Why It's Cool To Be Dakota Fanning

Funny story written by SarahP

Friday, 4 July 2008

Actress reveals the Top 10 reasons she's glad she's who she is

Dakota has written up a cool top 10 list about why being Dakota Fanning is the coolest thing in the world. She's even going to try to interest David Letterman in it and get him to use it on his show. But for now, it's just for you.


10. If people don't like one of your movies, you can tell them it's Elle.

9. $3 million per film plus all the Doritos you can eat.

8. Tons of fun freaking people out at parties by telling them you slept with David Morse.

7. Popularity rating more important that math grade.

6. You can take an early retirement at 16.

5. You get to boss everybody around - your girlfriends, your dog, your sister, Paramount Pictures . . .

4. When you're followed down the street by really big guys with guns, no prob: they're on the payroll.

3. Proud distinction of being the only Late Show guest to make David Letterman look like an idiot. (Unless you count Marilyn Manson.)

2. You're rich, famous, cute, talented, intelligent and respected - and nobody's more pissed off at that than Miley Cyrus.

1. Now that you know a little about pigs, you've always got something to fall back on in case this acting thing doesn't work out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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