Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 8 November 2008

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image for A Few Of The Most Absurd Ideas In The History Of Mankind
Invading Russia Did Fuck All For My Street Cred, Said Napoleon Boneparte Yesterday

'I've got it, we'll invade Russia.' - Adolf Hitler.

'What about Sarah Palin as a running mate?' - ex Presidential Candidate John McCain, oven chip magnate.

'Hang on a sec Yoko, I'll just sign this autograph,' - John Lennon, Dakota Building, Central Park West, NYC. December 1980.

'What the FUCKING HELL'S TH...' The Mayor of Hyroshima, Japan, 1945.

'Ignore Solskjaer, he's not tall enough to be a threat.' -Bayern Munich defender, May 1999, Nou Camp, Barcelona.

'Who's taking the next one?' - John Terry, Chelsea captain to team mates, Moscow, (can't spell the name of the Lusznicki stadium) 2008.

'It'll all blow over Russ mate, no more than a storm in a teacup.' - Jonathan Ross preserves his street cred.

'We've hit the fucking jackpot here Grandad you dopey old git. Wake up and smell the fucking money.' - Satanic Slut, Georgina Baille.

'Let it all hang out,' - Richard Madeley to Judy Finnegan, live TV broadcast , November 2008

'I'll spread you out you soft southern bastard!' - Judy Finnegan to Richard Madeley. Ditto.

'Is this any way to motherfucking behave you cocksucking motherfucking sons of slave trading bitches?' - Barack Obama reduces his rep of tactful and sensitive diplomacy, yet rivals Eminem's reputation as the most out there gangsta rapper following a guest appearance on Richard and Judy's monumental fuck up TV show.

'I'm dying here and nobody seems to give a fuck. Why?' - ex Big Brother contestant, handjob and racist expert non pareil Jade Goody sobs.###

'Am I not gooder than you?'
We don't really know. Give us a clue...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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