No More Torture
President Obama has signed an executive order banning torture in the United States. In response, half of all prime time TV shows will have to be pulled by January 1st.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
US News Changing
US News & World Report Halting Print Edition! From now on they will hire van drivers with bullhorns!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Obama In Dreamland?
Obamacare is a "Frankenstein" monster in which "everyone loses," while Barack Obama is in "dreamland" when it comes to national security, says Michael Savage, who looks a bit nightmarish, himself.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Man -- not near tree falling in middle of woods -- did not hear it.
A man, who was nowhere near a tree that fell in the middle of the woods yesterday, did not hear it fall. Draw your own conclusion.
written by SpaceElevator, 05 November 2010
"IT Men Not Men says Which
In a Which survey 8 out of 10 men said they prefer IT - that is prefer - sitting at a glorified typewriter all day rather than doing a real man's job like Ice Truck Driving, Building and Plumbing.
written by iscrivener, 05 November 2010
Just A Slight Change
Some gay men getting married in Vermont have had part of the ceremony change to "For bitter or for wurst".
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Could Puff Up!
While last year's tests show that eating watermelon can have the same effect as Viagra, scientists say that you must be careful about swallowing watermelon seed.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Couple Found Dead In Bed
A doctors study group now say that the use of Viagra does not lead to blindness, but too much could cause it to explode!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Viagra Study Released
A doctors study group now say that the use of Viagra does not lead to blindness unless your enthusiasm causes the wife to get poked in the eye.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Baseball Bets
New York Mets Clubhouse manager admitted baseball bet. "You can sure bet it wasn't on these clowns."
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Could Be Causing Global Warming
Do we still need daylight saving time? Shouldn't we have saved enough daylight by now?
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Money Is Money!
Bargain-hunters should check toy recall list first. Then get that bargain, recall or no recall, before it's gone!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Bush: Pic A Mistake
George W. Bush calls Katrina photo of him looking out plane window a 'huge mistake'. Obama says the same about Tuesday's voting.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Obama Upset About Mid Term Election Losses
"At least I could look at Pelosi's tits when I got bored with her. This Republican Majority Leader won't give me anything to state at."
written by unknown
Joe Biden Mototcade Crashes!
Joe Biden's motorcade has been in record number of crashes. "Joe keeps trying to drive with one foot on the gas and one in his mouth", says one Motorcade driver.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Obama & The Dolls
No, Pentagon says, president will not be guarded by 34 ships. Instead, he will have over 100 Obama Dolls from China that will confuse anyone trying to do him harm.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Olbermann Suspended
MSNBC Suspends Olbermann Over Political Donations to Dems. If that's true, why not all the others on MSNBC, GOP on FOX?
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Nuns Sell Rare Baseball Card
Nuns sell Honus Wagner card for $262,000. Bill Gates grandson will put it in his bicycle spokes.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Pelosi Is Back Already?
Pelosi will seek to stay as House Dem leader. That large cheer came from the GOP, not the Dems!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Pope DOES Wear a Funny Hat.
Centuries-old mystery solved.
written by SpaceElevator, 05 November 2010
Bedbugs On Shuttle
Space shuttle Discovery launch scrubbed due to leak in hydrogen fuel feed line, presence of bedbugs; next possible launch date is Sunday
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
MSNBC Anchor Suspended
MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann suspended indefinitely without pay for political contributions to three Democrats, sick in bucket during election telecast.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Obama Cold & Elitist!
DER SPIEGEL: 'Obama Comes Across as Cold, Arrogant and Elitist'. You would think he was French!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Two Tumbled To Second Place
Obama knocked off FORBES power top spot. Last week, it was Tiger Woods.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Who Needs Solar Heat With Global Warming?
Solar panel maker touted by gov't scales back expansion plans. Why are we not surprised?
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Better Get The Lead Out
Warning Issued For Entire NYC Water Supply; Elevated Lead Levels Detected! Officials blame gang shootouts, Mafia wars, filling victims with bullets.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Better Get The Lead Out
Warning Issued For Entire NYC Water Supply; Elevated Lead Levels Detected! Officials blame gang shootouts, Mafia wars, filling victims with bullets.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Amount Of Mercury Up Too!
