Charlie Sheen Blames Drinking Problem on Charlie Harper

Funny story written by Charpa93

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

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Charlie Sheen has been handed a 30-day jail sentence for allegedly assaulting his wife on Christmas Day, and the couple has since gone public with the news that they are trying their best to undergo treatment for their individual alcohol abuse problems.

However, Sheen is making slower progress than expected due to the fact that he claims he is required to drink heavily in his role as Charlie Harper on Two and A Half Men. "I am not allowed to drink while I am Charlie Sheen, but then I go in front of the cameras as Charlie Harper, and whammo! almost instantly, I'm surrounded by beer and liquor bottles everywhere. Everyone on the show drinks, including that kid that plays my nephew, wait, I'll remember his name, just hold on. Jake, right, Jake."

The producers of the show have been asked if there is any way that alcohol can be written out of the weekly scripts so as to create a healthier workplace for Sheen, or at the very least that if alcohol is an integral part of the show, to just have prop bottles containing other liquids such as apple juice for scotch and water for vodka. Their replies ranged from "would that we could, little buddy, but it's just not possible," to "are you out of your fu*king minds? Write for a clean and sober Charlie Harper? Not have these comedic talents consumer alcohol as often and as much as possible? Are you insane?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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