Charles Darwin had a funny voice, newly found letter reveals

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 16 April 2012

image for Charles Darwin had a funny voice, newly found letter reveals
Charles Darwin had a helium-like voice, despite the beard

A newly letter, found from long term advocate of Charles Darwin, Thomas Huxley, has revealed that Charles Darwin had a peculiar voice.

"It's quite an exciting letter, I must say," said Melton Shrewsbury, a Charles Darwin Historian. "It was unearthed in a flat in Colchester. Remarkable."

According to Shrewsbury, the letter explains why Charles Darwin did so few public speaking events, allowing people such as Huxley to speak on his behalf.

"It also explains why Charles Darwin turned his back on the Clergy," said Shrewsbury. "This is a remarkable explanation, and one, I for one, have never considered. Not in my wildest dreams, have I."

Huxley, in his letter to Jeremiah Cocklethwaite of the Burnley Evolution Society, explains the reasons that the great Charles Darwin would be unable to attend the lecture on Evolution Cocklethwaite had arranged, but instead would be represented by Unwin Gloryhole.

"Huxley explains to Cocklethwaite that Charles Darwin's voiice is a cross between a squeaky mouse and an overtightened violin string," said Shrewsbury. "Can you imagine a Catholic Sermon delivered in such a ridiculous voice. It is of no surprise to me at least that Charles Darwin left the clergy. In his shoes I would have done the same. Utterly."

As far as Shrewsbury is concerned, the high pitched voice of Darwin also gives credence to his reasons for going on the Beagle and discovering the mechanisms behind evolution.

"You could say, haha," said Shrewsbury, "that the scientific world holds a great deal of debt to Darwin's vocal chords! What?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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