Bob Dylan: Indecent Exposure

Written by DJR

Saturday, 1 May 2004

image for Bob Dylan: Indecent Exposure
Dylan's "accident."

April 30, 2004 (Berkeley, CA) -

At his second concert performance during a two-night stint at the Berkeley Community Theater in Berkeley, California, singer/songwriter Bob Dylan stunned fans when a member of his backing band came up from behind him and ripped a piece of Dylan's shirt off, which revealed the performer's right breast.

The FCC, which has been cracking down on this type of behavior since the Janet Jackson incident at the Superbowl, told Columbia Records that Dylan would have to pay a $30 million fine and make a public apology to everyone on the West coast. Incidentally, the whole thing was supposedly an accident.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," says Dylan. "Yeah, that piece of my shirt was supposed to come ripping off, but my nipple wasn't supposed to pop out. I mean... damn. What's the big deal? So a nipple popped out. Don't the folks at the FCC have any appreciation for nature? A breast is a natural thing, for God's sake. Nothing I can do about that. And the whole thing about me having to pay all this money for something that was a complete accident is really ridiculous, man. I mean, I'm rich... but still..."

The incident proves only one thing: the FCC won't be backing down anytime soon. Just last month, they told pop princess Britney Spears she'd have to come up with a hefty $50 million for having a threeway with Katie Holmes and Angelina Jolie onstage during a concert. Incidentally, nobody really complained about that one.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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