Singer Pantomime Dame Shirley Bassey is recovering after a throat operation, to make her be able to sing properly.
The operation, seen as a near-impossible one by many consultant surgeons, has been postponed for nearly forty years, but Miss Bassey decided that people had laughed at her singing for long enough, and admitted herself to St. Blobby's Voice and Clown Clinic in West London.
Clinic manager, Dr. Ronnie Ancona, said: 'Miss Bassey couldn't go on with the public endlessly impersonating her ridiculous voice, even Sean Connery was laughing at her.'
And fellow chanteuse, and probable future fellow patient, Bjork, said this: 'Clear off, or I'll punch your head in!'
Miss Bassey's hits include 'Diamondsh Are Forever', and that other one, and like Lulu, whose own operation tragically failed in 1974, leading her to permanently sound like an irritating school child, this one famous song has kept her in the news for decades. But after this, record companies will be fighting each other to sign the Welsh superstar up again, as long as the operation doesn't go wrong, and she ends up sounding like Madonna.
