Written by Pointer

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

image for AssFrFred$$Giveness: Should Needy Catholic Schools Go Charter?
How about an opera, a gourmet dinner and a little Nicene nookie?

Dear AssFF44G, As a child educated in the catholic schools of NY and later a Catholic school teacher for 30 years, I am confused and frankly troubled by the Brooklyn diocese's plan to convert needy RC schools into secular charters. Has our religious identity come to mean nothing? Cannot the Roman Catholic community support the Church's mission to provide the next generation with a truly spiritual education?

Dazed and confused by a new Century Catholicism

Dear DC/AC,

The question your online confessor AssFr Fred must ask you is where and when did you get your wires crossed. Did you somehow miss the seat collection moneychangers at the church door? The constant sermons about money? the second and third collections that were emphasized more than the consecration? Bottomline: we would take down every cross and crucifix and turn our religious statuary into chalk dust if we thought we could get the Sisyphean ordeal of paying for these insufferable schools off our backs.

Didn't you ever notice that we never paid our dedicated faculty even a fair wage, nevermind provide them with the healthcare and retirement that Papal Documents called the rights of every human? All the while of course the rectory food and booze budget never took a cut. Truth be told, DC/AC you catholics deserve the leadership you get... If we can unload these squealing, puking brats onto the state budget and preserve for just one more generation our clergy opera subscriptions and gourmet restaurant reservations with our hot dates of each and every gender and orientation, then, Blessed be the Charter school, for the kingdom of pleasure can still be ours...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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