Married Couple Making Homemade Porn Movies Arrested
"Apparently they were making people sick. Being sued for making one guy sterile."
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Cave Writings Interpreted In France
Best we can tell, it reads "I'd sure love to drag her into my cave by the hair of the head. Ah-Cha-Cha-Cha!"
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Kentucky Kicked out of United States Electoral College
Several caught in sting for betting on horses! Making illegal moonshine. "Which one's legal?", asked one former rep.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Fidel Castro Announces That He's Not Dead Yet
"I need a new goal. I've outlived all them Kennedys that were after me. Everybody says I must have been a billy goat in my last life and they may be right."
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
US/Russia Lock Horns at G-20
Al Gore: A good Cold War could slow down global warming, or at the least, slow it down!
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Dennis Rodman in North Korea
Dennis Rodman Is has spoken to Kim about making his country a democracy and asked about having elections, Kim replied: "No problemo Dennis friend,I had three last Flyday before bleckfast!"
written by b kenneth mcgee, 05 September 2013
Teacher Dies on Field Trip, Trip
Field trip to Hershey's factory turns into disaster as one teacher trips and swallows more liquid chocolate than anyone thought possible. She was 34.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Emeril Lagasse Tried To Commit Suicide?
After "Good Morning America" audience member makes fluffier, creamier, richer mashed potatoes during show.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Advice From Lindsay Lohan
"Never try to put up a painting in your house unless you have a hammer...and some more stuff like a hammer. Ask your dad."
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
True Facts From Snoops # 65
According to Snoops: Those close to Adolf Hitler say that he could do a great version of Curly of the 3 Stooges although he looked more like Moe.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
True Facts From Snoops # 225
According to Snoops: Stufflebeam is not the thing you hit with a racket. That would be a shuttlecock. A surprising number of people get this wrong: "How about a quick game of Stufflebeam?"
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
True Facts From Snoops # 663
According to Snoops: "Nobody named Rod, Ted, Bob or Jay have even been a Pope!"
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Illegal Immigrant Lawyer to Argue Obama's Case For Bombing?
Trump: I want to see his birth certificate before we hear him.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Snake found in Starbucks toilet
"Which one?" "I don't know. Most snakes look the same to me", says spokesman for Starbucks.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Huge chain-reaction crash in UK involves at least 100 vehicles
"Thank goodness no one was killed", says American driver. "Lots of those people were driving on the wrong side of the road."
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
After Russia Accuses Anti-Government Rebels of Chemical Attack
Sarin traces found in Syria chemical weapons attack, British government now says.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
What's Next, For Blackmailing Purposes Only?
WIRE: FACEBOOK expanding use of personal information only for advertising.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
NRA joins ACLU lawsuit, claims NSA starting 'gun registry'
KKK meets with NAACP, We're siding with al-Qaeda in Syria. Talk about your "strange bedfellows"!
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Obama suspends political fundraising to focus on Syria
"But nothing about playing/not playing anymore golf!"
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
There is no "Good" side, Mr. President
Advised by several in congress from both parties that U.S. citizens against putting any more soldiers in jeopardy.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Putin Tells Obama Not to Trust Al-Qaeda!
Al Qaeda 'Highwaymen, Kidnappers, and Killers'. (Oh My!) Al Qaeda 'Highwaymen, Kidnappers, and Killers'.(Oh My!).
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Russia claims 100-page report blaming Syrian REBELS for chemical weapons attack
Kerry: "And how long did it take you to put that together?" Not too friendly, these two.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Weiner Has Gone Limp!
Tells reporters that he had a rock in his shoe and waited till he got home to take it out.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Astronomers: Super-Earth 40 light years away 'is rich in water'
If we leave next week, we could be there in less than a hundred generations!
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Cameron Ignored
At a meeting of world leaders David Cameron was ignored because 'he had no cards to play'. He was told to learn Patience.
written by j.w., 05 September 2013
"I Wasn't Thinking When Plans Drawn For January 1st!"
Million Nudists March on Washington DC put off until next summer, probably Fourth of July (although fireworks can smart.)
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Doggy Pudding??
Doggy Pudding, the North Korean signing gorilla keeps pleading for zoo visitors to "Get me away from Old Loony Tunes!"
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Now It's Firestorms
The Weather Channel has not only named Hurricanes and Winter Storms but are now naming Firestorms. Word is, if there's not a Hurricane soon, they're dead meat.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Poll Has Romney Ahead 55-45%
That's among the the "Out of Touch" who plan to vote for the President in November!
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Vote For Harvey Simpson!
Among the candidates for the Oscar for Best Best Boy next year is a friend of the family, Harvey Simpson. If you can vote on this, please give old Harvey a check mark! He really is the best.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Anthony's Weiner gets into pissing match
New York City mayoral candidate appendage, Anthony's weiner, got into a pissing contest with another man's appendage in a Brooklyn bakery Wednesday afternoon.
written by Moose, 05 September 2013
Mormons Upset That All The Good Jokes Are About Catholics And Jews
Mormons complain that they're not fairly represented in the world of jokes.
written by Moe Nightwalker, 05 September 2013
Hunchback King Richard III infected with worms
Probably one reason Richard III was one of England's most despised monarchs.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Ortiz leads Red Sox to 20-4 romp over Tigers
"Except for missing that extra point", says Red Sox Manager, "It would have been perfect."
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Furyk Left off US Team for First Time Since 96
Jim will be turning 108 come this Friday. Comment: "Young Whippersnappers!"
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Samsung unveils new smartwatch that makes calls
By this Christmas you'll be able to change into Dick Tracy!!
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Alaska town roots for feline mayor attacked by dog
Sounds a lot like our congress!
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Threatening World Supply of Envelopes?
China says Manila stirring up trouble on disputed shoal.
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Coming To Your Town Soon?
'Environmental Crimes': EPA sends SWAT team to Alaskan mine to check water quality. "Are you recycling? Look out for the 'Environmental Police"!
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Monster tsunami could devastate California: study
Also, monster earthquake, monster wildfire, monster!
written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
