True Facts From Snoops #1216
Snoops: Every year, Japan draws two feet closer to California. Each say the other is moving!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1215
Snoops: Peregrine falcons can fly at 117 MPH. So whatever you do, don't get between it and it's prey.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1214
Snoops: Sloths are the slowest mammals on earth, next to Congress and the House trying to pass a bill.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1213
Snoops: Monkeys have tails but apes do not. That is the reason Darwin claimed men came from apes. Me, I think we came from Manx cats!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1212
Snoops: The only zebra that ever won the Kentucky Derby was "Chain Gang Buster".
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1211
Snoops: A Sasquatch in Minnesota says that all white & black men must be eliminated. Indians are fine as they respect them.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1210
Snoops: Archaeologists estimate that over 100,000 pre-historic men died while making a flint head for a spear. Often the flints would spark and set the hairy guys in hairy clothes on fire.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1209
Snoops: The secret to the reason glow sticks glow is that's the way the company made them.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Running For Office
Despite he was caught with other women than his wife, shot three people to death in a bank robbery and gave our military secrets away, man says he's still running for office.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Navy's newest weapon kills at seven times the speed of sound
Don't even have time to say, "What is that?" before you're dead.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Al Sharpton: I'm a cat, not a rat. I was fat!
Being accused of being a mob informer. Continued with "I'm on the mat. No time to chat! Where's my hat?" Being taken to secret mental institute to hide from old enemies.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #60
He who has no enemies is intensely disliked by most of his friends who talk about him behind his back, saying "He can bore a radish to death!"
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #59
When you're trying to decide something don't overdo. Do what you like. People criticize it anyway. Like marrying Hotsy Totsy for her looks. Bless her heart, she's in there studying for her blood test.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
A New Bill O'Reilly Book is Rumored to be in the Works
New York-Rumors abound in publishing circles that a new O'Reilly book is in process.Entitled "The Day Bill O'Reilly Died," it is a joint effort by Bill Maher and Rachel Madow & Chris Matthews of MSNBC
written by Trinculoman, 08 April 2014
Light on Mars is Marlsboro!
A white light spotted on Mars has been confirmed as a Martian cowboy lighting up his favourite ciggy, a Marslboro.
written by unknown
Russia warns of civil war in Ukraine #2
Also several other countries that might need our help!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Russia warns of civil war in Ukraine
Just as soon as we can get one going!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Fisticuffs Fly in the Ukrainean Parliament
After a provocative speech by a Communist,the Parliament erupted with Nationalist and others duking it out. Rather than Special Forces US should send Schwartzenegger, Stalone, & Willis into the fray.
written by Trinculoman, 08 April 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #58
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. Will Rogers said that. Apparently he never got into the barrel with the monkeys. Funniest thing I ever did. You can clean up later.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #57
Try to live your life one day at a time. If you try taking it two days at a time, you'll strain something and you can't have children. It could even screw up the whole universe.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #56
A person has learned much who has learned how to die this day. That comes either from the Germans or the Klingons. Pity that your learning much cannot be passed on just because you're dead.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Wisdom From King Rootin Tootin #55
A well balanced meal to me is a fried chicken leg in each hand and one in my mouth. Same goes for doughnuts!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Wage Difference Hits White House Rhetoric
GOP/Dems need to clone Reagan, John Kennedy and let them take 4 years at a time.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
CBSNEWS: WH 'Roughed Up By Its Own Pay Equity Rhetoric'.
Dems criticizing women not being paid same as men for same job & it turns out that they don't either!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Masters of Interrogation
A Doctor of Law and Criminology attending a graduation ceremony surprised by the third degree.
written by Adam Click, 08 April 2014
Donkey Basketball Season in 2015!
ESPN Sports have announced the formation of a six team Donkey Basketball season next year between major sports.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Number One Fundraiser? Donkey Basketball!
Close call, but Donkey Basketball beats Dog Hockey!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Jesse Jackson Sends Away TV Cameras: Demands Privacy
"I will hold a Press Conference and announce why", he tells reporters. "That's at 11AM Eastern time, 10AM Central."
