New iPod Reads Minds

Funny story written by Slartibartfast

Saturday, 21 November 2009

image for New iPod Reads Minds
"Apple's new release can hold up to seven mega bites..."

CALIFORNIA - Macintosh has recently released their latest version of the popular MP3 player, i. The i series has included iPears, iFijis and other various apple brands but the latest is the strangely named iPod. The head engineer, Dr. App L. Fetish, explains that this iPod contains more Apps then every single Blackberry in existence.

"As opposed to buying apps," He explained. "It reads your mind, figures out what you want, figures out your credit card number and buys it for you! Of course, it still has some glitches."

Those 'glitches' have lead to thousands of complaints from broke customers complaining that they paid half their savings to lose their other half of savings on iMilk and iBeer.

"I had 25 grand saved for a car, but I figured the car could wait. I mean, it's an iPod, for Ferrari's sake!" One anonymous writer posted on the internet, meaning that their complaint is now inhabiting every single molecule in existence. "Well, I was wrong. Oh boy, was I wrong."

That anonymous writer also mentioned that their App's included one which simulated a lightsaber, one in which you drove a Ferrari simulator and one in which you had a certain amount of play money to buy play cars with. "I don't have that money anymore." They included in their complaint.

Apple director, Mack N. Tosh, explained that "Apple is not to blame." He elaborated. "The people knew what the package included. They should've known not to think about certain Apps and browse their mind for others. Ignorance is no excuse."

The iPod controversy has even been taken to court, but, one angry (and anonymous) defendant explained, "Thanks to large sums of money, College Fund vs. Telepathy was dismissed as frivolous after it entered the seventeenth court."

Of course, there are several happy customers who are delighted about Apple's new release.

"I had no money before, and then I got lots of money because someone I knew died. I didn't want to get lots of money because someone I knew died. I was looking for a way not to, and voila! No money again." One testimonial on Apple's site states.

"Apple's new release can hold up to seven mega bites," One radio expert announced this morning. "It took me twelve before I finished it off. It's certainly more then anyone could expect."
With mixed reviews, Apple's new iPod is sure to create a sensation among the psychic crowd. We at The Spoof, however, are still waiting (and paying vast amounts of money from our saving's accounts) for it to detect iMilk.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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