Something They Agree Upon!
Presidents Obama and Bush recommending wearing adult diapers before reading WikiLeaks!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
No Basketball Wound?
Basketball players say nothing happened to the President during their games. "But he mentioned talking to Michelle about her Mom always hanging around."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Court On Med Pot!
US Supreme Court with different members will take up the question of medical marijuana once again. Latest ruling will be made in smoke-filled room.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Obama: It's A "All In The Mind" Thing
WikiLeaks shows the United States Missile Shield is some lazer beams around the coast that would stop very little. Also, countries that we sold it to very upset.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
WikiLeaks Cancels Prize
WikiLeaks revealed Obama comments cause Nobel Peace Prize to be recalled. "We are NOT Attention-grabbing, gumbies".
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Harry's Plan comes together
William and Kate set the date, the date 66 years to the day that Hitler got married to Eva Braun. Harry celebrated by inviting William to a night of ceremony, where he asked him for the first born.
written by Julian Shure, 28 November 2010
Fearless mice on the increase
A study was taken on mice to see how fearful they were, using a cat, 3 out of 10 weren't fearful, but they were the three blind mice.
written by Julian Shure, 28 November 2010
Political Meltdown?
Der Spiegel: #wikileaks 'nothing short of a political meltdown for US foreign policy. Goes with US, EU financial meltdowns.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Ar WikiLeaks A
Pentagon toughens security rules on use of flash drives following WikiLeaks release of war logs but are they a US double-bluff, leaking on purpose?
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Spy On Diplomats
Leaked cables suggest diplomats ordered to engage in spying, an unheard of activity.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Fast Changes In East, Obama On Botttom Of Things?
Iran Fortifies Its Arsenal With the Aid of North Korea which came from China. Will Japan rearm?
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Number 13 Unlucky For Saddam
WikiLeaks: US & Iraqi officials caught and hung twelve Saddam lookalikes before getting Saddam...they think.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
President Gets Tough!
President Obama announces that he may hit WikiLeaks with a record slap on the wrist!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
New Bush Project
Book signing tour by former President Bush dubbed "Project: Enduring Boredom".
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Warned You!
Over 100 customers at airport searches shit all over inspectors. Airports say it was a coordinated protest.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Justin Bieber's Career On The Skids
Apparently his balls are about to drop. And that'll be the end of that.
written by Skoob1999, 28 November 2010
There Goes Marquez With A.. Sorry Hocker..Right To The Head!!
Boxer Juan Manuel Marquez stops Michael Kershawn Katsidis. Announcers spit all over each other describing the match.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Nicole Sherzinger Appeals To Her Brit Fans:
"Stop calling me Nicole Shirtlifter. It's really annoying."
written by Skoob1999, 28 November 2010
Copenhagen Super Bikeway!
Copenhagen plans super highways ... for bikes. Promise it will cut energy costs, healthier air, bikers.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Who's At The White House
Obama returns to basketball court after accident. Total war between China, NKorea and S.Korea and Japan!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Saudi King Walking
Saudi king is walking, says top official. "Should be back in the middle east and financing terrorists again in no time."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Department Stores Gain
Department stores gain, discounters lose traffic. "Not worth the crowds", the general opinion.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
EU Approves The Bailout
EU approves $113 billion bailout for Ireland. Portugal now has hat in hand.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Washington In Complete Agreement
Mocks Obama With a Thanksgiving Message 'to All 57 States'. Obama counters by wearing old dress last worn by J. Edgar Hoover.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Lots Of Action Today
NKorea deploys surface-to-air missiles near Yellow Sea..fires artillery shells near Yeonpyeong Island...Japan loosens Godzilla, Hong Kong loosens King Kong!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Riot At Target, Stabbing At Best Buy
Crazed shoppers stampede at TARGET as Marine stabbed at BEST BUY. Season of Peace & Joy continues.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
More Leaks
WikiLeaks: Mitch McConnel minority leader: Everybody knows Nobel Peace Prize was to enlarge Obama's ego even further.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
WikiLeaks To Be Prosecuted!
SENATORS: PROSECUTE THE LEAKERS! They are traitors to our nation!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Bureau Apologizes For Extra Letters On Snippets
Spoof Snippeteer Bureau, throwing extra letters onto Snippets, apologizes. "Lying on my back typing causes my belly to strike odd letters."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
EU Debt Crisis!