Warning Issued For Entire NYC Water Supply; Elevated Lead Levels Detected! Theory, too many who had lead in their asses buried lately.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
No Global Warming!
Nudist Colony in Anchorage, Alaska say they voted Republican because they don't believe in global warming.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Wear Less Clothes
UN calls for global taxes to fund 'climate' change problems. Us response: "Sorry, Republicans inn here now!"
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
No Hillary Run!
CBS: Hillary Clinton Rules Out 2012, 2016 Presidential Runs. "Unless the people keep calling for me, Me, ME!!"
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Young Asian disguised as old man arrested #2
Young Asian disguised as old man arrested aboard plane. Giveaway? Teeth was solid white!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Young Asian disguised as old man arrested!
Young Asian disguised as old man arrested on flight to Vancouver.. Giveaway? Not one single hair growing out of nose and ears.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Is He Popping Viagra?
Young Asian disguised as old man arrested on flight to Vancouver. Giveaway? Boner every time hostess walked by.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Pelosi Wants Minority Leader Position
Pelosi Will Seek Office of House Minority Leader. "There goes 2012", says Barney Frank.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Goebbels Wins Nazi Poll
Dr Joesph Goebbels is world's favourite Nazi, according to a new poll. One fan of Goebbels, who beat Henrich Himmler in a close contest, said: 'He murdered his entire family - and that's pure class.'
written by parveen liddy, 05 November 2010
Tunnel Entrance Modelled on Star's Growler
The new owners of the Channel Tunnel are to redesign the British entrance in the shape of Stevie Nicks' vagina. The 40 ton relief will feature an fully illuminated clitoris.
written by parveen liddy, 05 November 2010
John Kerry Still Owes Yacht Fees
John Kerry still has not paid his yacht rental fees & taxes. The wealthy show how that got that way!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
US Circumference Grows
Obesity rates to expand to 42% by 2020, say fatheads doing study.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Print It & Weep!
Brazil, the country that fired the gun on the so-called "currency wars", is girding itself for further battle. "US bringing down other country's currency."
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Vanity Fair Not Being Fair?
LETTER: VANITY FAIR EDITOR FREAKS OVER ELECTION: VOTERS LIKE 'HORMONAL TEENAGERS'...'Better than same old farts in there!" voters reply.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Oil Headed Higher
Oil is now above $87...better get off the computer and go fill up!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Just Like Old Times!
Retired Chinese, American generals hold talks, arm wrestle!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
He's Back At It!
Frustrated Tiger Woods sizzles and fizzles in Shanghai! Opponents were hoping he had cut the farting.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Clinton Duckin & Doggin!
Earthquakes, machine guns firing over her head dog Clinton on overseas trips
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
FOX Wins Ratings
Broadcast nets behind Fox on election night. Mostly because their candidates won and the others candidates lost.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Conan O'Brien New Studio #2
Conan O'Brien ready to break in cozy new studio with entire audience drawn from infomercials.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Conan O'Brien New Studio
Conan O'Brien ready to break in cozy new studio with an audience of twenty.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Lots To Choose From!
New series shows family hurting financially by selecting one out of a one hundred million every week.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
The Spanish Inquisition
Spanish authorities inspect 10-year-old mom's home...turns out it's up a tree.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Love Them Mint-Flavored Kisses
Wyoming, West Virginia lead the United States in chewing tobacco use....most of them women.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
"And While I'm Here..."
Bloomberg applauds Chinese mayors at Hong Kong meeting. Asks for a few bucks to help NYC, "your sister city".
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Doc: He's Breathing Better
High school quarterback in fair condition after huge fart by Center before ball snapped!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Kim Not Impressed
Swiss man performs aerial loops with jet wings. Kim of NKorea says cartoon people have been doing that since the 1940s.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Why Not Give Peole Money To Spend, Not Banks To Hoard?
Obama welcomes new ideas on firing up the economy. "Seems like nothing has helped thus far!"
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Gitmo detainee not to be released!
