Big Banned.Theory
Under new noise abatement laws in the UK, the universe wouldn't exist. "It's that big bang," whispered Simon Lent, head of the UK Noise Abatement Society. "It was too loud, wasn't it?"
written by IainB, 11 March 2014
Uli Hoeness admits being a Schweinkopf!
Bayern munich director and tax cheat, Uli Hoeness, has admitted being addicted to German Bratwurst! To finance his habit, he smuggled his black money to Switzerland and turned it into Weisswurstchen!
written by unknown
Supreme Court sides with boobs
On Monday, the Supreme Court ruled that junior high and high school students have a right to study boobies, with only Justice Clarence Thomas dissenting. They also have the right to free condoms.
written by Gee Pee, 11 March 2014
Griffith Park murderer charged with multiple counts of murder
Gabriel Campos-Martinez was arrested and charged with six counts of murder, one for each of his boyfriend's body parts (head, hands, penis, and feet), which he allegedly dumped in Griffith Park.
written by Gee Pee, 11 March 2014
California dodges bullet
After surviving a 6.9 earthquake, California officials say they were lucky: "We dodged a bullet." However, God assures the Golden State that He hasd plenty more ammo left.
written by Gee Pee, 11 March 2014
Nevada to Lower Drinking Age to 12
Nevada Governor, Brian Sandoval, announced today that Nevada will lower the legal drinking age in Nevada from 21 to 12.
written by Moose, 11 March 2014
Man Attacked With A Bowling Ball
His assailant told police the reason was because he left his knife back at his apartment.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 March 2014
Parents Warned That Phone Addiction Could Damage Bond With Their Children
Thousands of California parents reply, "Well duh...that's why we bought them the friggin phone in the first place."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 March 2014
Belgium Says The Brussel Sprouts Are Fine
Producers of Brussels Sprouts state that the traces of mercury recently discovered in their product is no big deal.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 March 2014
Drug-Laden Drone Found 'Hovering' Near A Prison
Willie Nelson is asked if it's his and he replies, "Well now that you mention it I am missing one of those suckers."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 March 2014
Venezuelan Doctors Stage A Protest
Instead of the standard tongue depressors, doctors are using their index fingers.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 March 2014