EU Debt Crisis Escalates. Nations gather to avoid domino effect!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
No Nuclear Iran
WikiLeaks: Arabs urge air strike on Iran. Didn't care if it was US or Israel!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
China Doing Computer Sabotage
China conducting computer sabotage. "None of the rest o us would do search a thing", say Russia, US.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Use Obama's Vanity
US to Slovenia: Take a prisoner if you want meeting with Obama. He loves being the hero.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Iron Lady Sec.
Clinton Orders US Diplomats to Spy on Other Countries at UN. Follow them to the bathroom and gets the goods.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Two Flops
First came Fox's "Lone Star," two low-rated episodes & out. Next was ABC's "My Generation," poorly reviewed, poorly received, and gone. Proof that being sponsored by Viagra doesn't mean it won't flop!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
You Are Worth Many Goats, Darling.
Rumor still going around that Osama Bin Laden has the hots for Whitney Houston. No wonder the lady has been acting so strange!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
US South Welcomes Alien As One Of Their Own!
UFO alien's first words not "Take me to your later" but "Is it hot down here or is it me?"
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Force Of Habit!
Freed Bush shoe thrower arrested once again over, attempting to throw his hat in the ring for recent elections, throw another shoe by mistake.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Fed Warning For Holidays
Feds: Remember if it's too good to be true, it probably came from Nigeria.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
ObamaCare Modified
New congress modifying ObamaCare 5,500 pages down to Snippet size, 200 words or less.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Iran Leader Wrong
Iran leader, Ahmadinejad wrong about Israel not existing says Snopes.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
X Factor Being Checked By FBI Agents
Guest judges next month on The X Factor: Agents Mulder and Scully! Suspect one contestant was an alien.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
DC Madame Arrested
A DC call girl who works exclusively with judges and lawyers has been arrested for taking the law into her own hands, body.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
America is a two-faced little bee-otch!
WikiLeaks disclosures threaten to expose US foreign policy as quite similar to the plot of Mean Girls.
written by Catherine the Average, 28 November 2010
Member Of Pit Crew Fiered
Danica Patrick almost won her first major race earlier this year and blames the slow make-up man in pit for her loss.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Those WikiLeaks Must Be Something
US asks WikiLeaks to halt document release. Meanwhile President Obama tells China just kidding about nationalizing everything here. Abandoning dollars.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Politics Involved!
McCain says politics at issue with policy on gays in military. Of course, everything else is also, here in Washington."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Stop The Presses
US asks WikiLeaks to halt document release or prepare for third world war.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
EU Proposing New Rules
EU proposes new rules for future bailouts. "At this rate, a few more countries go belly-up and we'll all need bailing out", says spokesman.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Lame Duck Meetings Begin
Congress preps for lame-duck battles over taxes, foreign policy. Nancy Pelosi about to Quack Up!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Egypt A Hard Place To Lose Election
Egypt picks parliament after roundup of opposition to be housed in jails, cemeteries.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
All Foreigners Take Notice
Swiss voters approve foreigner deportation plan. Several nations watching very closely.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Brazil Cracking Down!
Send in the tanks! Under heavy gunfire police smash their way into shanty town to take on drug traffickers. Should be an interesting Olympic site a few years from now.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Still In Name-Calling Stage
North Korea threatens a 'sea of fire' as the South begins posturing war games with US. South Korea counters with "A barren land to the north!"
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Cheap Liquor Outlawed?
Cheap booze to be banned under 'radical' plans to curb binge drinking, Health Secretary warns. "We'll make our own", say low-income housing occupants.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Or Proper Side Of The Ditch
One for the road? Author reveals how Tony Blair loved a tipple when traveling. "Told me he could concentrate better on driving on the proper side of the road."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Outdoor Sex Rough In This Weather
Queen's friend calls in police after his estate is overrun with people having outdoor sex. "I'll teach the buggers", says Sir Beville Stanier.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
They Go To The Wrong Floor
Alarmingly high death rates at 19 NHS hospital trusts, influential report reveals. Many blame big gator in basement kept once as a small pet until it grew on them.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Envoy Training Expensive
Taxpayers' £120,000 to teach envoys how to stand up straight, jiggle penis after taking a leak.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Who's Next For Bailout?
Who's next?: Alan Johnson's 'concern' over more handouts as Ireland looks to Brussels for a £72bn bailout. "Speak up now, don't be shy."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
WikiLeaks Split US Parties Also
Unflattering U.S. assessment of George Bush also 'to be released' in WikiLeaks files. "You will all guess who 'Nuckklar Head' is reference to.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Oh Those WikiLeaks
Unflattering U.S. assessment of Cameron and Brown 'to be released' in WikiLeaks files. "Obama's calling that 'old idiot' in Britain had to be about me", says Brown.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
War Games!