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
"Noah" Screen Showing Called Off in Britain Due to Flooding
No giant boats were needed but there was plenty of mopping up to do after a flood forced a British theater to call off a screening of Noah.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Additions to Hot Air Balloon Races
The first Lawn Chair/Helium Balloon Race will take place this year at the Hot Air Balloon Races in New Mexico!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Russia warns of civil war in Ukraine
All 1,000 of our spies there in the riots tell u the same thing.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Drug boat found in California near popular Malibu-area beach
Washington: Proposal for eliminating building of drug boats being considered. "Without Drug Boats, there would be no problem", says Nancy Pelosi. "Probably sailed from Seattle."
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
STUDY: US children getting heavier.
Note to Michelle Obama: If they won't eat healthy, promote an exercise class for all schools.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
STUDY: US sees sharpest insurance premium spike in years.
Many dropping insurance altogether. Pooling funds or Looking for lower-priced cash doctors.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #15
1973 Artist Pablo Picasso died at age 91. He was buried in a cube.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #14
Explorer Juan Ponce de Leon claimed Florida for Spain. Later eaten by a gator while searching for the Fountain of Youth.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #13
Bartolomeo Prignano elected as Pope Urban Blight VI.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #12
1093 - The new Winchester Cathedral is dedicated by the New Vaudeville Band.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #11
Elizabeth Bacon Custer is born in Michigan, 1842. Later told press that husband always like to stand while lovemaking.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #10
McCarthy publicly attacks Owen Lattimore, 1950. The short slugfest lasted ten full minutes as others chaired them on.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #9
Confederates rout Union at Battle of Jane Mansfield, 1864
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #8
John Adams arrives in Paris to replace Silas Deane, 1778. Deane stayed in Paris, commenting, "So many beautiful women here."
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #7
In 1994, Kurt Cobain, 27, singer and guitarist for Nirvana, was found dead from an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound. In Ca, Gaston Lyle showed friends how it was done accidentally shot himself.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #6
In 1988, TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart resigned from the Assemblies of God after he was defrocked. The organization hoped the defrocking would keep him from prostitutes.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #5
In 1946, the League of Nations assembled in Geneva for its final session, having achieved their mission of world peace!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #4
In 1935, FDR signed the Emergency Relief Appropriations Act, which provided money for programs like the WPA. The WPA built thousands of roads from community to others still used by pot farmers today.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #3
In 1904, Longacre Square in Manhattan was renamed Times Square after The New York Times. To be changed to ABC Square in the near future as newspapers disappear? "The Times They Are A Changing."
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History #2
In 1820, the Venus de Milo statue was discovered by a farmer on the Greek island of Milos. For years he used her for a scarecrow!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Today in History
On April 8, 1864, the United States Senate passed, 38-6, the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution abolishing slavery. Working for low minimum wages is still in force.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Presley alive
Previously thought dead, legendary rocker,Elvis Presley, has been sighted working in a wheat silo north of Augusta, GA. When approached, he downed tools and sprinted for the nearest hamburger joint.
written by whatinthe world, 08 April 2014
Tora tora tora
A band of Japanese wrestlers have overtaken a small farming village in Iceland in protest at the lack of any supplies of saki. One of the wrestlers bit the ear of a local hotelier to make an example.
written by whatinthe world, 08 April 2014
House Speaker Boehner Grilled by Megyn Kelly on FoxNews
Maulin' Megyn poked and prodded Boehner on IRS Select Committee, possible contempt citation for Lois Lerner, and status of immigration reform. His Speakership was relieved to escape without a wedgie!
written by Trinculoman, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1208
Snoops: Americans in Vietnam called the Ho Chi Min Trail, The Yellow Prick Road!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1207
Snoops: Mankind has only searched 5% of the oceans. No wonder they haven't seen a mermaid yet.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1206
Snoops: The worlds population is now over seven billion, give or take one or two!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1205
Snoops: Most dogs born in Switzerland not only bark but yodel!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1204
Snoops: In Greek Mythology, the Centaur was half horse, half man and half penis.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1203
Snoops: A foal born with a horse mother and a zebra father is called a zorse. Where a giraffe and a horse is outlawed because it could win the Kentucky Derby by a neck.
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1202
Snoops: If you weigh 100 pounds on earth, you would weigh 236 pounds on Jupiter. So, better stay home, Lard Ass!
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1201
Snoops: In 1977, a man in New Jersey invented a light bulb that would last forever. However, after 3-4 hours it went out. "Ah", he said. "But it is still there!"
written by Bureau, 08 April 2014
