It's Allen Iverson!
Allen Iverson is perhaps the most high-profile basketball player to ditch the NBA for a team overseas, but he's not the first. Says he got tired of "Alien Invasion" misprints in American newspapers.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
France Upset Over Bomb Attempt
Greece intercepts parcel bomb addressed to Sarkozy! All of France is upset. Either over the attempt or of the failure to carry out the mission.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Driverless Car!
Robot car that drove hundreds of miles by itself was constructed by robots, believe it or not.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Also In Divorce Court
French minister of foreign affairs accused of taking his job literally.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Study A Mess!
British study says alcohol worse for you than chystal meth. So everyone, have some teeth rottening, brain crumbling meth with you dinner tonight instead of a glass of aged wine.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Alcohol: More Harmful Than Heroin
That's it, in a Professor Nutt-shell
written by Nick Hobbs, 01 November 2010
Bad Winter On The Way
Solid black woolly worms, corn husks thick and Grandpa's already cuddled up with some fat old woman indicate a bad winter say Weathermen.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
NKorea Has Fire
NKorea-SKorea Exchange Fire At Border! NKorea thanks them as "fire feel warm..GOOD!"
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Laura A Librarian
Laura Bush was once a librarian. She said that George Bush used to come in and 'check her out!'
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Deja Vue
Iranian authorities postpone trial date for U.S. 'hikers,' less than a week before they were due in court. Looks like it's the old 1970's Jimmy Carter Shell Game!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Yemen Mail Bombs
German official says two Yemen mail bombs contained 300 grams and 400 grams of explosive PETA! I'm sorry, that should have been "PETN".
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
NFL Nutty A Halfway Point
Washington sets down #1 Quarterback, Donovan McNabb for backup with game on the line...the talented Rex Grossman.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Moss Another Loss For Vikings
NFL receiver Randy Moss let go by Minnesota, weeks after being traded to Vikings for third round draft player.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Woods Loses Golf Ranking
Tiger Woods Yields No. 1 Golf Ranking to Lee Westwood. Ranking off golf course not so hot either, say girlfriends!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Al Sharpton found out at Halloween Party
Al Sharpton went dressed as RuPaul to a Halloween party Sunday in Brooklyn, unfortunately, he was a dead giveaway for Al Sharpton.
written by JAB, 01 November 2010
Biden Hiddin' Somewhere
VP Joe Biden spends last campaign day in ... Vermont? Blames GPS system.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Dirty Politics #2
Even Jimmy Carter not watching his mouth. "Every one of those Republicans are bad old meanies! There. I said it and I'm glad!"
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Politics Really Dirty This Time
O'Donnell: TV station 'forgot' to air her campaign ads. I won't forget a lawsuit!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rei Sounds Disturbed
REID CLOSE: Opponent is mentally discombubualated! Sulfers from demonics!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Old 99 Coming Down The Rail!
99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 Weeks of Benefits Set To End. 99 Dems left in their office.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Pope Dismisses Iraq Church Massacre
Yes, they're Coptic Christians, but they still aren't Catholics.
written by manbrad, 01 November 2010
Drugs are far healthier than booze, it's a fact!
Junkies Anonymous have declared that taking heroin, cocaine, crack, etc, is far healthier than boozing their reasons being: it takes much shorter (to die), no hangovers and costs the NHS less!
written by unknown
Cuban Prisoners Exiled
Roman Catholic officials on Monday announced the names of three more Cuban prisoners who have accepted exile in Spain in return for freedom. Thousands of others ask to go with them.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Haiti Facing Hurricane
Haiti scrambles to prepare for feared hurricane hit with zombies stashing away extra brains!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Sarkozy Escapes Bomb
Greek police intercept parcel bomb addressed to Sarkozy. "They spelled it 'Shawqikozy"
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Volcano Blasts Away
Indonesia volcano shoots new blast; 21 more rumble! Described as "Godzilla With The Shits" by locals!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Al-Qaida Betrayed
Yemen: Al-Qaida turncoat alerted Saudis to plot. Nicknamed Bashshar Arnold by al-Qaida.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Oh, He Wasn't A Cannibal?
After elections, both sides must repair tattered images, apologize for all the lies and slander before they are sued.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Cat Stevens at 'Rally to Return Sanity' with Jon Stewart
Cat Stevens aka Yusuf Islam after performing at Saturday's Rally answering criticism to his singing claimed, "I had a fur ball."
written by JAB, 01 November 2010
Flu-Hit Thatcher Out Of Hospital.
Roofing repairs recommence next week.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 November 2010
UK Transsexual proves that they are not all just "dumb blondes"!
