Bush shows up for the ball in a Rented Tux

Funny story written by jd Balderdash

Saturday, 12 November 2005

image for Bush shows up for the ball in a Rented Tux
Laura attempts to mask her chagrin

(VANITY FAIR) "Sleeves way too short, collar all ruffled, cumberbund crumpled as well ", the president of the United States, according to Vanity Fair did indeed show up for Thursday's VFW ball wearing a rented tux from Dave's "Tux's R Us" tuxedo outlet "looking like Otis the town drunk" from the old Andy Griffith show.

"Stuff happens" in life, says George Murphy, author of Murphy's laws and, indeed "stuff" DID happen last night as the President was dressing for the ball. White House aides say that Mr Bush, running a bit later than late encountered a series of Lemony Snicket events that rival even the 12th theatrical sinking of the Titanic in which Leonardo Di Caprio, along with the entire cast and crew of the S.S. Titanic accidentally sank to the bottom of the icy waters of the Atlantic for no apparent earthly reason.

"First", says Vanity Fair, "Jacques Chirac called" right when the president was ironing his favorite State of the Union tux. Socks included. White House aides say that the president, short on overtime minutes let voice mail rollover and take the French president's call.

"Ello? N EE one THERE? Ello?" aides report Mr Chirac as saying only suddenly out of nowhere Jenna Bush of the Bush twins staggered into her parent's room, tipsier than Ted Kennedy at a Senate minority hearing and asked the president where her boolybog was.

"Naturally", say sources, the president, already late for the VFW ball told Jenna that her boolybog was not in his room. Sources say Jenna disagreed with the president. About the boolybog. Commotion erupted ending with the president walking away from his ironing board and calling both White House security and Jenna's Austin AAA support counselor Tod.

"The president should learn to turn OFF heated electrical appliances when he walks away from them", one white house aide said off the record. White house emergency personnel were fortunately able to quickly douse the flames within minutes after the president ran from his room screaming,

"My TUX is on fire! My TUX is on fire!".

Dave, manager of Tux's are Us was both shocked and awed when the president and 2 Secret Service agents showed up in his shop mumbling something about HOFETR, later understood to be a "Highly Official Federal Emergency Tuxedo Requirement".

Louise Shelton, the meter maid "roughed up a bit" by secret service agents after she tried to ticket the president's limousine for being double parked outside the Tuxedo shop says,

"Mr Bush was in a hurry. A big one. Apparently when they sped off they didn't quite see the cement truck".

Ruffled but alive after a late date with a cement truck and 2 hours late the president finally arrived at the VFW ball with his wife Laura .. the Tux's R Us receipt still taped on the back of his coat, cement dust on his lapels. Laura, sources say, masked her chagrin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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