Appeals court overturns release of Gitmo detainee who helped train 911 terrorists. GOP effect already being felt!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Radioactive rabbit trapped !
Radioactive rabbit trapped at nuclear reservation.May appear in the next Spiderman movie!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Radioactive Rabbit Caught
Radioactive rabbit trapped at nuclear reservation. Acts like the one on Monty Python's "The Holy Grail".
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
They Don't Dare!
Cuba and Iran blast U.S. human rights at U.N. forum. "Notice that none of our people complain!"
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Good wind behind him!
High School kid punts football well over eighty yards...even though it rolled for 40!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Gridlock Better Than Goldilocks
Obama: U.S. can't afford two years of gridlock! GOP: Nor two more years of Goldilocks!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
MSNBC One-Sided Coverage
MSNBC's election night lineup draws criticism. "You could tell they were liberals by the way they cried all night", says Bill O'Reilly.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Obama Didn't Get Through?
Obama acknowledges his message didn't get through. "Somebody screwed with my message board."
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
151,000 Jobs Added
Employers add 151K jobs, most since May. "NOW you tell us", says Obama!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
National Security Battle Coming Your Way Soon!
GOP gains set stage for national security battle! Tickets to staged event $200 each. Fake chairs and bottles brought in for effect.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Earthquakes Follow Hillary #2
Earthquakes dog Clinton on overseas trips. Several have now announced that she is no linger welcome.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Earthquakes After Hillary
Earthquakes dog Clinton on overseas trips. Scientists blame five degree drop when she comes into a room.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Judge To Make Decision In Tough Case
Judge has tough call in Calif transit killing case. Spotted inside private chambers throwing darts.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Better Before, Than After
Space shuttle springs fuel leak, may delay launch. "We don't mind", say astronauts. "Take your time & do it right."
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Old Battle Axe Makes News
World's oldest battle axe found in Australia. I'm sorry, that should be "axe", but you should see the old hag bringing the message.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Russian Spies Caught
Georgia 'busts Russian spy ring', outrages Moscow. Outlaw Google earth.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Once Over Locals To Sell Lava Lamps
Erupting Indonesian volcano seems to have crawled 300 feet north during the night.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Shuttle Launch Taking The Piss
Piss leak around the water converter halts launch of space shuttle once again. Astronauts re-examined for prostate problems.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Space Shuttle Delay
Fuel leak, discovery of funny-looking ink cartridges, halts launch of space shuttle
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
No News Here!
GOP, Obama embrace Bush tax cuts, 'we all get rich', compromise!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Doesn't Sound Encouraging
Afghan Taliban threaten death to all talking peace, especially those saying "Shalom!".
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Taliban "Death To Peace!"
Afghan Taliban threaten death to all talking peace. "There's our excuse say reps from PLO, Israel!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Worked For 234 Years
GOP, Obama embrace Bush tax cuts compromise. Both agree to leave it alone. Most hope that's what Washington will do about everything: Leave it alone!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Liberty In Myanmar
Myanmar military set to win elections on Sunday as voters made to vote at gunpoint.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Not Again?
Georgia arrests 13 accused of spying for Russia. Northern US attempt to burn down Atlanta if others don't step forward.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
More Russian Spies In Georgia
Georgia arrests 13 accused of spying for Russia. Jimmy Carter lead away in handcuffs.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
MSNBC Prejudice
Fox News host Bill O'Reilly and Bernie Goldberg slammed MSNBC for having the network's top liberal hosts and commentators lead election night coverage. "They even did chants & lighted candles."
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Hadron Collider Latest
Recent tests in Switzerland show that time travel will be realised by 2015. UK PM David Cameron has issued a statement "...that the country will no doubt be empty by 2016...!"
