Mimes Still Under There
Huge landslide that caught a bus full of mimes heading for street performances all over France ignored for the 31st day. "We must do this right & not take chances", says man in charge.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Nigerian's Find Cure!
For what is probably the first time ever, two Nigerian scientists have found a cure for a disease no one has yet gotten, but will soon. Send $50 today.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Brazil Tribe Get Another Laugh
Explorers in Brazil have announced they have found a penguin. "Never mind. It's a trick by those "Stone Age People" keep pulling."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Obama Speech On Iraq
Obama: Iraq war is ending, Baghdad to chart future..Snort! Excuse me. Snort!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Ground Zero Finally Busy
9 years later, signs of life emerge at ground zero where two opposing groups go at it tooth & nail!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Kim & Son Returning From China
North Korean leader appears to be heading his flat head home!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Probably The Same
For Obamas, a (mostly) uninterrupted vacation. What will the next two years be like?
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Around & Around She Goes
A federal judge in Az. made "serious errors" when she agreed with Obama administration & blocked key sections of Az. immigration law, according to lawyers for Gov. Jan Brewer. Supreme Court next?
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Plans to shun Mary Bale thwarted
Following a vote by Sun readers on an appropriate punishment for cat-binning Mary Bale, the most popular suggestion of sending her to Coventry was stonewalled - because she already lives there.Bugger.
written by Piemaster, 28 August 2010
Beck In DC
Beck: Help us restore traditional American values! Washington has lost touch with America and I'm not talking about Bill Clinton and his aids.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Paris Hilton Nabbed Again
'Vapor trail' leads to Paris Hilton's Vegas arrest. Motorcycle cop smelled pot smoke coming from a vehicle, stopped it and in the search, found a bag of cocaine.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Kenyan Politics
Kenya gets new American-style constitution, already slinging mud like crazy!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Wore US Uniforms
Afghan militants in US uniforms storm 2 NATO bases. "It's a good thing we were tipped off and had Taliban outfits on" states one officer.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
New Larry Craig Excuse
Former Bathroom Stall star Larry Craig has updated his excuse for tapping undercover policeman's shoe at airport. "I had one hanging and I was trying to jar it loose."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
School Race Relations
Top schools could be branded failures for failing to promote race relations as NASCAR fans continue to be called 'Mullet Heads".
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Fun & Games In DC
Beck says US has 'wandered in darkness' too long. Sharpton says that is a racist remark by whitey!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Doctor Only Needed To Prove You're dead
Montana third state to allow doctor-assisted suicide. In their case, they just push them over a mountain's edge.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Area Man Changes Name
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - "Area Man" filed a petition with the California Northern District Court today to have his name changed to "Aria Mann".
written by Moose, 28 August 2010
Just Looks Younger
Researchers now say that Sarah Palin was actually born in early 1959 and is five years older than stated. So she was born in Alaska just before it became a state.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Long Pass Helps Saints
Ivory's 116-yard TD helps Saints top Chargers 36-21. Chargers claim he was out of end zone and in stands but officials won't review. "It's a practice game, for pete's sake!"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Relying On The Mayan Market
President Obama says he expects the economy will pick up in 2011. "Lots of Mayans ready to blow life savings before 2012."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Here, Eat This!
Girl Scouts in region hope to sell 2.5M boxes of cookies this year before leaders realize they are penis-shaped.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Who Told Him That?
Two-year-old in Chicago accused of using "potty" words!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
No Way!
Did Americans get any healthier over past decade? Is Barack Obama on vacation? Is the Pope Catholic?
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Maybe Two Years?
Obama family: It's so pretty in Martha's Vineyard, we've decided to stay another two weeks.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Like Father, Like Son!
Daredevil Robbie Knievel eats more boiled eggs than "Cool Hand Luke!" Releases one fart registering on Richter Scale.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Fooled Again!
Growing numbers of the American voters agree with the Who.
"Meet the new boss...Same as the old boss!"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Porn Star Quits
Porn star says he's leaving job before he's gets all screwed up!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
OJ Simpson's Case
FBI, new cellmate probing into OJ Simpson's case once again.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Whupass Recall!
The Power Pack Whupass Company recall over 100,000 cans of Whupass! Could come apart by accident, beating the crap out of you.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Tiger Back To Normal (For Him)
Tiger Woods says that he's glad divorce finalized. Now he can concentrate on his first love, women!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Fumes Affect 100
100 affected by fumes at MGM pool in Vegas. Owners promise no more "All The Burritos You Can Eat Night".
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Russia's New Launch Center
Putin visits site of Russia's new launch center that could possibly shield view of satellites.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Kenya's New Constitution
Kenya gets new American-style constitution. That's what we have now, American-STYLE! Been beat up on a lot lately.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Jung Trying To Come Back To NKorea
NKorean leader appears to be headed home, although he's circling a lot.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Meerkats Set Record
The Meerkats Captioning sets record for most days on. Now shoes on today. "I don't want to talk about it", says one. Other in padded cell.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Outrage Over Cat Tossed in Trash
Apparently there was a cat tossed into a wheelie bin in England. Any news on that?
