAN DURING MICHELLE O CHINA TRIP.
The "Transparent" presidency strikes again!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1100
Snoops: At his last hearing for freedom, Charles Manson could only peep and poop!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1099
Snoops: The one thing that the late mystery writer Joe Hillerman wanted was to talk to Tonto. I hope they're doing that now.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1098
Snoops: The state of New Mexico will take a vote to see if it wants to change its name to North Mexico!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1097
Snoops: The Pileated Woodpecker's taste buds are in its pecker.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1096
Snoops: Nine out of ten women who run "Welcome Wagons"f forget to say goodbye.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1095
Snoops: Many hamsters and most Kennedys can only close one eye at a time, especially at bars.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
China Invasion
A brawl in a McDonalds restaurant in Beijing got the following response from the White House. "This sort of thing must stop or we will have to invade China."
written by Auntie Matter, 19 March 2014
Russian President Calls For Fart Attack On US
Vladimir Putin has ordered a fart attack on the United States. President Obama has promised to retaliate to this with the help of the UK, by sending the biggest farts they have.
written by Rodeorigo, 19 March 2014
Bill Clinton: Vladimir Putin is one smart Russian
But there had to be one out of that many people.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Today In History #8
In 1953, the Academy Awards ceremony was televised for the first time; "Jack & The Beanstalk (Abbott & Costello)" was named best picture of 1952.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Today In History #7
In 1918, Congress approved daylight saving time. Since that time, no amount of daylight has been saved.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Today In History #6
In 1687, French explorer Rene-Robert Cavelier, Sieur de La Salle - the first European to navigate the length of the Mississippi River - drowned while trying to improve the chamber pot.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
School Tells Boy Bullied Over My Little Pony Lunchbox to Leave It at Home
Back this morning with "Barbie's Ken" lunch box!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
President Calls Out Putin!
You can have the old Soviet Union again but if you don't stop there, we will have to say a bad word about you in the U.N.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Dr. Oz says he never actually talked to the dead
I just had a really bad gas problem and I had to have an excuse for the smell.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
D? ??'s Simple T?ick To Melt Off 1 Lb of F?t a Day
It's the old: Trampoline/Pogo Stick chestnut!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Toyota in U.S. settlement over unintended acceleration
Which, as we all know", never happened!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Crimean forces take Ukrainian navy HQ
Ukraine not real sure of US support. White House: We'll call a special meeting. "Not My Fault" the key word mentioned.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Malaysia: Files were deleted from flight simulator
Now the UFO Groups are getting in on the search!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1094
Snoops: Most religious cross themselves on an elevator as it skips floor #13!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1093
Snoops: No one by the name of GORE has ever been President of the United States!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1092
Snoops: The most popular tourist attraction in America: The world's Largest Ball of String now in Kansas!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1091
Snoops: Of all the toilet paper, a new poll shows that "Finger-Proof Charmin" is number one!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1090
Snoops: Alfred Hitchcock's last words were. "And now still another word from our sponsor!"
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1089
Snoops: The most missed question on College Entrance Exam? "Where was the Battle of Bull Run" fought? Most answer: "Pamplona, Spain!"
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
2.6 mag in Brentwood is 11th aftershock.
Not a lot known about L.A. faults but Hollywood sign now spells "OLLYWOO".
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
REPORT: Obamacare premiums about to skyrocket.
Another million to cancel insurance policies?
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
IRS: Worker took home personal info on 20k employees.
Most reveal thousands are ready to go postal at any time.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
RNC chief: Party to win 'tsunami' of victories...
Dems are doomed if they follow Obama/Carter weak backbone policies.
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Putin Promises to Bring Glory back to Russia.
Glory doesn't last too long under chemical, biological and nuclear weapons!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Robot Snowden promises more revelations.
Just as soon as I can make some juicy ones up!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
Giddy Up Thar Miss Beulah
An Amish buggy is being sought in a hit and run. Police are looking for a black horse with one hell of a bruise on its side.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
Simple Meow's Ain't Gonna Cut It
Most cats know when they are about to be neutered and will emit an ear piercing sound that rivals that of a crazed banshee giving birth to a 16-pound baby.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
Like A Moth To A Flame
Moths are not really attracted to the flame as the cliché states. They are actually attracted to the smell of roasting marshmallows and wieners.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
A Fruity Subject
700 years ago oranges were actually purple and were known as purples.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
Say Monique, What's That Smell?
Up until September of 1962, elderly women in Paris wore hats made totally out of cabbage leaves.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
Finland Had Second Thoughts
Finland outlawed the vowel E in 1958, but reinstated it back in 1960.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
But The Moo's Sound The Same
Most cows have 4 stomachs except those in India, which only have 3.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
Edward "The Nosy" Snowden Strikes Again!
Edward Snowden says he knows the phone numbers and social security numbers of everyone living in the United States.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
Vice-President Joe Biden Is In Poland To Reassure The Allies
Meanwhile Sarah Palin is told to stay in Wasilla and keep her mouth shut.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
Some Amish Do Use Electricity
An Amish Internet site reports that it gets about 17 hits a week.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 March 2014
Inspired Guamanians Plan to Annex Hawaii
Strongly motivated by the actions of Thug-in-Chief Putin, the united citizens of Guam plan to annex the Hawaiian islands as part of their territory. Said Guamanian Gov Palm Frond, "Oahu's mine, mano!"
written by Trinculoman, 19 March 2014
Polish President Hastily Redirects An Exuberant Vice President Biden Offstage
Warsaw- Biden's appearance with the Polish Pres seemed to be going well till Ol'Joe uttered: "Hey, have you heard the one about the three Pollacks?!" The VP was quickly ushered away for a "time-out."
written by Trinculoman, 19 March 2014
Israeli Prime Minister Extends Offer to Obama
Tel Aviv-In view of the current international scene,PM Netanyahu sent an invitation to President Obama for an extended stay at a desert Kibbutz, where even the females quickly grow a set of cajones.
written by Trinculoman, 19 March 2014
Scamatology Will Use Super-Powers to Find Malaysian Plane
The Church of Scamatology said that they realize that they're the only ones that can find the missing Malaysian airliner. They will use their OT super powers but will need cash donations first.
written by Al N., 19 March 2014
Arctic blast headed for East may be coldest start to spring in 50 years.
Birds, bees and flowers seen moving further south!
written by Bureau, 19 March 2014
