True Facts From Snoops #1335
Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1334
Snoops: Almost 50% of all public libraries have a nutjob in the back telling strangers about their ancestors.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1333
Snoops: Dinah Shore stole an old Indian phrase "See the USA in your Chevrolet!" which came from the Chippewa.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1332
Snoops: Most shopping cart ladies look down on the other street people who only carry shopping bags.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1331
Snoops: Scientists still cannot figure out why people don't hold conversations on an escalators.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1330
Snoops: Sweet Basil, used in many pasta and soup recipes has announced that it will be introducing "Diet Basil" before Thanksgiving.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1329
Snoops: The number of car accidents has started to really climb as the Boomers hit 60-70 years old and refuse to wear adult diapers.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
More States Going to Prescribed Marijuana
Doctors offices, clinics, etc with huge line of people with arms in slings, head bandaged or on crutches.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #20
1924 - "National Barn Dance" premieres on WLS Chicago. Unless you were too old, young or afflicted, everybody in America barn danced.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #19
1919 - French assembly decides on 8 hour work day with one hour allowed for either lunch or romance.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #18
1911 - George Bernard Shaw's "Playing With Fanny" premieres in London. I'm sorry. That should be "Fanny's First Play".
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #17
1892 - Charles Duryea takes 1st American-made auto out for a spin. Gets speeding ticket for 25 MPH.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #16
1775 - Minutemen Capt John Parker orders not to fire unless fired upon. Then forgets and fires at squirrel.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #15
1770 - Captain James Cook 1st sights Australia. "Would you look at the size of those rabbits?"
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #14
1524 - Pope Samuel Clemens VII fires Neth inquisitor-general French Van de Buddy Holly.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #13
607 - Comet 1P/607 H1 (Halley) approaches within 0.0898 AUs of Earth. World ends!
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #12
Air Force pilot cited for bravery, 1967. Rough landing on one wheel and one foot. Afterwards known as "Flintstone Jones".
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #11
Older Paul Revere goes dotty & warns Boston for the first time, "The Polish Are Coming!" After a few times the towns citizen go hiding as joke. Never knew which country was coming but hide & giggled.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #10
Jefferson sells servant to Madison, 1809. Servant says he will only work for Madison until 1865, and only as tying bootlaces as Madison too fat.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #9
Wyatt Earp dropped from Wichita police force, 1876. Town tired of him shooting off his mouth, theirs.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #8
The Captain and Tennille bring wedded bliss to the pop charts with their first hit record, 1975. Since divorced. Captain always bald under cap.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #6
Branch Davidian compound burns, 1993 Truck bomb explodes in Oklahoma City, 1995. Seems to be a connection here.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #5
First blood in the Civil War, 1861. Lady making U.S. a flag hits sewing hand with needle.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #4
Soviet clowns lampoon U.S. foreign policy, 1949. Sadly, there's only one clown in Russia today.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #3
Baltimoreans attack Union troops, 1861. Many old ladies beat Brit soldiers over the heat with parasols. Kids with slingshots. Boiling oil poured from rooftops splatter both sides, themselves.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History #2
The American Revolution begins, 1775. As Brit and Yank fight it out outside a tavern.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Today in History
First Boston Marathon held, 1897. Three of 200 finish, mostly because of long pants chaffing.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Colorado deaths stoke worries about pot edibles...
Spokesman: It's the crap these people eat with the pot that's dangerous.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Audits less than 1 percent of big partnerships...
It takes a lot less time to audit little guys, poor people and we can read them new IRS laws from Washington
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Tiny Towns Purchasing Big Tanks
Just in case there's a small disagreement between Washington & the states.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
NIKE rocked by theft of large cache of 'extremely rare' sneakers...
First group made by 10-year-olds somehow stolen from locked area.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Astronauts: 'Blind luck' only reason asteroid hasn't destroyed major city.
Coincidentally next asteroid may be called "Blind Luck" Comet!
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Orange production hit by disease, juice prices soar.
Why not just list whatever is fit to eat? It would take less time.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Egypt's gay community fears crackdown...
You'd think that the crack would be up but I guess this way works also.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
4/20 Easter Sunday Holiday Brings Surge Of Tourists To Denver.
Eggs to have the wildest colors yet!
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Obamacare site vulnerable to 'Heartbleed' bug.
Probably already affected by all the trouble they are having. At least it hasn't affected The Spoof yet. Cock-A-doodle!
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Looming, creeping landslide splits home in Wyoming.
Told to land away from general landing area. Updates later.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Looming, creeping landslide splits home in Wyoming.
Probably jars loose with all the earthquake happening around the world, just like the snow avalanches.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Pentagon develops ocean-floor attack robots.
Robots are coming into every part of population. What do we do when they learn to build their own robots?
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Ukrainian Jews Seek Extra Security After Anti-Semitic Incident.
This usually precedes a war so we should be on guard for another one.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Mumps Outbreak at Colleges, Grumps Elsewhere
An outbreak of Mumps has hit universities. Several 'Old' diseases creeping back.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
Vatican Closes Down Miracle Response Units (M.R.U.s)
Fifty Miracle Squads are to be closed from January 2015 due to loss of laundering revenue. Changes in Laundry rules have forced laundering to be done by nuns. Miracle numbers will be issued by phone.
written by Auntie Jean, 19 April 2014
Bagless Mc.Dyson Secretly at Work in Wales to Rid the Country of Old Bags and Boilers
Bagless Mc.Dyson is secretly working on a bagless Welsh ladies' handbag to rid the country of bags. The handbag uses a car battery, but the contents float weightlessly. Boiler elimination is next.
written by Auntie Jean, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1328
Snoops: George Washington did not wear wooden teeth. His teeth were those of fallen soldiers who were shot while they were flossing.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1327
Snoops: First female Islamic basketball player has signed with the University of Tennessee. She will wear a full burqa at all games.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1326
Snoops: Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds and a few other players agree to have wax figures of them in the Baseball Hall of Fame with needles stuck in their ass.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1325
Snoops: Secretly it is said that the U.S. has traded five nuclear bombs to Japan for all our debt removed. No one knows which President came up with that idea.
written by Bureau, 19 April 2014