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
DHS Secretary Arrested
Dept. Home Security Press Secretary Arrested on Child Seduction Charges! Perfect man for protecting the home!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
US Rep To Get Lonely
EU's Ashton to skip restarted Mideast peace talks. "We're going but not participating", say Israel, PLO.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Transplant Coming Up?
Putin, the Russian Prime Minister spends the day collecting whale penis.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Pirate Pleads Guilty
Would-be pirate pleads guilty to attacking warship. "Aye, me cutlass wasn't enough!"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
They're Both Guilty
Analyst: CITIGROUP, Emeril Lagasse 'Cooking the Books'! Bam!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
"Let Them Eat Coke!"
Obama, Bloomberg talk about brutal economy -- over golf game.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
That's All We Need!
Jerry Springer: Obama excellent president. Obama orders secret service agent to throw a chair at him.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Russian Subs Stalk Trident
Russian subs stalk Trident in echo of Cold War. Claim they're only there to study for making new movie.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Recovery "Bummer"!
RECOVERY BUMMER: Youth employment lowest since 1948. "Today's youth don't remember those times. The term 'bummer' either", says study.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Can't Afford Military?
Joint Chiefs Chairman: National Debt is a Security Threat. Obama accuses them of listening to Limbaugh.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Stimulus Would Only Be Temporary
Bernanke promises 'unconventional' stimulus steps. "Like free hookers near tolling booths in November."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Old Fashioned Stimus Needed?
Bernanke promises 'unconventional' stimulus steps. "Like handing out $100 bills during November election."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Bus Signs For Pope's Visit
"Ordain women," London bus ads will urge Pope. "Leave choirboys alone!" will be on opposite side.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Five Deep In Some Places
Britain being "overrun" by street signs. "Sometimes we don't know what town we're in", claim drivers.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Maybe A Comeback Today
Woods struggles during second round at Barclays. "He kept muttering 'half a billion dollars' as we walked together', says his partner.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Woods Struggles The Second Day
Woods struggles during second round at Barclays as his putter gets him in trouble once again.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Hope There's No New Curse
Tut-tut: Security problems seen in Egypt's museums as mummies keep disappearing museum, showing up in movies.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Too Busy Trying To Pay Bills
Recession may have pushed US birth rate to new low as working 2 jobs cuts into sex time.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Putin Visits New Launch Center
Putin visits site of Russia's new launch center. Will continue space exploration even if US doesn't..until Obama leaves office.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Mexicana Airlines Struggling
Struggling Mexicana airline halting all operations. May ask for Drug Lord Bailout.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Best Homes Not Selling
Architectural gems languish on Calif. home market. More retiring Chinese businessmen looking at the area.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
China, Japan Form Economic Ties
China, Japan talks to strengthen economic ties as Japanese look for car buyers that are not so choosy about safety.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Contractor Leaking Secrets
Federal contractor charged with leaking secrets. Contractor says he has a bladder problem.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
EPA Not To Make Lead Bullets Illegal
EPA denies bid to ban lead in hunting ammunition. "They'd just use poisoned darts."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Ginsburg On "High Court!"
Ginsburg talks about television and the high court. "We had our own private bar just in the next room."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Donald Duck, Kim's Friend
Carter's diplomacy, dressing as Donald Duck, helps free American prisoner in NKorea.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
No Kumbya This Time!
Glenn Beck calls for thousands at DC rally. Bob Dylan, Joan Baez turn down invitation!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Police Find Body
After four months, body of Las Vegas woman found in clutter at home. Police thank kids who they overheard calling it "the dead woman's house".
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
"Smoking Could Help You Lose Weight, Jack"
Medicare expands coverage to help smokers quit, will work on gluttons next.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
More Chinese Teachers
WKU will double Chinese teachers in area next year. Mostly to teach simple economics to pass on to Obama Administration.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Ript At Folsom!
7 Folsom inmates hurt after riot, shots fired after someone claims they saw ghost of Johnny Cash!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Cuba Opening Up?
Cuba eases property laws, could open door to golf, autos built since 1959.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Iraq On High Alert
Iraq on highest alert for terror attacks since US entered there to topple Saddam. "They know the 49,000 troops left not as well protected", says Iraqi official.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
We Must Do Something
Medicare expands coverage to help smokers quit, after thinking it over for 25 years.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Fewer Hurriacanes Than Predicted..Again!
Danielle may bring dangerous rip currents to US. Weathermen, like failing sports begin rant, "Just wait till next year!"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Missed It Again?
Danielle may bring dangerous rip currents to US as weathermen make the best of another wrong predictions on number of Hurricanes hitting US.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Insurgents Attack Bases
Insurgents attack 2 bases in east Afghanistan, under new Taleban motto "If you delay it, they will leave!"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Ground Zero Mosque Tax?
Ground Zero Muslim center may get public financing, demolition!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
G.Z. Mosque Could Get Public Funding
Ground Zero Muslim center may get public financing. This should make it more popular than ever.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Libya Open For Business
The 'new Dubai'? Libya open for business. Muammar al-Gaddafi invites Disney reps.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Their Loss, Your Gain
PC industry's woes could mean bargains this fall. Be a good time for a backup for your work on TheSpoof.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Baseball Compromise?