US, SKorea launch war games in tense Yellow Sea! Many say that this is the first time they have ever witnessed a tensed sea.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Fry shocks with new book 'How to keep your Woman.'
Stephen Fry reveals to men what women really want, from a first hand experience he touches on subjects about tampons to knitting. Fry quotes 'if you really want to keep her, get yourself castrated!'
written by Julian Shure, 28 November 2010
Couple Denied Marriage
Interracial couple denied a marriage once again in Louisiana. Say that we don't need another Barack Obama or Tiger Woods.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
We'r Keeping Our Eyes on Them!
Pakistan nuclear weapons in safe hands say Tareq and Michaele Salahi!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
May Roll Back Down
Jonathon Smith has became the first 'Bubble Boy" to make it to the top of Mount Everest!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Recession Over...For Some
Recession is over say stores. Then why am I the only one in here? asks customer.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Top Tips
Always ensure you wear a pressurized pressure suit when venturing into outer space.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 28 November 2010
Cats with whiskers are more successful
A study taken on cats showed 80% that preferred to have whiskers could manoeuvre in the dark.
written by Julian Shure, 28 November 2010
Mostly Hit By Other Teens
Study: Teens with own cars have more crashes. Those that have no cars have very few, if any. Mostly because a few teen pedestrians get hit my texting teen drivers.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Driving & Testing Don't Mix
One out of four admit to testing while driving. Auto accidents up 25%.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Two More Months Of Job Growth
Fed Says that economy is picking up, especially all those people hired after January sales to tear down places of business.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Huge Irish March Over Bailouts
Big rally in Ireland say they do not want bailouts under current proposals. "Of course there's no pleasing us", says one protester. We put the 'ire' in Ireland."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Yet Another Sign
Iced tea drinkers in the south say that the ice in their drinks melted faster than normal this past summer.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Fords To Have Special Warning Systems
Ford says i may soon have a special warning system on their cars that will warn drivers that they are about to wreck. Until now, it was the crash itself that alerted them!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Sounds Interesting
Sarah Palin says she may still run for president. "I believe Obama and I could have debates equal to historical ones between Lincoln and Roosevelt the First."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Irish Rescued
International agreement reached on 85 billion euro ($110 billion in Irish money, the Spud) rescue package for Ireland, diplomat tells AFP
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Kerry Celebrates Kerry!
Sen. Kerry rents out 2,000-seat Boston Symphony Hall to celebrate -- himself. "Come see how great I am!"
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Lesbians Allow Male Tourists
Economy causes Florida lesbian landmark to welcome male guests. "Just don't make us have to hurt you."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Could Be Life There
Oxygen source found on Saturn's moon Rhea. "It was hidden for many years because of all the trees."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Who Can Piss Higher?
NKorea deploys surface-to-air missiles near Yellow Sea in show of force, after US/SKorea War Games show of force.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
That One Has It Wound Around His Leg
Skimpy trunks' design, artificial penis extensions cause Singapore blushes.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Smokies Are Up!
Smokies visits up this fall and ahead of last year, many crediting legalized pot in Park.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
All The Oklahomans Say!
Willie Nelson charged with pot possession in Texas while Oklahoma "just let him slip away...out of kindness I suppose."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Needs Regulations
Colorado weighs difficulties of pot regulations as many smoking oregano. May ask Obama for Pot Czar!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
WikiLeaks Warning
US briefs allies about next WikiLeaks release. "Please ignore Cheney's remark about Putin and the horse relationship.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Pink Having Problems
Pink's younger brother, Punk, causing her a lot of trouble.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Helps Bring In Crowds
Macau casino mogul bids $330,000 for 2 truffles. Will display instead of eating them.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Politicians Grateful This Season
What liberals and conservatives can be thankful for this Thanksgiving? Most say they are grateful that the others are so crazy most people will recognize the fact before voting.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Sure, You Can Afford It!
NY Post reports that 80 percent of Americans believe that keeping the Bush tax cuts is "a priority," more than 80 millionaires are asking to "please let the Bush tax cuts expire and raise our taxes."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
New Food Safety Rules
Senate to debate Food Safety Modernization Act, deciding whether to give the Food & Drug Administration the authority to recall food products it suspects are infected. Most thought they already could.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Troulesome Doll
Police: 2 men shot inside suburban Detroit mall, over who had the last Barbie doll!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Tis The Season
Bargain Hunters on the Prowl! Police say watch your billfold!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Violenc-Marred Election
Ivory Coast votes in violence-marred presidential polls. Last man standing wins!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Bell Ringers Needed
Bell ringers sought for Salvation Army. Bigger ding-dongs this year should bring more attention.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Twelve Teams In Big Ten Making Decisions On Next Season
No. 5 Wisconsin routs NU 70-23 for B10 title share. How many of the 12 teams in the Big Ten will go to Bowl games?
