Fox News' Bill O'Reilly Asserts His Plan for Defense of Ukrainean "Folks"
O'Reilly announced that he will lead a team of mercenaries to Crimea to "kick ass on Putin and defend the Ukrainean folks!" Asked when he was going, O'Man ranted unintelligibly from his limo window.
written by Trinculoman, 01 March 2014
Taylor Swift Running Out of Men to Date
Serial dater Taylor Swift, who has been out with every man in Hollywood and written songs about them, announced that she would be holding a lottery to pick her next song victim. So far, no takers.
written by Al N., 01 March 2014
Ashton Kutcher and Charlie Sheen to Have Fight to the Death
Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher will both appear on the final season episode of Two and a Half Men in a fight to the death. "This is one time Sheen won't be 'winning!'" Kutcher was quoted as saying.
written by Al N., 01 March 2014
Muslims warned in Fatwa not to live in Marsden
"There is no godly reason to live in the scenic Yorkshire village" warns a Muslim leader
written by Patrick Parkinson, 01 March 2014
Vladimir Putin holds Emergency meeting to discuss more ways to Piss off the Rest of the World
The Russian leader decided more time was needed to brainstorm ways of getting under the Western world's skin. Amongst their suggestions was hiring thugs to beat up Kate Middleton.
written by Patrick Parkinson, 01 March 2014
Putin Claims Incursion into Crimean Ukraine is Simply A Search for Lost Bear
Russian Thug-in-Chief Putin noted in a press release that the "search parties now in the Crimea are only looking to recover my lost teddy bear." He claims those nasty Ukrainean nationalists stole it.
written by Trinculoman, 01 March 2014
Senator Harry Reid Awarded Pinocchio Maxima Recognition
WashDC- Veritas Institute has given Sen Reid(D-NV)their highest award, the Pinocchio Maxima, for unprecedented lying in the public arena, citing his claims that all those hurt by ObamaCare are liars.
written by Trinculoman, 01 March 2014
WTF? Vulnerable astrologer with phobia of Phobos...
...found RIP face down with Mars Bar stuffed down throat?
written by queen mudder, 01 March 2014
