This day in 1821 Napoleon Bonaparte dies in exile on St. Helena
What Helena's reaction was has gone unrecorded by history. However she was thought to have always wanted to Mount St. Michael
written by Frank Unreasoning, 05 May 2012
This day in 1818 Karl Marx born
Author of Das Kapital and father of the Marx Brothers born today in Prussia. Famous for saying, " Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
written by Frank Unreasoning, 05 May 2012
Man Cleared Of Murder
The Judge at the High Court in Glasgow decided there was insufficient evidence to convict the man of murdering gangland figure Kevin "The Gerbil" Carroll.
Roland the rat is said to be very upset.
written by Simon Saunders, 05 May 2012
Arrest Warrant Issued For Ear Bite Man
A man from Tranent, East Lothian, had his ear bitten off after a disturbance at the Whispers Lounge Bar in the town.
He will now be drinking in rival bar, Shouters, just down the road.
written by Simon Saunders, 05 May 2012
"HOW MUCH!!!
Well known overpriced Supermarket chain Waitrose vow to 'reduce' prices to match those of Tesco, so no price drop there then!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 05 May 2012
'Jeopardy!' host Alex Trebek mulling retirement
Producers won't let him go because he didn't preface it with 'WHAT'
written by JAB, 05 May 2012
MG Rover bosses took £42m before its collapse... Workers get £3 each!
MPs said the infamous Phoenix Four should give some of their booty back after it was revealed staff will get just £3 compensation each!
"Fat chance!"
written by Inchcock, 05 May 2012
Shaggy Dog Story
A man went to a store to buy a new pooper-scooper for his dog. The transaction was interrupted when the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau put their nose in it!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
Maryland's Taxpayers Feeling Crabby about New Taxes
Maryland's tax and spend Democratic governor announced the highest juvenile Blue Crab population ever. Pleading poverty, with a $35 billion budget he wants to pinch $500 million more from taxpayers.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
British Ancestry
A resident of Surrey NH USA who raises Dorking chickens has been arrested for disturbing the peace. When the BBC World service broadcasts on certain frequencies, the man sits upon a fence and crows!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
Middle Class Buyers Can't Afford Them
President Obama is subsidizing buyers of expensive "green" automobiles, e.g. the Chevy Volt ($40,000), with $10,000 middle class taxpayer funded credits. Electric/hybrid car buyers earn over $100,000!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
Public Land Gas Fracking Rules to be Changed
President Obama asks the BLM to rescind the new gas fracking regulations that slow down drilling. Natural gas has been discovered under the White House and a sitting president gets 10% of the profits.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
Gets Them Out of the Parks
A biodiversity group has petitioned the USFWS to put the rare NYC bed bug on the ESL. Mayor Bloomberg had the NYPD transport the Occupy Wall Street protestors to occupy the group's offices!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
He's OK
VP Biden was exposed to a brain eating virus during a trip to Afghanistan. Doctors examining the vice president's cranium found that no damage had been done to anything inside of importance!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
San Francisco Liberal Becomes a Conservative
House Minority Leader Pelosi (D-CA), invoking states rights, wants President Obama to stop cracking down on medical marijuana/pot facilities in California.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
Buy American
Representative Pelosi (D-CA) had praised the Occupy San Francisco movement. Then they broke the windows, smeared dog poop inside and slashed the tires of her new Mercedes S65 AMG!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
No Wonder Kids can't do Arithmetic!
Maryland's tax and spend Democratic governor wants taxpayers to pay down the state's $1 billion structural debt in three yearly increments. Taxpayers have paid for this debt for the last five years!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
That Explains It
The Obama administration and far left wing Democratic Congresspersons haven't a clue how to fix the US economy, Social Security or Medicare. So they invoke inane regulations on family farm children!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
Not Political?
WH Press Secretary Carney tripped over his Pinocchio nose after saying President Obama's trip to Afghanistan and taking credit for Osama bin Laden's demise were not part of the 2012 election campaign!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
Then Reality Set In
Some mainstream US Church members were worried about the persecution of Palestinian Christians and Muslims, until the homicide bombs exploded.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
Live From Afghanistan, Campaign 2012
President Obama takes credit for Osama bin Laden's demise, ignoring the SEALs and all US military/civilian personnel who participated. The president has a sore arm from patting himself on the back!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
Throw the Bums Out
Occupy Wall Street protestors claim their civil rights were violated. What about the civil rights of people going to work that were harassed, insulted and had to walk through human excrement?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 May 2012