Cuba eases property laws, could open door to golf, even baseball if Cuba could enter Major Leagues.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Love Our Baseball Too
Cuba eases property laws, could open door to golf..but not baseball!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Four Month Case Solved
Body of Las Vegas woman found in clutter at home. "We should have noticed the 50 circling buzzards sooner", says police sergeant.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
After 4 Months, Body Found
Body of Las Vegas woman found in clutter at home. "Neighbors tried to point out 4 months of newspapers on the porch", admits police sergeant.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Body Turns Up At Home
Body of Las Vegas woman found in clutter at home. "It's always the last place you look", says police sergeant.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Body Found In Las Vegas
After four month search, body of Las Vegas woman found in clutter at home. "Should have looked there first", admits police sergeant.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
DC Rally Today
Glenn Beck calls for thousands at DC rally to hear his "I Have A Nightmare" speech!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Paris Hilton Arrested
Police: Paris Hilton arrested on cocaine charge. Already out on bail. German police ask police to send her to them. They hadn't occupied Paris in a long time.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Paris Arrested Again
Police: Paris Hilton arrested on cocaine charge again. Could have to serve full three hours this time.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Netanyahu ...
.....looks on the net and Yahoo to compare Erekats peace deals
written by matthatt, 28 August 2010
Reader's Digest Changing
New Reader's Digest article "Why Is Johnny's Penis So Short" shows a big change in it's format.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Can You Stop Us?
Miami may put six 350-400 pound linemen on offensive line this year. "We'll probably run a lot", says coach.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Anotheer Al-Qaida Threat
Al-Qaida takes credit for volcano explosion in Iceland earlier this year and claim they will fire off a couple more if UN doesn't leave Afghanistan.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Ask Larry King
Most recent find by archaeologists push the big bang theory back at least a hundred billion years, "and prove that we're wrong!" they tell group that disputes it.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
18 NFL Game Season
NFL moving forward with 18-game season, with only two preseason games. "If we're gonna play football, let's play football", say owners. Favre: They're after me.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Woods Struggles Today!
Woods struggles during second round at Barclays after best day of the year yesterday. "My life is a lot of ups and downs", he tells reporters.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
New Opening Up Of Cuba?
Cuba embraces 2 surprising free-market reforms! Will allow citizens sell abroad, golfers to come to courses there. "But you can't have our baseball players!"
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
New NKorean Leader?
NKorean leader's trip spurs succession speculation! Also wanted to avoid meeting Jimmy Carter.
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Let In The Clones
Female Hollywood stars are having themselves cloned. Plan to teach clone everything about acting and retire to eat till they're 500 pounds!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
She's Me All Over
Male Hollywood stars are having themselves cloned, with a sex change thrown in. "In 16 years she'll be perfect."
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
Steroid News
Makers of steroids to have their own Athlete's Hall Of Fame in Las Vegas!
written by Bureau, 28 August 2010
International Breast Appreciation Day in the UK
Rumors are rampant that Susan Boyle is to be the Grand Mistress of the London Breast Appreciation Day celebration parade. She supposedly is to be featured on the "Go Topless" organizations float.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Scientific Breakthrough
New penis growth hormone with bend radius enhancers makes male unisexual unions a reality!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Turnabout is Fair Play
Environmentalists call for an end to metals mining. They demand more plastics made from petroleum, be used in everyday products. They also encourage deep water oil drilling to extract this petroleum!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Gubernatorial Election Season
Democratic Governor (fill in your state governor's name and state name here if applicable) claims to create jobs by hiring wife, brother-in-law, three uncles and a couple of cousins!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
No Wonder there's Gambling in Nevada
Democratic liberal far left wing loon SML (tax, spend, regulate) Harry Reid versus Republican Tea Party conservative far right wing Looney Tunes (anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage) Sharron Angle.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
The Forth Option Was Kept Quiet
FED Chairman Bernanke outlined 3 options to get the US economy moving. A 4th option was locking Pres. Obama, HS Pelosi & SML Reid in the White House basement until the Republicans take over Congress.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Political Science
Thermosphere is cooling due to a lack of Sun activity. Once the election season is over the lower atmosphere could see a reduction in temperature, as all the Democratic political hot air dissipates!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Grilled Chicken
The FDA has found the single chicken responsible for the recall of 500 million contaminated eggs. When grilled, the chicken said "she was tired!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
That's a Yoke Son
Finally, there is a sequel to the book "The Egg and I (Betty MacDonald 1945)." It is called The Egg and I Don't Feel Too Good!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Why did the chicken cross the road I?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of all those contaminated eggs!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Why did the chicken cross the road II?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To leave the State of Iowa!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Why did the chicken cross the road III?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To call the FDA!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Which came first I?
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken, because if there was a contaminated egg there would be no chicken!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Which came first II?
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The egg, grown in a Petri Dish free from contamination!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
Why Didn't I Think of That
Fidel Castro says al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden is a bought-and-paid-for CIA agent. The Spoof editorial staff believes Fidel writes under a pen name not shown on "Our Top Writers Chart!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 August 2010
