'We, the People, Are Tired of the Federal Government Ruling with an Army!'
Americans Coming down on rancher being attacked by own government. Citizen soldiers are hard to drive out. Ask the Iraqis.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Harry Greed?
Democrat Leader Harry Reid Getting Obliterated on Facebook.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Obama Says Biden Will Go Down as One of the 'Finest Vice Presidents in
Most people are asking: Who is he talking about? That Ed McMahan looking guy with the jokes?
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Miley Cyrus Remains Hospitalized in the ITU
Attending physicians have kept the Milester in the Intensive Twerking Unit in order to scan for and diagnose the root cause of her particular malady.Per the leading Doc:"She may need a butt implant."
written by Trinculoman, 17 April 2014
National Institute of Abhorrent Behavior (NIAB) to Study Cable News Anchors
Boston-Dr. Felix Noodlesorter of NAIB received a LooneyToonery grant to study the behavioral traits of those who anchor cable news shows. Prime subject for scrutiny is Wacky Chris Matthews of MSNBC,
written by Trinculoman, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1303
Historians now believe that Johnny Appleseeds Cousin, Jimmy Horseshit had just as much to do with spreading the apple trees as Johnny.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1302
Snoops: Basketball star Larry Byrd's last name was actually Byrdseed. Fan: He could really fly up and down that court.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1301
Snoops: Abraham Lincoln Lincoln's wife was very small. She told friends later after his death that he'd often have her talk during sex so he near for a fact that it was her down there.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Armed robber was never told to report to prison
Until 13 years later. Been model citizen should count for something. His neighbors want the 13-year sentence dismissed or at least cut very short.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Patient Discovers ObamaCare Doesn't Cover Brain Surgery
Makes the surgeons put non-malignant tumor back.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
SCIENTISTS Clone cells from adults.
"We can now clone a man", says scientist. "We can now clone a man", says clone.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Historians confirm Jesus in fact did NOT even lift!
Historians from the University of Bristol have recently confirmed Jesus never even lifted, and was possibly obese. Research is being organized to publish the proof within the next month or so.
written by Phil Carlnova, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1300
Snoops: Bob Newhart seemed to be a sweet misunderstood comedian but at one time, the notorious Newhart Brothers ran New Jersey!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1299
Snoops: Fatty Arbuckle could balance 20 kids on a see-saw.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1298
Snoops: More people die from being scared by a fake big tarantula every year than in car crashes!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1297
Snoops: Still unexplained is the mystery of Ground Hog Day in 1089 when Phil not only didn't see his shadow but didn't even have one, even when a spotlight hit him.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1296
Snoops: Donald Duck reveals that Huey, Dewey and Louie have another brother named Screwy but he is kept in the back of the duck pond with a target drawn on him.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1295
Snoops: After all these years of climbing the pyramids climbers discover a secret escalator button.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1294
Snoops: Stephen Hawking says that there is life on other planets. He says he's hoping they are fuzzy little bunnies instead of hard-headed humans like here.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1293
Snoops: Charles Lindbergh actual first name was "Chuck".
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1292
Snoops: Pope Francis is working on a huge catalog of Monk Products to get out before Christmas this year, "Everything From Handmade Caskets to Footmade Wine and cheese!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1291
Snoops: Before the invention of the hair dryer, people often used fire bellows to blow it dry.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1290
Snoops: An American will use more water in a shower in one day than a third world country in a month. France in three months.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Hotel magnate, Clinton fundraiser pleads guilty
'Thats the only way to buy them, get into the system'. Glad we got this out in the open. Political cheating has always been!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
PRESS SHAME: The 'Toughest Interview Obama Did Was With Jon Stewart'...
Mr. President, what is the least number of bananas in a bunch? "That would be one." "Wow! Right off the bat!"
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Did You Know Every New Car Has a Secret Price?
Send $20 to Bureau, C/O The Spoof and we'll show you how to save up to $25 on a new car.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #22
2013 - Same-sex marriage is legalized in New Zealand. an with sheep refused.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #21
1970 - Paul McCartney's 1st solo album "McCartney" is released. "Wanted to make sure everyone knew it wasn't The Beatles!"