A UK transsexual has proves to the world that they are not dumb blondes dressed in pink wigs, he (or she) won the UK Scrabble contest and was crowned Miss/Mister Scrabble 2010 both at once, genius!
written by unknown
Sir Paul McCartney Dedicating Song to Obama
Sir Paul revealed today, "I'm changing 'Hey Jude' to 'Hey Dude' in honor Of President Obama."
written by JAB, 01 November 2010
HP Shares Soar
Hewlett Packard shares climbed over 50 % today. A spokesperson was at lost as to why but did admit that ink cartridge sales in the Middle East have skyrocketed recently.
written by JAB, 01 November 2010
Chinese Census #2
China goes door-to-door for world's biggest census. Ashed why they didn't simply take total humans on earth and divide by 4?
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Chinese Census Could Take Awhile
China goes door-to-door for world's biggest census. Should end by 2020 and next one.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Man Finds His Lost Soul
Ralph Newbury, Rhinelander, WI, found his lost soul...It was enjoying a Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks on State Street in Madison, WI.
written by UWGB-Beek, 01 November 2010
Sarah Palin & Company Ready
Forget Halloween, it's the Tea Party giving President Obama a fright as polls predict a horror show at the mid-terms, led by the Witch!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Always Be Ready!
The 238-hazard checklist police must fill in before they can leave the station...239 as "check if pants unzipped" added to it.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Wuss In Boots
Claws! Royal Mail refuse to deliver letters to family after their CAT attacks the postman the big wuzz!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Yemeni Used Stolen Identity
Yemeni mail bombs suspect 'had identity stolen'. So it wasn't 'Martha Stewart' as was first believed.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Walk This Way
Ryanair boss O'Leary warned even talcum power could end up on the banned list people cannot take on planes in the wake of the Yemen bomb plot. Many say they couldn't walk through airport without it.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
The Transgender Murder
'Woman' accused of transgender Tube murder is actually a MAN undergoing a sex change. "It was my first PMS episode."
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Fifth Female Officer Resigns
Now FIFTH female officer at scandal-hit prison resigns after 'having sex with inmate'. Warden finally move Big Dick Donavan to cell in the back.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Let Him Rot There
I'm better off on benefits than doing a job': Man portrayed as a victim of the cuts by BBC actually, REFUSES to work. "Take him off to the graveyard", says Official.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Slip-Sliding Away
New York City man slides out of ninth floor window after applying too much Ky-Jelly.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Tough Love
Parents talks 45-year-old into moving out of the basement and into his own apartment over the garage! "Maybe some day, a new trailer in the back yard, Bubba!"
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Local P Has Big Dreams
Local proctologist has a dream! A dream where he never works on anyone but the stars of Hollywood!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
No Cheap Foreign Labor
Rand Paul: We must protect our American mimes from cheap foreign mimes who work for less!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Palin Fires Staffer over Booger
A staffer for Sarah Palin was fired for not telling her she had a booger during her interview with Fox's Chris Wallace. "She normally wipes her nose on her sleeve," said the unidentified staffer.
written by JAB, 01 November 2010
Guv. Pushes Pot!
California Governor Schwarzenegger says that medical marijuana is good for your joints!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
No Longer Allowed To Land
Germany suspends passenger flights from Terrorists Airlines in wake of terrorist threat.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Each Worse Than The Other
STUDY: Alcohol more lethal than heroin OR CRACK! Transfats worse than all three put together. Don't ask about smoking!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Sex Abuse March!
Police block sex abuse survivors near Vatican but they still heard by large crowd!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
CBS Pulling For Dems Again!
CBS Affiliate Caught on Voicemail Mocking GOP Senate Candidate. FOX says they are only network being honest.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
We Had Figured That One Out!
September consumer spending weak while incomes dip. Experts say that is probably the key to lack of spending.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Boehner Hit's Obama Term "Enemies"
Boehner hits Obama for 'enemies' speech. We're all Americans here!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Historic Political Volatility.
Voters in many states say they fear for their lives but will vote anyway.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Tomorrow Night It's Over!
Dems hope to limit losses, political foes in campaign's last hours.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Obama Not Packing Them In Anymore
OBAMA PLAYS TO HALF-FULL HALL IN OHIO! Half of them there to throw shoes!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Lotsa Bombs Around
World War Two bombs found on Galapagos Islands. Three more bombs found at the movie theaters this weekend, one on Broadway!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Bombs Discovered!
