Bomb Threat In Arkansas
A scare .at a WalMart in Little Rock, Arkansas today as a bomb threat was phoned in. People were led out of the store and into the WalMart across the street
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
John Boehner Taking Over
Ohio Republican John Boehner will now be taking over from Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House. John was reminded today that those are pretty high eyebrows to step into.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Obamas Tell Feds To Print More Money!
Not since the days of the Pharaohs or the more ludicrous Roman Emperors has a head of state traveled in such pomp and grandeur as the President of the United State, Obama The Grape..Great!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Pompeii Loses Historical Landmard
2,000-year-old "House of the Gladiators" in ruins of ancient Pompeii collapsed today, as many accuse the Italian government of not doing enough to safeguard a world treasure. Most say "Probably not!"
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
72% Unwed Mothers
Blacks struggle with 72 percent unwed mothers rate with wives and grandparents raising the kids.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Neither Rain, Snow Etc, But Not Bombs
Around the world, a race against time bombs in air as new terrorists activity with mailing bombs.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
US Secret Surveillance
Sweden says US has carried out secret surveillance, especially of our women on the beaches.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Jakarta, Tokyo Grounding Planes
Fear of volcanic ash cancels flights to Jakarta. Meanwhile, Japan has grounded most planes in and out of Tokyo due to rumors of Godzilla being back in the area.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Elementary My Dear, Watson
Bernanke defends new Fed plan to boost economy. "Any idiot would know that if you print more money you have more money!"
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Nutso Statement
Obama calls India creator, not poacher, of US jobs. Oh yes, we have Indian companies in every county!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
China In Charge?
Japan takes half-step towards U.S.-led trade pact. The U.S. takes half step. China says we didn't say "May I?"
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Is That Worth Less or Worthless?
Bernanke Attempts to Soothe Doubters! Printing money doesn't cause any harm. If the dollar is worth less, more people can buy our products, especially our own people.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
GOP Encourages Pelosi Run!
Nancy Pelosi Announces Run for Democratic Leader as Dems go running in opposite direction!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
152 Arrested In Oakland Protest
152 Arrested in Oakland Cop Sentencing Protest. They have received a two-year sentence each, same as the cop.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Gotta Start Somewhere
Obama Announces $10B in India Trade Deals to offset $10B in interest we owe on national debt this month.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Learn To Live With Bedbugs?
Scientists say that there is no way to get rid of bedbugs. "They have built up immunity and even if you can kill 98% by heat, cold, the other 2% will begin growing in numbers again.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
US Soldiers Still Fighting
U.S. soldiers fend off attack in Iraq. The tenth major battle since President Obama pulled U.S. troops out!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Brides Dropping White Dresses
Brides buck tradition and ditch the white dress. "Actually, how many of us are virgins?" asks one in bikini.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Careful What You Eat
Cheese linked to E. coli, sausage linked to high risk of heart attacks!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Old-Man Disguise Almost Worked
Canadian authorities are investigating an "unbelievable" incident in which a passenger boarded an Air Canada flight disguised as an elderly man but was caught when nose tip dropped off in hot coffee.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Dem Loser Speaks Out!
Loser Sink says the White House is "tone deaf" when it comes to understanding how its actions being greeted by the majority of Americans. "You would think that with the size of those ears, he'd hear."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Such A Man!!
Pope makes pilgrimage visit to Spain to lay a wreath at the grave of St. Francisco Franco.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Sounds Familiar
Mexico reports that Drug lord #2 killed in Mexico border clash with Marines.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
US & India United!
Obama: U.S., India united against terror, horror, pissing your pants apprehension!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Al-Qaeda Group Claims Cargo Bombs
"Yup - they're the ones... knew we'd put them down somewhere. Can we have them back please? Ta"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
"Hm... bath or shower. Bath? Shower?..."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 November 2010
Pope Warns Of Spanish Secularism
"Could be as bad as Dutch Elm, German Measles, Spanish Flu..." says Vatican source.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 November 2010
Do You Have Your Red, White & Blue Card?
Mexican President promises it's people that they will crack down on illegal aliens from up north, taking their jobs away!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
May Lose Trophy
Last year's winner of the National Spelling Bee accused of using Gingko Biloba.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
PETA Getting More Respect
PETA says they expect more people to listen to them after yesterday's announcement that they now had nuclear weapons.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Thin Model Study
Study shows that while many thin models are making good money, several are falling through the cracks.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Dark Cloud In Silver Lining
United States employees increase partially due to so many hired to tear down old auto factories.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
GOP Cracking Down Already
President Obama says that he hates to do it but will compromise and remove cheaper placebos, ribbed-for-her-pleasure condoms from his ObamaCare package.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
IF You're This Wide, You Cannot Ride!
Three hundred and twenty-pound woman says she will sue amusement park after firefighters had to cut her out of her pounded on bumper car.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Simon Cowell, again
Robson and Jerome are to sue Simon Cowell for millions, claiming that they started his career. Millions of people will sue Robson and Jerome for unleashing their version of Unchained Melody.
written by Ben Macnair, 06 November 2010
What Do I Hear For A Front Seat?
