Heidi Montag's Gigantic "Oranges" Are To Be Featured In Fruits & Stuff Illustrated Magazine

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 4 August 2010


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image for Heidi Montag's Gigantic "Oranges" Are To Be Featured In Fruits & Stuff Illustrated Magazine
The cover of Fruits & Stuff Illustrated Magazine. The "Stuff" refers to hooters and knockers.

ORLANDO - Heidi Montag's hair stylist FuFi Fondue, revealed to Larry King that the world's most famous Heidi, including Klum, Fleiss, and that little 12-year-old Swiss orphan who lived up in the Swiss Alps around the 1880s will in fact be appearing in Fruits & Stuff Illustrated Magazine.

Ms. Montag will appear in a seven page nude layout which will showcase her 'store-bought' oranges or as they call them down in Galveston, Texas, dem titty-boppers.

Montag said that she was first approached about having her pair of puppies appear in the magazine but admitted that the pay was not enough for her to place her two sweater dandies in the spotlight.

She said that when a magazine rep called back two weeks later and upped the offer to $1.3 million per tit, she quickly multiplied that in her head and came out with a figure of $2.6 million for the pair of perkies.

Heidi quickly replied that her and her thundering tata's would be glad to accept the new offer. She smiled and replied that for $2.6 million she would even throw in a couple of photos of her yummy yum yum (muff), and half a dozen of her kazoo (assaroonie).

In a related story. Reports are that Heidi's ex-husband, Spencer Pratt is trying to sell one of her old bras to 70-year-old former actor George Hamilton, who many have said has an obsession with plastic smelling brassieres.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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