World War Two bombs found on Galapagos Islands. World War Three bombs found in Rocky Mountains.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
First Gay Kid's Book Award #5
Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: "Weak End At Bert & Ernie's".
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Howdy Doody Exhibit?
Exhibit delves into life and legend of Howdy Doody...I'm sorry, that should be "Houdini".
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Didn't See Cameras
Philippine actor playing a gunman killed by watchman!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
New Drug Rejected
FDA rejects highly-anticipated new diet drug, Soonalawsuita.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Supremes To Hear Case
Supreme Court to hear violent video game case where they all get blown away!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Warning systems often don't help tsunami victims!
"We need alarm systems that go off BEFORE they become victims", says expert.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Clinton urges rights progress in Cambodia !
"Human skulls should not be stacked up but given a decent burial."
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
White House Delays...Weighs Response, If Any
White House weighs response to mail bomb plot. May send unmanned drones to knock on door of bomb makers.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Delay's Trial To Begin...Who's Delay?
Opening arguments set in Tom DeLay's trial as judge says there has been too many delays already.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
"What's UP Doc?"
AP Enterprise: Docs help make pot available in CA. Many begin pilgrimage west.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Terrorist bombers may have targeted aircraft !
Experts come to conclusion after all bomb devices were being shipped by plane!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Gay Kid's Book Award #4
Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: Teletubby Tails!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
China Objects: A Plague On You Too!
Plague came from China: scientists say after 2600 years they have tracked it down.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
New Gay Kids Book Awards
Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: "Bert & Ernie Make A Split Decision".
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Gay Kid's Book Award #2
Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: "Bert Cracks Up Ernie".
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Yemen Cracks Down
Yemen cracks down on cargo after parcel bomb plot. "You just don't expect things like that to happen here in the middle east."
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Coming Religious War?
Priests among 37 Christians killed in Iraq hostage drama. Is a religious war on it's way?
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Politics As Usual
In a final appeal for votes, deals are made, money changes hands, rumors spreading fast.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Experts Stoned
Drug experts say alcohol worse than crack or heroin but all three are a real blowout!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Gay Kid's Book Award
Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: "Bert & Ernie's Homemade Fudge"
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
"What's Written Up, Doc?"
Attorneys complain about Doc's handwriting, Docs complain about Attorney's law writing. Public can't understand either.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
You Need Pot For Those Freckles!
AP Enterprise: Docs help make pot available to in CA! But will cot you as fee added into every prescription.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Lawyer-Written No Doubt
Warnings abound in enforcing immigration job rules as no one can tell what they mean.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Volcano Blows Again
Indonesian volcano unleashes new powerful eruption. Locals say it's making an ash of itself.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Not Always So!
Analysis: Turbulent times can change elections. That's why President Roosevelt was elected four times during WWII.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
The Turbulent Times Review
Analysis: Turbulent times and change elections so look for change every two years.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Study On Drugs, Paint Thinner
Drug experts say alcohol worse than crack or heroin. Recommend huffing for getting high!
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Free Health Care Costs Billions
Contraception could be free under health care law but having sex to be taxed to pay for it.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Alcohol Lethal #2
Study: Alcohol more lethal than heroin, cocaine. But take one drink and one shot or snort proves findings wrong.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Alcohol Lethal
Study: Alcohol more lethal than heroin, cocaine. Contradicts last week's findings. Next week's findings.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
That's Your Job!
Deal or punt decision on Bush tax cuts is Obama's. But either way would have cost votes, so maybe a decision next week.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Tough Decision Your Job
Deal or punt decision on Bush tax cuts is Obama's as President has sat on the fence until it's rotting out from under him.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Lean & Mean
Why the economy's growth isn't easing unemployment. Many say it's the new lean, mean fewer people doing more work to compete with cheap labor elsewhere.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Growth But High Unemployment
Why the economy's growth isn't easing unemployment? Because there is very little economy growth.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Gaelic Speaker Shortage Revealed
"We can't understand it," says expert.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
That Carol Kirkwood on Breakfast weather's a looker, ain't she? Talk about occluded front!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 November 2010
Two Days Till Election, Fox News Worried
Two Days till the election and Fox News is worried that people will realize that they were wrong about the election and stop listening and watching their news programs.
written by UWGB-Beek, 01 November 2010
Trick or Treat Shortened to just 'Treat'
Due to confusion over the meaning of the word "or", and that no one does tricks anymore anyway, the perennial Halloween tradition has been shortened to reflect the fact that kids just want candy.
written by Juvenal Delinquent, 01 November 2010
Last family Farm
Last family farm to be disassembled and reassembled in the Smithsonian Institution.
written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
