Hamsterdam, Pennsylvannia (IP) - Government officials in cities and especially rural areas throughout America are urging people who plan to be outside during this month's Perseid meteor shower to purchase meteorite protection umbrellas. More metoers are visible in the rural country side due to the lack of light pollution making it less safe to be standing outside there.
Ham radio experimenter Walter Finootch is well known for his development of packet radio which led to today's ubiquitous wireless computer network. He now has discovered that the presence of ham radio shacks draws meteors to the area these shacks are located in. This led him to develop the anti-meteor umbrella.
Mr. Finootch is recovering from a nervous break down he experienced due to his participation in too many hobbies which include : gardening, survival science, astronomy, basket weaving and rope tying, playing five or six musical instruments, camping, fishing, meteorology, cometary photography, collecting butterflies, ebay, dousing, ham radio, yard sailing, collecting ancient artifacts, gourmet cooking, collecting pornography, defacing restrooms in exotic temples, planting pot seeds in garden sections of large chain stores, voyeurism, wearing ladies undergarments, and criminal mischief.
One merely has to go outside of any area where a ham shack is located and he will see for himself that on nights when a meteor shower is occurring that many meteors will be detected in that area.
The result of this information being released so close to the date of the meteor shower has resulted in a mad rush on stores that sell the life saving umbrella. Cyber auctions are overwhelmed by the demand for this fast selling item and once again wealthy folks who can bid as high as they please will get the benefit of the umbrella leaving folks with less money in dire peril. It is yet another example of Darwinian economics at work.
Survivalists with bomb shelters within their compounds are smugly sitting back and watching this event unfold with a feeling of satisfaction and we did not bother to interview any of these folks because nobody wants to hear their I-told-you-so remarks. They are much to conscious of their virtue and self importance at this point in time. Their neighbors are urged not to approach survivalist's properties as the time for the meteor shower approaches.
If you have a ham radio or a shortwave receiver you can tune in on communications regarding this issue on 20 meters at a frequency of 14.313 Megahertz.
