Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

image for America's Got Talent: PopLyfe, Lys Agnes, and Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. All Really Impressed The Judges
The guitar player for the band PopLyfe showed everyone he can flat out play the heck out of the guitar.

HOLLYWOOD - Nick "The Pencil" Cannon, host of America's Got Talent came out dressed in a stunning silver suit and looked like one of the Lone Ranger's silver bullets.

Last week AGT Judge Piers Morgan criticized his choice of clothing with its multi-colored combination of fuchsia, taupe, magenta, raw umber, and igloo white.

This week Morgan who says that he (PM) dresses better than anyone in America with the one possible exception of ex-Miami Heat Coach Pat Riley said that Cannon is going to have to stop dressing in the dark.

Sharon Osbourne looked up at Nick (Mariah Carey's Husband) and said, "Nicky, I think that you look positively stunning darling."

Howie Mandel added that Piers needs to zip up his pants zipper before the shows producers get a call from the FCC, the ICC, and the IUD.

The night was filled with some good acts and some that will certainly be heading on back to da house as the late, great Johnny Carson would say.

An act, or more accurately a highly dysfunctional husband and wife, who call themselves Captain and Maybelle not only need to be sent home, these two loony, dingbats need to be sent into therapy and quick before they end up in the intensive care unit of some hospital.

What this extremely tattooed married couple do to themselves with the aid of hooks, body piercings, and all kinds of sick props is downright disgusting and repulsive.

Parts of their act were actually outlawed by The Geneva Convention back during World War II.

One can only imagine what would happen if this 'happy' couple ever had an argument that escalated into extreme anger.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I watched The Captain and Maybelle, who are definitely two very, very sick puppies, and I have to agree that I have never ever seen anything that is more ghoulish, nauseating, atrocious, and extremely distasteful as their act. I dare say that the Taliban, Al Qaeda, and Mexico's Drug Cartels do not even employ this kind of macabre torture.]

Probably also going home will be the Left Coast lounge singer wannabee Mauricio "El Boring" Herrera, the jump roping team The Summerwind Skippers who just simply use way too much rope, and one of the littlest hip hop rapping artists to ever appear on the show, the Sh'Boss Boys.

The little trio from Atlanta gave it their best, but they just could not be heard due to the fact that they had about 87 other people doing backup singing, break dancing, hand jiving, juggling, and bling blinging behind and even in front of them.

A rock band known as PopLyfe, who have a fantastic guitar player, will certainly be advancing as will one of the most beautifully sexy and fabulous opera singers to ever grace any stage, the fine as wine, eye candy Lys Agnes from the mile high city of Denver.

And needless to say the shows front runner, a Logan, West Virginia car washer, Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr., who sings with the style and grace (and sound) of the late crooner Frank Sinatra will also be moving on.

SIDENOTE: Piers Morgan X'd (buzzed) a group of former NBA and NFL cheerleaders known as The Purrfect Angelz who performed a very sexy routine to the song "Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy." And afterwards both Howie Mandel and Sharon Osbourne questioned if Morgan rejected them because he does not like girls and maybe perhaps has a hidden tendency of leaning more towards male pole dancers. Morgan replied he loves girls just not the has-been cheerleader type.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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