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #20
1920 - American Professional Football Association forms (NFL). 1921 Players demand better helmets, pads after 200 knockouts.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #19
1929 - Baseball great Babe Ruth (34) marries 2nd wife Claire Merritt Hodgson (31). Takes off two games, hits 8 round trippers.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #18
1747 - French troops occupy Zeeuws-Flanders, Netherlands. General, "Say that again. We just invaded where..and say it slow."
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #17
1704 - 1st successful US newspaper; published in Boston by John Campbell. Includes special section to wrap fish!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #16
1629 - 1st commercial fishery established. "Hey guys, we can't eat all this fish. Let's sell some of them."
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #15
1524 - Giovanni Verrazano, a Florentine navigator, discovers New York Bay. Names it Florida, after Florentine!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #14
1492 - Christopher Columbus signs contract with Spain to find Indies. Began packing undies.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #13
858 - Benedict Arnold III ends his reign as Catholic Pope. converts to Protestantism.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #12
Americans seize 1,100 tons of uranium, 1945. To be used for peaceful purposes!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #11
JFK waits for word on the Bay of Pigs invasion, 1961. "No surprise! Somebody squealed", he is told.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #10
Eddie Cochran dies, and Gene Vincent is injured, in a UK car accident, 1960. Car's name? "American Pie". Same as plane carrying Buddy Holly later.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #9
General Hospital airs 10,000th episode, 2002. And you can now have them all on 20 CD's for the price of $19.95! Plus if you call within 60 minutes, we'll add the 10 years that followed.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #8
Benjamin Franklin dies, 1790. Head immediately placed on $100 bill! Rest of him buried two days later.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #7
A single horsehair uncovers a murderer, 1936. Horsehair kept overnight in rain barrel, turns into worn that points to criminal!!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #6
The Bay of Pigs invasion begins, 1961. Ends also!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #5
Battle of Plymouth, North Carolina, begins, 1864. 100 years before release of 1964 Mustang, exactly!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #4
Ford Mustang debuts at World's Fair, 1964. First time viewers looking more at car than at bikini model beside it.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #3
The Confederacy conscripted all white men between the ages of 18 to 35. "We must not allow our black brothers to fight and get killed!", a slogan heard all through the Civil War.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History #2
In 1789, President-elect George Washington left Mount Vernon, Va., for his inauguration in New York. Forgets teeth.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Today in History
On April 16, 1964, The Rolling Stones' first album, titled "The Rolling Stones," was released. Young Keith Richards ugly way back then!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Dem Politician says GOP Opponent Prejudice
"My great great grandfather was part-Cherokee!"
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Widows Dumped from ObamaCare Plans in Alabama.
This is the one that might lead GOP back to Senate leadership.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Diarrhea Virus Wipes Out Pigs.
Look for pork chops, pork rinds, ham to go up! Pigs can't fly but can go up!
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Meanwhile Putin Plans Next Attack As U.S. Distracted
38 million gallons of water dumped after teen caught urinating in city reservoir.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Putin Warns White House
"Better shut your yap or you'll be in for a spanking!"
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
President Warns Putin Again
"And this time I mean it, unlike those 40 other warnings."
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Brain Surgery Patient's Obamacare Plan Denies Meds, Drops Docs.
But does pay for plastic container to piss in.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Three dead after Ukrainian military base attacked.
Led by Putin himself. shown everywhere on TV.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
PAPER: The Soviet revival
Just waiting for a weak President to come along.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
In Anticipation of Thug Putin Moves, the Baltic States Outsource Defense
Vilnius- Joint resolution from the Baltic States states Israeli commandos have been hired to man borders against the likely incursion of Russian tanks. Balts say: "We needed men we could rely on!"
written by Trinculoman, 17 April 2014
Air Head Society Issues Latest Prognostication on Atmospheric Change
Roswell,NM- Recent proceedings of the Air Head Society concluded with their official press release regarding atmospheric metamorphosis. Society President Chic N Little is quoted:"The Sky is Falling!"
written by Trinculoman, 17 April 2014
President Obama OK' Trillion Dollar Bills
Will print only 20 but we will send our creditors and pay off national debt. And so I get no argument, I put Ronald Reagan's picture on it.
written by Bureau, 17 April 2014
