That Darned Cat - A Blog 'bout a Mog

Written by Day

Friday, 11 July 2008


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Monday Blues - Jun 9, 2008, 1:08 pm

Today is not a good day for the cat as he is just hungover from a night out with the Judge. The cat was meant to find a new job today "Teaching English to other cats" but another beer sounds better.

The cat has been thinking of starting a new relationship in space or trying to get on the next flight to mars or just find a hot chick with lots of money who drinks "Leo Beer" to support the stray dogs in his soi.

Thursday no blues - Jun 12, 2008, 11:23 am

The cat was cool this morning, he got home at 3 a.m. and looked bad. He said he had been out with some space dudes drinking rum and other things.

He said he met a hot space chick in a bar but he fell over and passed out.

My idea is not to take anymore strays into my life, cause they are only strays and will be as good as the cat is. But one cat is enough for today.

Thursday Blues - Jun 19, 2008, 12:36 pm

The cat is not a happy cat, he came home at 3 a.m. this morning with no cash in his pocket and asked me to pay for his taxi. I asked him "what have you done with the 20 Baht I gave you last night?" His answer was "spent it all on hot chicks."

So, paid for his taxi who was not happy because the cat had tried to have sex with his back seat.

I told the taxi driver that it was normal for the cat to do that and I have had to change my location many times because of this. I think I must find another home for myself again and start to drink more Leo beer to easy the pain of not having a sofa.

Friday's song - Jun 20, 2008, 6:49 pm

The cat and I just sat through a song sent by a friend, (can't tell who) but it was so bad the cat was upset and said "you don't love me anymore and you have another cat in your life" and took his box and is now sleeping down the hall near the rubbish and still singing the song.

I just talked to the cat and he said he is going to protest about cat songs in town, "join them" I told him and "don't forget the kitty litter!"

Monday Blues again - Jun 23, 2008, 4:26 pm

The cat is not back from his protest about bad music, but I got a call from him on his new mobile phone, he said "things are going well with the protest but he is sure the old singers will be back again." I asked him where he got the money to buy a new phone and he told me it was a gift from a somtam seller who he is in love with. I wished them all the luck in the world and keep Pock Pocking together.

Tuesday High - Jun 24, 2008, 6:17 pm

The cat is back from his broken protest, a broken mobile phone and a broken heart. The somtam seller who the cat fell in love with ditched him for some bigshot who looks like a pig with grey hair, who promised her a new stall, a gold rolex, a house and a benz with a driver. The cat got angry and attacked the big shot with his claws out, the cat fought well and gave the bigshot a run for his money, but the bigshot just had too many friends with lots of money. The cat was escorted off by some guys with funny hats and thrown in a rubbish bin, thus the broken mobile phone. I told the cat next time he goes to one of his protests to take some protection like a condom to keep the germs away.

Wednesday blues - Jun 25, 2008, 8:53 pm

The cat thought of an idea to get a hot chick interested in him, but it turned out she was too smart and moved out of the cat's grasp. I told the cat play music to her, so he sent her a song. But she replied "I have long hair" as the cat was just about to jump off the toilet seat and kill himself. I said to the cat "look what happened to the last toilet seat" no answer from the cat, because he knew, sets are made to be broken just like bad songs.

Sunday Cat Strew - Jun 29, 2008, 5:59 pm

The cat just arrived home from learning Kung Fu and has been trying to show off his skills to the locals. He has a black eye and a broken jaw, I asked him "this was your fist lesson in the art of kung fu, why did you want to show it to the local taxi drivers?" He explained that the instructor said that he was a natural and could even beat Bruce Lee and signed the cat up for another 20 lessons at a cost that would buy a new Benz. I told the cat that Bruce Lee was dead and the mouse that lives down the hall could beat him, and the cat has been trying to beat up the mouse for the past 6 months. So, we just sat down together and finished the 5 day old pizza.