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Poachers Finished Off Mammoths!
Hunters may have delivered fatal blow to mammoths. Imagine what they got from the ivory alone.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Mammoths Hunted Down
Hunters may have delivered fatal blow to mammoths. Same as they did to the buffalo years later.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
B-Ball 'Bama
Obama's back on the hard court with 12 inches in cut- as spectator. Many asking him why he's not at White House monitoring chance of nuclear war over Korea.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
I Go A-Smoking After Midnight
Willie Nelson charged with pot possession in Texas. That makes all 50 states, one for the Book of Records.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
WikiLeaks Asked To Delay Release
US asks WikiLeaks to halt document release. At least until we can find a way to destroy them.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Offset Global Warming
One scientist's hobby: recreating the ice age. Recommends that everyone possible place ice outside in shade areas during summer months.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Recreating Ice Age
One scientist's hobby: recreating the ice age in hopes of offsetting global warming.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
But No Profiling
FBI: OREGON bomb suspect spoke of best site for blast. Many surprised that he came from Muslim country.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
China Wants Meeting Over Korea
China proposes emergency meeting on Korea tensions. Kim suggests that everyone dress as favorite cartoon character.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
ATM Robberies!
Many customers using bank ATM's are being robbed. Authorities are suggesting that you keep money at home under your mattress.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Global warming hits UK!???
It's arrived, global warming and all of it's turmoil has hit the UK?!
"Mummy, if the UK has been hit by global warming, why the fuck am I freezing my balls off?"
Answers please to Al Gore!
written by unknown
Paul alive
Paul The Octupus, the until recently believed dead oracle mollusc, has been found alive and held hostage by a group of Somalian terrorists who are seeking 20million euro in exchange for his freedom.
written by whatinthe world, 28 November 2010
Willie Nelson sings 'On the bong again'
Willie Nelson, 77, was charged with marijuana possession yet gain after 6 ounces was found on his tour bus in Texas. Stoned fans were highly bummed, expecting him to have, "way more pot than that."
written by Juvenal Delinquent, 28 November 2010
"Su-Berb Bulgarian Beelzebub blasts Blackburn!"
Phlegmatic, distant, disinterested? Su-BERB, virtuoso, talented, ingenious, imperial master of the beautiful game blasts Blackburn back to the Black Country, WHO???????
written by unknown
Bin Laden takes to North Korea
Osama Bin Laden was spotted on the North Korean border. He was seen desperately trying to tap misleading, inciting, false flag messages with a cheap morse code kit.
written by Julian Shure, 28 November 2010
At Navajo Council Meeting, Kanye West Grabs Talking Stick
West then shouted that Beyonce should be the one chosen to receive the prized necklace of wolves' teeth.
written by Q. William Bacon, 28 November 2010
Bad Night In Britain
'Stay indoors!' Police warn Britons to stay off the roads as temperatures fall to MINUS 10C and 15 inches of snow falls and drunks all over the road and ditches.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
Apple Introduces Four New Video Devices
Today, CEO Steve Jobs introduced the Iped, Ipud, Ipidl, and Ichildpornography.
written by Q. William Bacon, 28 November 2010
North Korea shows its love for Kim Jong-il
Kim waves at the same fans he waved at in 2001, the hysterical fans scream back, "I love you Kim!" The fans were dressed the same, but looking as young and supportive as they were in the 2001 video.
written by Julian Shure, 28 November 2010
Garrison Keillor to Write Erotic Novel
Mr. Keillor says, "My book will be like chicken soup for the penis."
written by Q. William Bacon, 28 November 2010
Obama Collides with a Large Hadron
President requires stitches after mishap during tour of CERN facility.
written by Q. William Bacon, 28 November 2010
Environmentalists Pushing For Volcano Emissions Regulations
...offering tax incentives for volcanoes who can reduce their toxic gas emissions by 30% over five years. Said one volcano, "Hey...this is the way I've always done it! If you don't like it, blow me!"
written by Nik Voelz, 28 November 2010
Time For A Change
47 year old West Virginia mother of 23 children says "It's time for me to get up, see if the legs work and clean up this mess."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2010