Airlines set to auction off seat arrangements, who gets on plane first in order to raise funds.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
X-Factor
Simon Cowell has decided to leave the X-Factor, as he claims it is below his dignity............
written by Ben Macnair, 06 November 2010
Jordon's New Book
Celebrity Katie Price launches a new book. It is called three marriages in ten years,the easy, stress free way. We would like to warn second husband Alex Reid that he should not get too comfortable.
written by Ben Macnair, 06 November 2010
Indonesia a no-fly zone!
Airlines make Indonesia a no-fly zone after Mount Merapi's worst eruption yet. PETA says spiders will starve to death.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Pubs Now Overcrowded
U-turn on smoking ban as Holland ALLOWS lighting up in 2000 bars and pubs, as much MSG in food as patrons like.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
BBC Staff May Strike
BBC staff may strike over Christmas. No Grinch, Charlie Brown Special could cause riots.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Ten-Year-Old Mother
The mother aged 10 who had baby with her 13-year-old cousin is NOT from Arkansas, despite rumors.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Third Times A Charm
'Not again!': Hero superjumbo pilot and his crew among passengers as a SECOND Qantas engine 'explodes'. All resign.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
After Second In 2 Days
Qantas A380 fleet could fly again, nearly crash within days says CEO.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Titanic Relics In London
Exhibition: New Titanic relics on show in London, including Captain's waterlogged Log, musical instruments, Leonardo DiCaprio's shoes, Kate Winslet's dress.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
$700,000 For Cow Burp Study
Feds spend $700,000 to study cow burps. Move on to the other end.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
"Goodness, Gracious!"
NASA investigates Great balls of fire over Canada. Authorities say that it was just a Jerry Lewis concert!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Nobody Knows What We Approved
Obama tells 60 mins: It's not policies that were rejected, it was failed communication skills.
Nobody has yet been able to read & understand Health Care package!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Obama Blames Communication Problem
Obama tells 60 mins: It's not policies that were rejected, it was failed communication skills.
The fact that he still doesn't get it cheers GOP!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
AARP Hoisted!
Obamacare spurs AARP to raise premiums after defending ObamaCare! Premiums could be raised by 40% by 2014.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Just A Second!
Boehner: First cut should be lawmakers' salaries, brings sitting ovation.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Pelosi Won't Go Away!
Pelosi: And I am telling you, I'm not going! Brings standing ovation from GOP members in the House!!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Indian Man Hacks Prez Teleprompter
'First time' ever teleprompter will be used in Indian parliament...'We thought Obama is a trained orator not a reader!'
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Obama's Teleprompter Speech A First
'First time' ever teleprompter will be used in Indian parliament. "Most of us can think for ourselves", says one member.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Obama Accuses Accusers
Only 9 AIRCRAFT IN OBAMA ENTOURAGE. "Tabloids tried to make it more but it was just us followed by 3 planes full of clothes and six empty planes to carry back the shopping."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Canada Catches Flier In Disquise!
Man uses elaborate disguise to get into Canada as special mask made him look just like a Canadian!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Good For NYC!
Bloomberg to promote electric taxis in cities. About time, Chattanooga has had electric buses serving downtown for over 20 years.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
German Minister Upset With US
Report: German minister renews Fed criticism as United States, Barack Obama have fewer & fewer friends around the world.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
No Poison This Time
Russian reporter beaten into coma in Moscow. Think it might be due to anti-Putin stories in the press.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Saudi's Warned Us Again
Saudis warned US of package bomb plot weeks ago. Just enough time for them to get here, other nations.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Win-Win Situation
Obama sees 'win-win' relationship with India! "I won a Peace Prize, Gandhi won a Peace Prize!"
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
These Are Key Areas
Analysis: Election campaign ignored foreign policy, idiot television programs.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
French Love Protesting?
Nuclear waste dodges French protests on way to Germany! So where's the German protesters?
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Pope Fights For Spain
The Pope fights to reclaim Spain from social change on the plains.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
No One Knows Who Is For What!!
NATO probes report of rogue Afghan attack on troops. Will we ever get the message that we are not wanted there?
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
US, India United
Obama says US and India united. "Together we can hack into every nations weapons systems in the world."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
US/Australia Security Ties #3
US, Australia to boost security ties. Plan to stand 'Back-To-Ocean-To-Back'!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
US/Australia Defensive Ties #2
US, Australia to boost security ties. Will dig tunnel to transfer troops form one to the other as needed.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
US/Australia Security Ties
US, Australia to boost security ties. Say they will combine border patrols.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Obama Gives Permission
President permits several top people in his cabinet to perform on one-time show, "Dancing With The Czars!" Will raise funds for 2012 election.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Bush Holding Interviews
Bush to speak with Lauer, Winfrey, Leno, others. Join next group on "Dancing With The Stars!"