written by iscrivener, 05 November 2010
MSNBC Very Bias On Election
Fox News host Bill O'Reilly and conservative media critic Bernie Goldberg slammed MSNBC for having the network's top liberal hosts and commentators lead election night coverage. CNN, FOX were fair.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Deep Impact Flies By Comet
NASA Deep Impact spacecraft flies by small comet, belching poisonous gases. So a near-miss of the earth could still poison us. Just one more thing to worry about.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Brain Booster
Good Conversation Can Boost Brain Power, Study Finds! Also taste, claim zombies.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Conversation Helps Brain Power
Good Conversation Can Boost Brain Power, Study Finds! So jump right in on TheSpoof forum if interested in the subject being discussed.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
On The Dole
More people on the Dole in Britain to be given bananas.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Nice Canadian Couple
Nicest Canadian couple in world dole out lottery winnings. Nicest couple in Kentucky on the dole.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
James Blunt
Pop singer James Blunt is said to be following a career in comedy, after appearing on Have I Got News For You. He is taking advice from Lempit Opik.
written by Ben Macnair, 05 November 2010
Clegg
Nick Clegg, the wonderboy of the Conservative Party is set to play Prince Charming in Pantomime this Christmas. Boris Johnson has been offered a part in a new farce......The Conservative Party.
written by Ben Macnair, 05 November 2010
ironic Twist to Costumed Man's Arrest for Drunken Driving
A Nebraska man was arrested early Monday morning after a night of partying at a Halloween Party given by his friend. His costume? A Breathalyzer.
written by Charpa93, 05 November 2010
Norway #1
Norway the best place to live: UN. "Don't you believe it say locals. Stay where you are."
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Norway Number One!
Norway the best place to live: UN. However, they DID pick Haiti last year you know.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Nice Couple Win Lottery
Nicest Canadian couple in world dole out lottery winnings. Let's all send them a special card from TheSpoof and mention that we'd all like to get together somewhere, if we had the funding.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Obama The Paranoid #2
Obama heading for India to open Asia trip with 50 ships and one to be nuclear, 50 fighter jets as bodyguards.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Obama The Paranoid
Obama heading for India to open Asia trip. Now with 50 ships, 100 tanks and 1,000 armed troops as bodyguards.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
A Crap Ash
For the poor people of Indonesia: Equally as bad for America, it's an anagram of SARAHPAC.
written by pinxit, 05 November 2010
Trainee Doctors "Not Supervised"
"Chuck 'em in at the deep end, I say," says top surgeon. "Heart surgery ain't rocket science!"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
Better 'phone me mam this weekend.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 November 2010
Pass the Celery
San Francisco CA has appointed brothel and bathhouse inspectors to make sure customers don't get any toys with their "happy-meals," unless they eat their vegetables!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
So Much for Campaign Promises!
What reelected east coast blue state governor promised no tax increases in his 2012 budget? The blue state legislature is going to add separate bills boosting tax rates on gasoline, alcohol and etc.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Dancing with the Mullahs
Iran changed its position again on meeting with world powers about its nuclear program. The USA, Germany, France, China, UK & Russia anticipated the Kabuki dance would be replaced by the Hokey-Pokey!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Election Day November 6, 2012
Voters still upset with the Democrats performance gave Republicans 16 more US Senate seats in the election, knocking Democratic SML Reid from power. Republicans also retained control of the US House.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Slime Ball Award for the Second Week
The Slime Ball award of the week again goes to SML Reid. Reid made promises to his union buddies and about passing the DREAM act, in exchange for votes. Nevada still has a 14.4% unemployment rate!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Another Obama Vacation
Pres. Obama travels to India to escape the American people telling him that he wasted their time, money, & are tired of being treated as stupid by the arrogant incompetent fools in his administration!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Deluder in Chief
Obama says Republicans against Aids funding to Africa; wrong President Bush provided lots of money. Obama says court order called CO2 a harmful gas; wrong EPA reclassified greenhouse gas definition.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
History Lesson 2013
What do Presidents Jimmy Carter, Herbert Hoover and Barack Obama have in common? They were all one term presidents!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Obama is in a Dream World of His Own
President Obama is a deer caught in the headlights of the GOP/Tea Party train. "He didn't realize he wasn't communicating his ideas to the American people during the emergency health care crisis!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Ideological Proliferation
Pres. Obama says "Senate ratifying START Treaty with Russia sends a strong message to Iran that USA serious about stopping nuclear proliferation." Iran's Pres. Ahmadinejad says "Ha, Ha, Ha, and Ha!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