Monday The Job Interview - Jun 30, 2008, 10:22 am

The cat cat left our penthouse early this morning for a job interview and we saw the mouse waiting at our private lift. I told the cat to calm down and I walked over to the mouse and asked her what she was doing. The mouse replied that she had got lost and asked if it was ok to use the lift. So, on the way down I asked the mouse where she was going, and she said for a job interview. The cat and the mouse were going for the same job, well the cat was coughing furballs by this time. I wished them both luck for the Head of Interpol job.

Wednesday Cat Hell - Jul 2, 2008, 8:47 am

The cat is not a happy cat, the mouse got the job with Inerpol and she offered the cat a job as her private ear cleaner. I told him that this is a well respected job in Interpol and if I had the chance I would be at the drug store buying cotton buds and trying to improve my skills on the soi dogs. The cat asked me if I'd seen the stage play "Mouse Trap" and if we had any cheese, I knew what he was thinking. I said let's go out and have a beer and pick up some hot chicks, so we went down to the local soi bar and the mouse was sitting at the bar buying drinks for everyone. I could see what was goning to happen and it did.

Thursday Cat Hospital - Jul 3, 2008, 8:49 am

The cat made one of his famous kung fu style flying kicks at the mouse and missed the mouse, but hit one of the local soi dogs in the groin. This was not what the cat had in mind the soi dog looked at the cat and just smiled and then picked up the cat, put the cat on his bar stool and sat on the cat, ordered a pint of beer, drank the beer and the put the cat in the empty beer glass. Every one was laughing by this time, but not the cat. The party went on till two in the morning with the cat in the glass. I picked up the cat in the glass and took it to a local hospital, when we arrived at the hospital a doctor came out and saw the cat in the glass, smiled and said "you been drinking with that soi dog".

Friday Birds day - Jul 4, 2008, 4:40 pm

The cat woke up this morning with a spring in his paws. I asked him why he was so happy after what had happened the night before. He told he was going to set up his own motor bike gang, he told me he had been on the phone to some cool cats in the morning and they had all agreed to join, but I told him none of you cats have motorbikes so how can you have a gang and all gangs have hot chicks, you don't have any. He told me he had a couple of birds lined up and they were humming to go and each cat in the gang would take a bike for a test run from the local motorbike shop and just not bring the bike back, and then hide out in the forest till the heat cooled down. I asked him do you not think the owner of the motorbike shop will not get worried when you cats just take the bike for a test run, all 15 cats. The said no problem the owner is the president of the gang.

Saturday Life in the trees - Jul 5, 2008, 6:33 pm

Got a call from the cat this morning informing me that things were not so good in the forest, no aircon, no internet, no bathrooms, no showers and worst of all no pizza or beer. He asked me could I come to their hideout with beer and pizza? I agreed after he told me their location. I ordered the pizzas and beer and walked the five minutes it took to find their hideout. as I got near the gang's hideout I noticed a bad smell. I noiced the president of the gang out for the count and asked the cat what is up with dog, the cat explained that the night before the dog had eaten a mixture of Indian, Korean, Mexican and Chinese food washed down with two bottles of vodka and twenty cans of Leo beer, and had developed a bad case of wind. I asked the cat how long they will hold out in the forest? He told me until the price of oil had dropped to $100 or when a new law comes out allowing cat to be president of the USA. I told the cat there was a good chance as some black cat is running.

Thursday cat in the bin - Jul 10, 2008, 7:54 am

The cat is back from the forest, things went wrong for the cat and I had to bail him out. The mouse found out where the cat's hideout was and Interpol moved in. The cat asked why Interpol wanted to join his gang? The mouse replied that the cat was a wanted felon and on Interpol's most wanted list, just behind some dude called Bin. The cat did what he does best, cried out "false" told Interpol that the gang had nothing to do with Bush and his wife, but the gang would sell the stolen motorbikes and pay off some bitches' debt. So we all went down to the soi bar and had a few beers and I just thought about Prim.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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