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Pope blasts Spain
Pope blasts Spain's "aggressive" anti-church ways. "NOBODY wants to have that Inquisition returned."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Foreign Policy #2
Analysis: Election campaign ignored foreign policy. Voters say "All the foreign policy we're concerned about is that we want our jobs back here."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Soldiers: We Thought So!
Analysis: Election campaign ignored foreign policy. Voters hit themselves in forehead, "Oh yeah, all those soldiers over there...wherever."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Hurd Was Overheard
Hewlett Packard fired CEO Hurd accuser claimed inside info about Hurd was not all that she heard.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Shuttle Needs A Little Work
Shuttle launch off until end of month to fix leak, 17 lose tiles, defective flight suits....probably a whole new crew after other crew found out about all this.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Saudi's Warned Us About Themselves
Saudis warned US of package bomb plot weeks ago. Still, few were caught as most misfired. Saudis now warn that it might have been our...their 'test run'.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Bush: Pic In Plane Flying Over Disaster, Wrong
George W. Bush calls Katrina photo a 'huge mistake'. "Should have worn flight suit and rescued people by helicopter."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
"Let's See You Do These!"
Switzerland's 'Jetman' pulls another aerial stunt. Challenges Spiderman, Batman to competition.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Jetman Another Surfer?
Switzerland's 'Jetman' pulls another aerial stunt. Heralded as modern-day 'Silver Surfer'.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Jetman Pulls Another One
Switzerland's 'Jetman' pulls another aerial stunt. Delivers football plays never seen before to the New York Jets.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Comrade Olbermann Fired
MSNBC suspends Olbermann over political contributions. Found to be made to American Communist Party.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Blasted Volcano Grounds Planes
Airlines stop Jakarta flights after blasted volcano! Sorry, I was upset. That should be "after volcano blast".
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
New Saudi Alert #2
Saudis warned US of package bomb plot weeks ago. "Also there are plans to hijack sled of Santa!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
New Saudi Alert
Saudis warned US of package bomb plot weeks ago. Also, "Look for many covered with Holiday wrappings in December."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Saudis Warned The US
Saudis warned US of package bomb plot weeks ago. "We believe in fair play. We warned and then we sent it."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Obamas In India #3
Obama sees 'win-win' relationship with India. "Having wart removed from penis much cheaper here..although Michelle isn't speaking to me."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Obama In India #2
Obama sees 'win-win' relationship with India. President meets the guy who made his teleprompter.
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Obama In India
Obama sees 'win-win' relationship with India. "We are staning her beside ourselves with the news...see, we picked up the lingo already."
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Obama Happy with 9.6% Unemployment, 90% of Unemployed Not Happy
Obama likes the new unemployment numbers, and was way too giddy about them. "They are still higher than I numbers I promised American when I passed the stimulus, but at least I have a job for now."
written by UWGB-Beek, 06 November 2010
Pelosi Shocked People Don't Like Her
Nancy Pelosi just can't figure out why people hate her. "I have people skills and can get bills passed that most Americans don't want. Who doesn't want those skills in elected officials?" she said.
written by UWGB-Beek, 06 November 2010
Hillary Won't Run
Hillary: I'm not running for president..but a place on the Supreme Court would be nice!
written by Bureau, 06 November 2010
Look Ma No Hands
Disgruntled parking lot attendants in San Francisco CA were discovered holding a meeting in a 1939 Volkswagen. The participants were upset over the new imported Japanese cars that can park themselves!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 November 2010
Rod Blagojevich's New Press Secretary
Boring liberal far left MSNBC TV host Keith Olbermann suspended indefinitely for making campaign donations to three Democratic congressional candidates. He violated NBC News ethics policy.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 November 2010
Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee Chair Steps Down I
The MD Congressman chairing the DCCC leaves after his party lost more than 60 seats to Republicans. It took a few days to extract himself from Obama, VP Biden, Pelosi, DNC chair & his own BULLS**T!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 November 2010
Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee Chair Steps Down II
The MD Congressman chairing the DCCC leaves after his party lost more than 60 seats to Republicans. It took a few days to realize the Democratic pollsters weren't smoking green cigarettes, he was!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 November 2010
Redistricting 2011
29 Republican state governors will perform redistricting in their states. They are also trying to convince CA's new Democratic governor to limit former HS Pelosi's district to only San Francisco Bay!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 November 2010
New Message for the Former House Speaker
Democratic liberal far left wing Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) will run for House Minority Leader of the 112th Congress. Republicans change their message from "FIRE PELOSI" to "TAR AND FEATHER PELOSI!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 November 2010
Pancy Nelosi to Run for Linority Meader
Former Souse Hpeaker Pancy Nelosi plans to run for Hemocratic Douse Linority Meader in the 112th Congress. She says she has the vequired rotes, but the American people know what a Bying Litch she is!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 November 2010
Obama's Vision for America, Two Classes
One class expects government to do everything for them, while the other class is self-sufficient. Eventually the latter will get tired of supporting the former and the USA will become like France!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 November 2010
Police See Big Rise In Net Alerts
"It's those damned butterfly collectors," says Home Office source.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 November 2010
