Brit rival to Hannah Montana is due to start filming in three weeks after producers finally decided that emergent star Doreen Skagg would play the part of Tracy Tynemouth, the geordie girl with the corned beef legs who is good with pigeons.
Doreen Skagg is 18 years old, has a fat arse, wears mini-skirts on freezing friday nights at the Bigg Market and smells rather strongly of halibut.
She beat off strong competition for the role by knocking seven bells out of her rivals. Skagg is well prepared to assume the mantle of 'Britain's Favourite Teen Queen' and feels that she can fend off competition from Miley Cyrus and co.
"I'm not that pretty," she told us. "Burrave gorra heart o' friggin gold. The punters'll love us."
The pilot show for the series will depict Tracy Tynemouth travelling to Weatherfield to investigate a case of pigeon mange with Jack Duckworth.
Tracy Tynemouth, Legend and Geordie Messiah.
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