Russell Brand A F*cking Wanker, Says Andrew Sachs

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 27 October 2008


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Andrew Sachs, the actor who so brilliantly portrayed Spanish waiter, Manuel, in Fawlty Towers, has reacted angrily to a prank telephone call Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross made to him on 18 October during Brand's radio show.

Sachs was unavailable, so those other two twats left a lewd message on his voicemail, concerning embarrassing comments about the star's granddaughter.

Sachs said today:

"Russell Brand is a fucking wanker."

Mr Sachs, 77, is not normally as forthright with his descriptions of fellow celebrities, but said Brand, and, indeed, "that lanky cunt Ross", had stooped as low as anyone could go, and were fully deserving of the disgusting labels.

During the prank call, Brand claimed to have slept with Mr Sachs' granddaughter, and made a feeble attempt at poetry, whilst Ross swore, giggled and masturbated over thoughts of fondling Brand's genitals, and those of his own children.

A spokesman for the BBC said:

"Mr Sachs is absolutely right, although his language may have been a little bit colourful. He's from Barcelona you know."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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